Jocelyn was yelling at me for not trying to talk to Niall sooner, I was stalling Josh was my celebrity crush since forever. But than again I had just met him, Ni on the other hand was there for me when Ed told me about his crime against me. Pacing my room thinking about how I would go and talk to him about everything between us, we can't keep avoiding each other but at the same time I felt like I needed to. I didn't need to see his puffy red eyes I have see him a ween before because of the hurtful things people told him. I don't get why I couldn't look at him without knowing I am the reason for his heart ache, the last I saw him cry is from some "fans" told him that he doesn't deserve to be in One Direction I can't even begin to tell you how much he cried. It took him a week for him to get over that, I can't even imagine how long it is going to get him to get over this. I was mentally yelling at myself for allowing Josh and I for gettting so close to each other in a small amount of time. Then finally after hours of thinking out how I would talk to Ni I just thought "Wing It" so it comes directly from my heart not me head,my room was not that far from his so I took my time getting there I reached it and gave it a knock on the door thankfully Zayn answered it.
"Hey Zayn is Niall in there? We kind of need to talk about somethings." I couldn't even look him in the eyes, how am I going to look in Niall's.
"Yeah Tay he is in this room but before you talk to him can I talk to you?" I noddded "Okay so I know you and Josh we practically shoving your tounges down each other's throat but don't tell him that. He cries everyday just for the fact you were cudling with Josh I can't even imagine how bad he would get if he found that out. As long as you don't show any strong feeling towards him than that should be good but at the same time don't push him away." Zayn gave me a small smile, that's the problem though I am stuck in a love triangle. I love Niall and Josh how come everything like this happens to me, I got over Ed slowly but surely the Niall feelings come along. It was really swift though everybody even fans told me how I make Niall at his best only if they knew. Only if they knew how hurt we both were he didn't talk to Ed for months on end and it, was pissing me off he was my problem not his. So many things going through my mind the amount of stuff both of us went through at the same time as well, we where there for each other like a shoulder to cry on. I did anything to stall me from going into the room but I had to clear up what was going on and why he saw Josh and I cuddling. We really didn't label 'us' anything not yet, it was time to tell him how much he meant to me.
"Ni can we talk please I hate seeing you like this."
"What is there there to talk about I saw you with him thats all that matters. My hope for us ever being together was crushed I should have already known that we wouldn't be anything."
"Listen Niall let me explain myself please before you jump ahead. I thought you would be over me by now its been almost and year if I hurt you that much than go out don't stay in this room all day. Zayn told me you haven't been eating, for fuck sakes this is not you please Josh and I haven't even made it anything more. Truth be told I don't know whatI feel right now."
"For crying out fucking loud Taylor I love you since the first time Jocelyn introduced you to me, can't you just get that in your head! You seemed yo brush it off for once can you not and look how much I love you, spending sleepless nights ove you waiting for so long for you to notice that. One of these days I am going to get over you because you deny everything between us." Come to think about it, its, 100% true I do deny everything that happens to us so many thoughts come to mind almost like a bunch of busy bees. My thoughts were stopped byt Niall's lips on min the kiss was sweet, gentle, but also very wanting. My hands got lost in his hair, his hands wondered my body, why, why didn't I pull away I gave in not denying my feeling for him any longer. Our lips never parted as we moved to the bed his hands guiding me to lie down, I know what he was doing but I wanted to give my body and all of my love to him.