1. Chapter One
Everyday is the same. I get up, I walk to Starbucks, I get my usual morning coffee, I go to work, I come home, I write and then I eventually end up sitting up by the window of my over-priced London apartment, looking down on the busy streets. Sipping my tea quietly, thinking of you.
My name is Felicity Edwards. I was raised in Doncaster and I lived there all my childhood until my nineteenth birthday when I decided to move into London and start my career as a writer. Although that hasn't happened so smoothly. I am now 21 and working as a waitress in a local all-day restaurant. I work nine hour shifts to be able to pay bills and rent. I meet up every Saturday night at my close friend Holly's house for dinner and to talk about everything while we sip on our wines, bottle after bottle. Holly is a great friend, she knows all there is to know about me. She would be classed as my best friend, but no-one can better the friendship I once had.
"I'm auditioning for Xfactor Lissy!" Louis told me over the phone, I could hear the excitement in his voice. "Really! You should go for it Lou!" I told him back happily. Ever since I was younger he'd been singing to me. His voice was so soothing and angelic, It would send me off to sleep in minutes. "I'm going to make it.. This is my shot, what I've been waiting for!" He said determined. "You're right, this is your shot. I can't wait to watch you on tv!" I replied. "You'll come to the audition right?" Louis asked me. "Of course!" I replied. "Great! Because it's tomorrow.. Bye Lissy!" Louis said cheekily. "Tomorro-" I said shocked but Louis had already hung up before I could change my mind. But either way, I would have cancelled my plans. I wasn't going to miss this for the world.
I sat in the audience and watched as he got voted off. My heart broke. I looked at his face, the pain and disappointment was unbearable. As soon as he left the stage I ran through backstage looking for him. I found him in Jay's arms, like I had seen happen many times when he would get fall off his bike or fall from a tree as a child. I walked up slowly and I saw Jay whisper something, looking towards me. Louis turned around, his face emotionless and empty. I froze for a moment. I had never seen him look that upset before. I quickly snapped back to reality and pulled him into my arms, I held him close and his hands gripped my over-sized knitted sweatshirt tightly. I felt a tear escape my eye. And it was alot for me to cry. But I loved this boy... And it was in that moment that I realised I loved him as more than my best friend. I truly loved him. The moment we shared was infinite. We stayed close in each others arms, and neither of us we're willing to let go. "Louis!" I heard a familiar female voice call. It was Hannah. Louis' girlfriend. He pulled away and without glancing at me he rushed over to Hannah and hugged her closely. I stood away, feeling somehow hurt and envious. And when I saw them kiss, my eyes burned. I bit my lip to choke back the tears and ran, I ran out of the building all the way to my car. I drove home, my favourite band The fray automatically began playing loudly in the car. Each song reminded me of Louis which I would have usually loved, but not so much right now. I turned off the radio and let the sound of the heavy rain pelting against the roof of my car, surround my thoughts. It wasn't really working though. The feeling that was circling my body quicker than blood was over powering. Love, Hate, Jealousy, Lust.. All I really knew was that I was afraid to feel the way I did.