"What are you going to do?" Holly finally asked as she drove me to the local doctors to get the recent news confirmed. "I mean, if you are pregnant.."
"I.. I have no idea.." I said quietly. I hadn't had much time to think this through. As soon as we read that the test was positive, Holly had me dressed and in her car within ten brief minutes.
Holly reached her free hand over to me and grasped my hand tightly. "It'll be alright, we can sort this out.." She said supportively. I weakly smiled in response.
"My friend is here for a pregnancy test.." Holly said politely to the woman behind the desk. The women nodded kindly, before asking me my details.
"You can come on through, I'll get a nurse for you.." The woman replied. We followed her through a long hallways with many doors leading off it. The woman entered a room leaving the door wide open for Holly and myself to enter.
"This young lady would like a pregnancy test," The women from the desk told the nurse. "Alright, I'll go get it.." The nurse replied, both her and the woman from the desk leaving the room.
"I'm scared." I said.
"There's still a chance that you're not.." Holly said placing her hand on my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.
"A one in a million chance.." I added coldly. Holly moved her hand from my shoulder down to my hand supportively.
"Here you are," The nurse said, entering the room with a small box in her hand. "You know the drill right?" She asked. I nodded and the nurse then handed me the box with a smile. "The restroom is just down the hall of your left..". I thanked her before hesitantly leaving the room. I already knew my chances.
After about five minutes the nurse came back into the room. "The test came back positive." She declared.
I closed my eyes tightly, letting my head fall to my hands. Holly tried to soothe me by rubbing small circles in my back but it wasn't really calming me much. I couldn't cry, I couldn't even move. I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm knocked up and there is two possible fathers. I almost forgot about the nurses existence before she spoke up, clearing my thoughts for a moment.
"So, what would you like to do Miss Edwards?"
I looked at her and then to Holly, she was looking at me seriously. "I- I don't know what I'm going to do.." I said quietly, now looking down to my feet.
"Well there is two options for now, I'm sure you'd be aware. Abortion or keeping your baby." She added.
'Your baby' I shuddered a little. I don't want a baby at twenty-one. I want to keep working, keep trying to get my books published. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be with a infant in the mix.
I quickly thought back to this moment. "I- I need to think about it." I stuttered.
"And that's perfectly fine. You have up to five weeks to make the decision," The nurse told me kindly.
I relaxed a little, five weeks. That should be enough time.. I was expecting a few days.
"Okay. Thanks.." I said.
The nurse smiled at me and led me and Holly, hand-in-hand back to the reception.
"Good luck," The nurse said sweetly. I think she knew my distraught, but it probably wasn't difficult to pick up on.
I smiled weakly in response before turning around and heading out the exit, back to Holly's car.
"Well shit." Holly said, shaking her head in disbelief as she drove away from the doctors.
"What am I going to do." I said.
Holly's silence was confirmation that she was a lost and unsure as me right now.
"Hi love," My Mum sung out as I approached the front door to my old childhood home.
"Hi Mum," I said sweetly in response.
It had been over two weeks since that visit to the doctors that confirmed I was expecting and I had to tell my Mum so I drove down to my hometown to visit her. She always knew what to do, although I was afraid of how she was going to react. She'd either be calm and understanding or shout and lecture me about unprotected sex and what not.
"Things sounded pretty serious when you called me, what's going on?" My Mum asked me, clearly concerned as she placed a hot mug of tea in front of me on the breakfast table.
I took a deep breath in.
"Promise me you won't freak out.. Or say a word until I finish... Just hear me out.." I said nervously.
"..Promise." She said worriedly.
"I went to the doctor's a couple weeks ago, and I found out some news.."
"I'm... I'm pregnant." I shot out. Immediately searching for my Mother's expression. She looked completely shocked. She pursed her lips together tightly before sipping on her tea. I took that as a queue to continue.
"I didn't mean for it to happen. I had been drinking, and I wasn't thinking straight. I thought I had taken my birth control that morning but I mustn't have. I.. I don't know what to do Mum," I said, my hands starting to tremble. Whenever I let myself think about it I got worked up. And talking about it to my Mother wasn't much easier.
"Is.. Is that all?" My Mum quickly asked. Her voice was quiet and patient. Almost calming. Maybe she would be understanding after all.
"Well.. Not exactly.." I started. Unsure of how her response is going to be on this part.
"Matthew, he doesn't know.."
My Mum's eyes widened. "What?" She asked, clearly confused. "Why haven't you told him? He was the one who got you knocked up!" She added.
"It's not like that.. Mum, you promised you wouldn't say anything till I had finished, remember?" I reminded her of our deal not too long ago.
"Yeah.. Sorry.." She whispered, taking another sip of her tea. As if to calm herself.
I clenched my eyes shut tightly. Preparing myself to say what was inevitable.
"There is a possibility... That... It might not be his." I said, my eyes still closed.
I heard my Mother's breathing deepen.
"It.. It could be Louis'." I finished. I opened my eyes, searching over my Mum's face.
"Well, then." She said in disbelief.
"I know that's alot to take in, but I really need your help. I don't know what I'm going to do.."
My Mum nodded, she stood up, took my hands into her own. Pulled my out of the chair and turned me to face directly infront of her. She looked at my belly. Searching for signs of a bump. "So you're not very far along then.." She whispered.
"Almost five weeks," I said quietly.
She nodded and then to my surprise, she pulled me in for a tight, comforting hug. She stroked my back like she used to when I was younger. It calmed me dramatically. She understood.
"We will sort this out. It'll be okay, whatever happens.." She whispered.
I nodded and rested my chin on her shoulder.