Finley Abbott and Liam Payne were inseparable since they were little kids. Fast forward to 2012- as they finally meet again. This time, Liam and his bandmates are internationally famous and tour worldwide.
Finley thinks she's got all of Liam's mates figured out, all except one. Zayn Malik.


14. so that's what that is.



   There was swift rapping at my window. With a sigh, I got up from my bed, throwing the covers off. I plodded gently to the window, brushing the curtains aside. I stopped myself from sighing. Of course it was. I leant out and eyed him in the moonlight.


   “I need to come in,” he gulped, perching on his toes, his fingers clinging to the edge of the window sill. “Please.”

   He had the nerve to show up here after what he’d done? My eyes narrowed slightly, as he swallowed again, running his hand over his forehead. He looked like he had erupted in a cold sweat.

   “Look Finley I know you’re still pissed at me,” he said, craning upwards to edge closer. “But I…I-I need you.” I stared in those golden eyes for a split second, before I sighed again.

   “Fine,” I muttered, pulling the window up quietly as possible and stepping back. He scrambled up, hoisting himself up through the gap head first, and swinging his legs around like he normally did.

   With a subdued thud, he landed on the floor of my bedroom. Good to know he was still uncoordinated as ever. I side-stepped him as he shakily stood, and shut the window, pulling the curtains back shut.

   “What do you need?” I sighed, turning around. I nearly started, finding his face right in mine, his lips parted as he moved forward. “Wh- what the hell do you think you’re doing?” I jerked backwards, my legs colliding into my nightstand, and I leant back in slight shock.

   “Finley, I just-” he started, but I held my hand up sternly.

   “No, you can’t do this to me Zayn,” I said sharply. “You can’t come here and expect to do whatever the hell you do with those other girls.” His eyes flashed in the darkness as he moved closer but stopped, resting just between my legs.

   “I just can’t…” he tried weakly, stopping. He leant down, rubbing his temples with his thumb and forefinger. “I thought I…” He took in a heavy, shuddering breath. I sighed, my hand resting on his chest to stop him from coming any closer.

   “Tell me what happened,” I said calmly. He looked up, his tired eyes boring into mine. I forced myself to meet their gaze.

   “I went to a party down at my friend’s house,” he explained in a hoarse voice. “Everything was alright. Until they…someone was passing around- a, a joint.” I felt my eyes widen in reproach. He sighed, moving away and sitting down onto my bed.

   He looked down at his bed, fingers knotted tightly together. Slowly, I sat down next to him. Not too close.

   “Did you take it?”

   “I…I held it,” he replied, holding his hands up as though he could see it. “It was there in my hands and I was thinking of all the times I got high and had the craziest nights.” I leant back in horror.

   “You had some.” He craned his neck and stared at the ceiling, before shaking his head.

   “No, I didn’t,” he said in a tiny voice. I blinked in confusion.

   “Wait, what? You didn’t have any?” He shook his head.

   “It was gone,” he said in a meek tone, “I was holding the joint one moment…and then I wasn’t. Then I started feeling feverish, and sick and I didn’t know what to do and…”

   “Shh, calm down,” I said, placing a cautionary hand on his chest. I had rarely seen him so panicked and uncontrollable. Usually he was cool, passive Zayn who just didn’t a crap at all. I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly, brushing distractedly at his forehead again. “Is that why you came?”

   He nodded quickly.

   “I just needed somebody to talk to,” he breathed, rubbing his hands along his thighs aggravatedly, “And I thought…you’d understand.” He looked at me expectantly as I looked back with an uncertain raised eyebrow.

   “Well I’m pretty sure you didn’t think I’d understand when you told me to fuck off and get my own life,” I retorted. He stared at his hands as I waited for a response. None came. “Seriously? That’s how it’s gonna be? You expect me to just sit here and listen to your issues that you can’t even face yourself whilst you constantly throw everything in my face when I try to help? You…you won’t even say sorry?”

   “I’m sorry, alright?” he demanded, with an angry sounding sigh and not sounding particularly sorry at all. “I’m sorry for telling you it was none of your business, but it’s not!”

   “Then what the hell is this?” I snapped, gesturing between us. He shrugged. Oh my god, I swear he was bipolar. I shot to my feet, feeling anger flare in my belly. “Alright. Fine. Get out, now. Out!” He looked at me in surprise.

   “But I-”

   “I don’t care, just get out!” I snarled, pointing out the window. “Do you want me to call for Liam and see how he takes it when he finds out you’ve been paying me night visits?” Zayn’s mouth hung open.

   “Look, I said I was sorry,” he tried, but I stomped over to the window, leaning down and jerking it open violently, not caring about keeping quiet anymore. “Fin-”

   “OUT!” I shrieked, turning back to face him.

   “Finley, just let me explain!” he said in a hushed whisper, not budging from he sat.

   “I don’t want to hear it,” I cut across him, marching over and grabbing his hand. “You can’t come here anymore.”

   He bit his lip, before he unexpectedly yanked me closer to him. I let out a stifled shriek, as I was pulled onto his lap. My eyes flickered to his for a moment, before I forced myself out of his grasp.

   “Fin, please-”

   “I’m serious,” I said in a cracking voice as I backed away. “Zayn, you’ve got to go.” He looked at me with a desperately crushing expression. I felt like part of my chest had been compressed.

   “Why are you so afraid?” he asked quietly, and I gulped.

   “I’m not afraid.”

   “Every time I come close, you push me away.”

   “No,” I said shortly, “You’re the one pushing me away. All I’ve been doing is trying to help, but every single time you don’t fail to lose your head and blame me for your problems. All I wanted was to help.”

   “But…why?” he asked, staring at me deeply with those probing eyes. “Why the hell do I matter to you?” My mouth hung open, not quite sure how to respond to such a question.


   “Finley,” he said gently, as he stood up. He approached me slowly, as I pressed myself against the dresser. “Don’t push me away.”

   “I’m…I’m not,” I stuttered pathetically, as he closed in. His hands rested innocently on my hips, both of our heads dipped. Oh god he was so close right now, I could almost-

   “I found it,” he whispered, leaning back in slight awe. I frowned.

   “Found what?”

   “Your only flaw,” he replied, cocking his head as he stared into his eyes. “You don’t trust anybody else. Not with what’s…” He raised one of his hands and gently reached to the dipping neckline of my t-shirt. He flattened his palm against my chest, right against my heart. “Right here.”

   My breath caught in my chest momentarily, the feeling of his skin pressed hot against mine.

   “You can’t…” I began lamely.

   “Can’t what?” he asked, “Can’t try? Try to meet your ridiculous expectations of being everything you want in a guy? A real man?” I stared at him incredulously.

   “When did I ever say I wanted you?” I demanded quietly and he smirked.

   “You don’t have to say a word,” he said, leaning in. I shook my head, pressing my lips tightly together. He pulled back warily. “No?” I shook my head tightly.

   “I don’t trust myself.”

   “I doubt it.”

   “I don’t trust you,” I added, swallowing. I could smell his scent, feel the warmth of his skin. Oh this was not healthy for me.

   “Understandable.” He was still staring fixatedly at me, before he took his hand resting over my heart away. My skin felt cold and exposed. Instead, he brushed my hair behind my ear. “I’m a terrible excuse of a human being.”

   “I know,” I replied, biting my lip. He looked at me expectantly.


   “But it doesn’t matter,” I blurted, finally meeting his gaze. “I thought when I first met you that, I don’t know. Maybe you were right, about me wanting for you to be my charity project.”

   “You still do,” he shot back hotly. “I’m not damaged. And I don’t need to be fixed.”

   That was it. He was definitely bipolar. Hadn’t he been saying a couple of minutes ago that he was a terrible person in general? But now, he didn’t want my kindness or sympathy, that he didn’t need to be fixed? I shook my head again.

   “I’ll never understand you.”

   “Finley,” he said softly, his hand cupping my cheek and making me look at him in the eye. “Babe, you don’t have to.” I bit my lip hesitantly and he made a noise in the back of his throat. Then he was leaning in, and my eyes fluttered shut expectantly.

   A sharp bang brought us apart. I started violently, immediately stumbling back onto my bed and Zayn pressed himself up against the dresser on the other side of the room. We were completely silent, not even daring to breathe.

   “Fin?” came Liam’s weary voice from just down the corridor. “Finley?”

   “Shit,” Zayn muttered, flying to the window immediately. We could hear him shuffling slowly towards my bedroom as I jumped up and tried to help him. We got the window open just in time, and I practically had to shove him out of it and throw myself into bed just as the door clicked and opened slowly.

   Liam was standing there, rubbing his eyes wearily, his short hair all messed up. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. Then he looked around expectantly, before shuffling over to the open window. I felt my heart leap as he stuck his head out of it, looking around. Apparently not spotting Zayn, he ducked back in and closed the window.

   He drew the curtains shut and shuffled back out, closing the door behind him. Somehow, the gesture of looking out for me made me feel so much better; looked after and protected. All the same, the fact that I’d been hiding Zayn’s secret visits only made me feel even more guilty.

   Still as soon as I heard Liam close the door back to his own room, I jumped up quietly as possible from my bed and immediately went to the window. Zayn was crouching underneath it, and he straightened up as I reopened it again.

   “He’s awake,” I whispered, “You’ve gotta go.” The sad look he gave me sort of made me feel like I’d just stabbed a puppy. I started to shut the window, when he stood up on his tiptoes and whispered fervently,

   “Wait, Finley!”

   I turned back expectantly.

   “What?” He reached up, cupping the back of my neck, bringing my lips crashing down onto his. Our lips brushing timidly against each other for the first time. Then they were touching, caressing, feeling each other out. Suddenly the kiss became anything but gentle- full of fire and warmth.

   I forced myself to pull away because I might topple out of the window from  the enthusiasm of it all.

   “Now I can sleep,” he said quietly, looking at me with a small smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

   “Really?” I asked, a little surprised.

   “Ever since I saw you sitting on the rooftop with your blanket and hot chocolate,” he replied. “And you sang that song.” I stared at him, taking that information in. I had no idea he even liked me like that. This night made my head ache and made me feel all jittery inside at the same time.

   “Go home Zayn,” I said, suppressing a smile. He just beamed up at me- yeah, he beamed, and walked down the driveway, swaggering a little like he was all cool.

   I slid the window shut and sat down carefully on my bed, as though moving too fast might shatter this dream and I’d be forced back into reality. I was just in shock of it all. I lay down, hugging my blanket around me. Delicately, I brushed my fingers of my mouth to find them curled in a smile.

   Zayn Malik had been on these lips.




A/N hey guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter! as you can see it was THE chapter so YAY. FINALLY. DONE. ....or is it? O.o JK it's not finished in fact its FAR from finished. just a forewarning as well, chapters further on get more dirty and you know, more MA rated sort of things so keep that in mind and read at your own risk.

ALSO please comment/like/favourite, they're all appreciated so much! much love bebsicles xx



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