Closed Eyes

Rose remembers nothing of her past lives. It isn't usual for people of the Memoir tribe to come into being without a past life but Rose doesn't seem to have one... Or so she thinks...

In dimension 51 Somnium's inhabitants are beings made from the remains of the deceased from Earth. Each created to be the age they were when their former selves were their happiest the memories of their past selves remain in their beings from creation till death their personality, and such already manifested thanks to their past selves. Whilst memories and such are created in the duplicates of their past selves, their appearances are strikingly different. Longer limbs and sometimes dis-figuration is common in those not created in the planet's core facilities.

Rose was made from the planet's core facilities. Number 93 765 234th to be exact. But unlike the others she has no idea who she is... Who her past was... Why she is alive. By default she is a failure. But thanks to kindness is kept to find herself.

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5. Truth

I look at Penny as she eats across from me. Her hair is coiled in the most elaborate hairstyle I have ever seen (or at least remember seeing.) Her eyes sparkle as she chatters about the new children, and her laughter is contagious as she makes the most off-handed jokes. After a while I feel her relax to the point where she is so off guard, I can't help but wonder how she arrived in the dimension.

"Penny," I speak up finally. Her eyes flit up to mine almost in an alerted fashion. I smile calmly causing her to do so also.

"I've been remembering times of my past... My life with Ryan." I told her gently. Reaching out, I barely noticed the tremors in my hands since I could see the tremors in her own as she clutched my hands tight.

"Rose, my love, you don't have to remember the past if you don't want to!" she assures me her eyes wide with an alertness that seems to be increasing as time continues to pass.

"I don't seem to have a choice," I smile tiredly. Laughter breaks the pregnant silence, and I turn to see the twins playing beneath the tree all smiles, and giggles as they kick a ball to one another.

"I have, though, been wondering if I was a terrible person in my past life." I said, turning my attention back to Penny.

 

I watched as her eyes widened, tears filling them before she began to shake her head furiously.

"No, no, Rose. You were perfect, an angel - trust me." She says, getting up before she makes her way around the table to embrace me in a hug so tight I can feel my ribs contract.

"Did you know me, back then Penny?" I ask, as she pulls away. I watch her shake her head as she takes a shaky breath, her smile is tight telling me she's lying, even as she my hair behind my ears. Her smile never leaving her face.

"No, I didn't." She says.

*     *     *     *    *

Walking towards my room I decide to take a detour to visit Ryan and ask him about Penny, myself. Stopping outside the doctors wards, I stop to see him talking to a woman. Strikingly beautiful, her long, copper hair shines in the blue light, her eyes sparkling as she touches his arm, an angelic laugh leaving her lips as she converses with my husband.

"He isn't yours, you can't just dibs claim on him." I scold myself, as I try to ignore the jealousy tugging on my heart. I watch his face... His eyes don't seem to sparkle but they don't sparkle when he talks to me either... Or even in my memory flashes...

"Except for your anniversary." I pause for a moment in thought.

"Rose?" I hear someone call out. Looking up I see he has spotted me, and what the woman's eyes narrow on me instantly. I shrink instinctively, as they head towards me. Ryan first, the woman struggling to keep on his heels.

 

"Rose!" A laugh erupts from behind me, I turn to see the twins and their beaming faces as they throw their arms around my legs. Surprise is soon followed curiosity as a wave of nostalgia passes through me. My hands thread through their silky hair as they hug me tight. I have barely spoken a word to the two of them yet they have, for some unknown reason, chosen to befriend me it seems. Crouching to their height I find myself opening my arms for them, and as they hug me and I close my eyes I feel a final piece shift into place...

 

"Mummy!" I watch Delilah laughing as she runs around in circles in the kitchen. I smile at her as I scrub at a one of the plates in the sink.

"You're very fast, aren't you?" I ask as she falls on her bottom before she starts laughing, her piercing green eyes sparkle as she beams up at me with all the joy in the world.

"Yes! Fast! Me, fast!" she beams up at me, as she picks herself right up again, and starts running around once more. I turn my attention back to the dishes, before hearing the front door open.

"I'm home!" Ryan's voice calls out.

"Dada!" Delilah squeals with excitement. I turn to see him carrying a large box of groceries, and quickly dry my hands. Going and unlocking the child gate I let him through before shutting it and heading back to the dishes.

"If you're going back out to grab more stuff shut the front door because the gate is broken, and if she pushes hard enough she can get through." I warn him, as I go back to the dishes scrubbing furiously.

"Yeah, yeah - I know." Ryan says as he sets down the box presses a kiss on my cheek and heads back out, the sounds from outside drowning out any of the peace and quiet we'd had before Ryan returned home.

 

Rinsing the plate, I turn back to glance at Delilah... She isn't there. I drop the plate and look around.

"Delilah, honey?" I call out, looking around the corner of the kitchen to see nothing. Grabbing a tea towel, I look at the child safety gate, and feel my heart stop. It's open. Tears blur my vision as I burst through the gate, and out the open front door.

"Delilah!" I call, see her on the road just for a moment before it happens. The car comes too fast, and the scream that tears from my body is so blood curdling I can feel my own blood stop as I see her get hit.

"No...!" I scream... Wanting, praying that my baby will be alright. I run out onto the road to see her on ground the car has stopped and the driver is getting out but it's too late. It's all too late.

I run, and fall at my knees beside her my hands shaking as I reach down to touch her flawless cheeks the blood that smears the sides of her head staining my hands as I look into her lifeless eyes. The cry that escapes me rips my heart from my chest, as I wring my hands through my hair leaning forward to huddle over my baby's body.

"Rose!" Ryan calls out. I can't even turn around. It's too late... What was my everything is gone.

I hear him cry, and shout, but my mind won't process anything except for the the last few moments we had together. The forever we were meant to have together.

 

Tears stain my cheeks, and I look up to see Ryan staring into my eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I whisper, feeling my heart break all over again. Looking down at the children in my arms I take in their wide eyes, and bright smiles. Now I know what is missing...

"And I don't think I can take it." I shut my eyes slowly.

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