Closed Eyes

Rose remembers nothing of her past lives. It isn't usual for people of the Memoir tribe to come into being without a past life but Rose doesn't seem to have one... Or so she thinks...

In dimension 51 Somnium's inhabitants are beings made from the remains of the deceased from Earth. Each created to be the age they were when their former selves were their happiest the memories of their past selves remain in their beings from creation till death their personality, and such already manifested thanks to their past selves. Whilst memories and such are created in the duplicates of their past selves, their appearances are strikingly different. Longer limbs and sometimes dis-figuration is common in those not created in the planet's core facilities.

Rose was made from the planet's core facilities. Number 93 765 234th to be exact. But unlike the others she has no idea who she is... Who her past was... Why she is alive. By default she is a failure. But thanks to kindness is kept to find herself.

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2. Confusion

"You and Ryan were family in your past lifetime," Penny tells me gently as she pushes my hair back from my wet face. I'm drenched in sweat. It's as gross as it sounds, but to be quite honest I don't care. I can't get his face out of my head.

"We were going to wean you into meeting him but I guess that didn't happen." Penny's voice cracks, and I see her grimace slightly. She sounds like she's talking about weaning a kitten off his mothers milk. How I know, that I do not know.

"I knew him," My voice is gentle as always but for the first time I hear something strange that I hadn't ever heard before in it. Confusion.

"I saw him. Like a flash... And I suddenly knew how we met." I let her know. The smile that spread across her face completely rid Penny's face of the worry lines she's come accustomed to have from spending time with me. I was in a cosy bedroom with a large bed and window (the walls brick this time.) Remembering the first time she'd brought me into this room and how we were now kind of instilled the fact that Penny was some kind of benefactor of mine... She wanted to take care of me. I loved her for it.

"That's wonderful honey. Anything else?" She asked gently her eyes sparkling as she sat up a little straighter, she pushed back a stray strand of grey hair from her face but I shook my head.

"Nope, that was it." I admitted.

"That's okay honey, don't push it. Just relax..." She began to chatter away again as she got up and straightened the sheets over me.

"When you're up for it take a bath or something. I'll go down and make sure there's something organized to be sent to you for dinner. You okay with that?" She asked. I nodded as she walked to the door and opened it before leaving and closing it.


I lie there... Like the tree sits in the centre garden I feel like I'm literally planted into my bed. Reasons why are singled down to the fact I feel like I can't move an inch. A knock at the door causes me to jump however in shock. Nobody's ever done that before... Knock on my door, that is.

"Don't be silly. Get up and answer it." I chide myself as I push back the covers and move my lead legs over to the door. It opens as I place my palm against the glass and my eyes meet Ryan's just as they did a few days ago. Thankfully this time, I don't faint. He smiles cautiously. Like he knows something or some things that I don't... Which is probably true.

"His not broken like me." I move to sit on the edge of my bed as he goes to sit on the edge of the reading chair beside the window. He leans forward his elbows balanced on his legs, his fingers laced and his head bowed slightly as if his praying. I may not have my memories but I'm certain his not religious. If he was he would have given it up by now.

"I don't know you," I blurt out suddenly. He looks up startled, and for a moment I'm certain my own facial expression matches his. I hadn't meant to blurt that out... Oh, well.

"I only saw when we met and that was it. Nothing more." I keep my voice as steady as possible as I decipher his face.

"Well that's impossible," I hold my breath as he sits up to run a hand through his hair.

"His too good looking it's distracting." I take in the chiseled jawline, straight nose and perfect brow. His shoulders roll back as he seems to prepare himself to say something that I'm guessing will either shake me or shock me.

"We were happy together," His voice is seemingly emotionless. Calm. Like mine used to be before I had my first flashback. But I know his hiding something... I can hear it... See it.

"When you remember. Find me." He gets up and I note the firmness of his clenched door as he seems to force himself to leave the room. I get up and watch him walk away. His down the end of the hall before he glances back. It's enough. I place my hand on the glass and it slides shut...

 

"It's our third year anniversary. I want to take you out to dinner," He grins down at me knowing that I'm blushing like a preschooler after having her first kiss behind my hands. His hands cup my shoulders.

"Pizza then a movie. That's it." He wagers me into admission. I nod and fling my arms around him as I laugh and give him a hug. His arms encase me before he lifts me up and spins me around. My eyes close as I smile so hard my cheeks hurt, but I don't care. He loves me. He still hasn't said it yet after three years but deep down I know he does. Just like he probably knows I love him back. Neither of us has said it because we're both stubborn. It's hard being with someone like that sometimes because you doubt, but it's true. We're in love. He sets me down with a kiss to the forehead as he links his fingers through mine and leads me down the road to my parents place. It's the same after every day of college. We meet up, he drives me home, walks me home... Then he goes home. I'm twenty-one and I'm starting to wonder if we're ever going to talk about what comes after this... College. Dating. Will we get married? Have a family? I feel a tightening in my chest and I know I care too much. Much more than I thought I did, anyway. It doesn't matter though as I look up at Ryan and wonder how I got so lucky.

"Next year it's tacos." I announce just in time to see his eyes to fly to mine, a grin already on his face.

 

My eyes open and I'm breathing steadily. I drop my hand from the door and head to the shower. Opening the door to the bathroom I step inside before following Penny's instructions... I really wanted to get Ryan out of my mind.

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