Can We Fall One More Time

My names Erin Carter. I have a two year old son named Ricky, I big brother named Jacob, and a best friend named Alexandria Jones. If you're wondering who the father is, it's Harry Styles. Yes, THE Harry Styles from One direction. I hate him. I want nothing to do with him anymore. But what if I fall for a certain member of the band and I'm forced to see my used to be one true love? The one who saved me from horrible people and stopped me from doing terrible things to myself. Can I fall for him again? I guess you'll have to read and find out

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16. Chapter 16

Erin POV

I cried so much. The nurses came in the room and covered my dad and took him away. Others came to check up on Anna. I sat in Harry's lap with my arms wrapped around his neck. I watched as Anna held her baby boy. She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes.

"Erin..I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you're feelings." I nodded my head. She looked down at Trey. I stopped sobbing but the tears were still rolling down. She looked back at me, "Wanna hold him?"

I nodded my head as I began to smile. I walked over to her and picked up the little baby. My smile grew bigger. More tears started coming down but these were happy tears.

"Erin...you alright." I looked back at her. "Yea..." I sniffled, "I'm fine. I was just remembering the happiest moment of my life. I remember holding Ricky in my arms for the first time. I remember having the feeling that all of the things that I went through didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was my baby boy and making him happy. Being the best mom that I possible could. that's how you feel right now don't you?"

She nodded her head and tears started to roll down her face too. I looked down at Trey and his eyes began to open. I smiled widely. "hi beautiful baby. You are so cute. We all love you so much already and you just got here," i chuckled and so did everyone else. "I'm sorry my dad wasn't here to see you. He loves you too. And so does your own dad. Don't worry, he's on his way. You weren't expected for another 2 weeks. "

Trey just smiled at me. No one understood the pain I was going through. But this baby, brought a smile to my face. Ricky is back at my old house with Anjali. I wanted to see him too. I gave Trey back to Anna walked out into the hall.

I broke down in tears again. I remember 2 years ago how I was wishing that my parents were there when I was giving birth. I wanted to see my dad so much. I wanted him to just burst through the door. I knew they wouldn't but when I held Ricky, everything went away. It was only me and him.

Yes, i still wanted my parents there. I'm guessing that's how Anna feels right now. But later on, her parents are gonna see her. Especially her dad. She is such a daddy's girl. But so was I.

I can't shake the feeling of never being able to talk to him or see him again. It pains me to feel that way. I'm only 18 and I've spent the last 3 years without my parents. Now i have to spend the rest of my life without my dad.

I kept crying and Harry came out. He saw me and picked me up and rocked me back and forth while stroking my hair.

"Shhh....everything is gonna be alright," he cooed. "No its not!!!i'm never gonna see my dad again. Ever!!!" I cried.

"Erin, we'll get through this...together. You won't be alone. I promise you. I am here for you." I nodded my head and we stayed silent.

The only noise you could hear was my sniffles. Harry thought it was best if we left the hospital. We said bye to everyone and drove back to his flat in London. I wanted to just be alone with him. 

We went inside and I pulled him upstairs into his bedroom.

I closed the door and pushed him onto the bed, I climbed on top of his and started to kiss him roughly. He moaned loudly. His arms traveled all over my body as mine were tangled in his curls. It felt so good to kiss him like this. I felt better and happier,

I opened my mouth as he brought his tongue in. We played with mine for a bit. My hands found its way back down to his shirt and I started to unbutton it.

That's when he stopped it all. "Erin stop. I want this so badly but I'm not gonna take advantage of you." "Take advantage of me. I don't care. I want you. I need you," I pleaded.

He looked at me with sad eyes, "I cant Erin." Yes you can. I miss you. I miss this. Making sweet, passionate love. I love you so much. Make love to me. Take away my pain. Please.." 

He sighed, "Erin...i miss this and you too. I love you too. I wish I could have you right now. I want you every second of everyday, but I cant. This would be the first time we do it after not being together for so long. I'm not gonna do it like this. You need comfort right now. I'm gonna help you."

He pulled me closer to his chest that was half open due to the fact that I unbuttoned his shirt. I got up and took of my shirt and pants so I was left in my lace bra and underwear.

Harry starred at me with complete lust in his eyes. I smiled at him and crawled back into bed. I cuddled into him and nuzzled my head into his neck. He took his shirt off and put it on me. 

"I don't need you teasing me," he smiled. I laughed and lied my head back down on him. We lied together in silence for a couple of minutes.

I looked at him with tears in my eyes.  "Harry?" "What's wrong love?" He was really concerned. "Harry...I just got my dad back....and I lost him. I have you again. I don't wanna lose you. Please...don't leave me. Don't leave ever again. I was broken when you left. I don't wanna be broken anymore. I just want you."

He looked at me with guilt. "I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much. When i left, I never stopped thinking about you. I was mess. I promise you I won't ever leave you like that again." I kissed her forehead.

"Erin?" "mhm?" "will you please be my girlfriend again? I love you too much to not be have you as mine." I looked at him with a big smile on my face. "yes. I love you too." He smiled back.

We just made out the entire time before he finally fell asleep.

We woke up the next morning. "Morning beautiful," Harry told me. "Morning" I got up and gave him a kiss.

We got off the bed and I took a shower. When I was done, he went. We get ready for the day and headed to my parents house. That's where everyone went.

"Mommy!!! I'm sorry about grandpa. I really love him. Are you ok? I missed you," Ricky jumped in my arms and a tear rolled down his cheek.

I wiped it away and kissed his head. "It's alright baby. Grandpa loves you too. I'm fine and I missed you too. Soooo much." He smiled and kissed my cheek. I put him down and he went over to his dad.

I sat down in the kitchen where everyone was. My mom was still crying. I went to hug her. " I want the funeral to happen quickly  So I was thinking we do it tomorrow." I nodded in agreement. 

I went into the living room to help plan. My mom sat down. Everyone was looking at me. I was confused. So were the boys, Alex, Anjali, and Jake. "I think we should tell her now," Anne said. 

"Tell me what? What's going on?" I said worriedly. My mom sighed, "Erin.....before you came here.....the doctors already told us and your dad that he only had a certain amount of time to live. We all knew when he was gonna die."

I was speechless. "W-what? You all knew he was gonna die and you didn't tell me?!" "Sweetheart listen-" I cut my mom off, "No you listen. He is my dad. How could you keep that from me? On the phone you told me you weren't sure. That was lie. You knew he was gonna die. You all knew."

"We were just trying to protect you Erin. He didn't want you to worry about him." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I tried to calm myself down.

I sat down in Harry's lap and cried. 

THE NEXT DAY

This was it. We were at the funeral home where my dad will be cremated. It was his wish. We held onto Harry's arms and cried in his shoulder. My mom was holding Ricky. After the priest did the ceremony, my mom, Jake, Anne, and Harry spoke. It was now my turn,

I got up there and I made Harry come with me.

"Hello everyone. I know I haven't seen most of you in almost 3 years and it's sad that this is how we're reuniting for the first time. But, no matter how it happened, I am so happy to see everyone here honoring my father. He was such a great man. I love him so much. All he ever did was care for others. he treated everyone with great respect. he treated me like his baby girl. I was and still am his baby girl. I always will be. He protected me and loved me with everything he had. Everyone here knows that the reason why I left England. I got pregnant. But it doesn't matter that mom and dad kicked me out. They did they right thing. I learned so much from it. And I love my son so much. My mom and dad taught me so well and raised me so that I am a great mother to my son. And these past couple of days, Ricky and my dad bonded so much. I know how happy it made him to meet his grandpa. I know how proud my dad was of me. And I am so proud of him too, He went through all of this, He deserves all of the love that we all give him. He's out of his suffering now, and I will miss him so much, He was very important to many of us. He is important to me. It may feel like he's gone, but.....he's not. Before he passed he told me that he'll always be with me. And I believe him. I love him so much and i wish he could be here, but he's in a better place now. He will never be forgotten.....thank you" 

I walked off and cried some more. harry hugged me tightly as we made our way to where he the cremation was happening.

I couldn't watch. I saw them put the casket in. I hid my face as I heard my brother push the button.  I suddenly felt really hot and the walls were closing in. As people mourned for my dad, loud screams and cries escaped their mouths. That was the last thing I heard before.....

 

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