Slash(boyxboy) MA don't hate. Don't like boyxboy action don't read. I knew he was finally sleep and it was safe to open my weary eyes. I took in his masculine but feminine features. His eyelashes were thick, long and looked soft to the touch. His high cheek bones accentuated his straight cut jaw line. Cheeks were still a light pink color from when he blushed before.His shiny light brown hair swept just over his closed eyes.He is the definition of yang. Light, hot, assertive, and fiery while I'm the yin dark, cool, receptive, and moist. Together we make a whole. We are balanced and harmonious around each other. He completes me the yang to my yin. I closed my eyes hoping that he would still be next to me when I woke up.


21. My memories are slowly killing me (chapter 19)

Niall's P.O.V.

      I turned to my left and watched silently as an expression of pure anger made its way onto Josh's face. I shivered and stepped out of his warm embrace. I was scared not only about our predicament, but the face he was making. It reminded me of why I am the way I am now. I felt a prickling sensation on my eye lids.

I tried to hold back the tears as I saw Josh pace back and forth in the corridor. I started to shake violently watching silently on the side lines as a dark expression took over his usually passive demeanor. I started to have flash back of times I promised myself I would never remember. My vision became blurry and my breath became ragged.

Josh looked over at me with an intense hatred in his eyes. I backed away quickly as he approached me menacingly. " You idiot! Why did ya kiss me? This is all your fucking fault." He yelled at me only an inch separating us." "I-I-I-"I stuttered. "You what," he thundered, " You ruined my life that's what you did!" he shoved me hard against the the wall.

This cased my back to arch in pain as my back collided with a picture frame. I whimpered as I felt him grip my shoulder hard and rough. He threw me into a table only 5 feet away. My temple hit the corner of the table. As I gushed blood from my head wound he proceeded to kick me. " God pick a better time to kiss me, or better yet don't ever touch me again!

I can't believe I thought I loved you!" he sneered ruefully. I got up slowly careful not to fall over when Josh pushed me down again. " Leave," he bellowed, "leave now!" I don't know how i managed to leave that apartment in on piece. Is it bad that I wished for him to end it all?I walked limped down the street at 2 o'clock in the morning.

I had no one to turn to except Liam, but as you guys know he was not an option. I didn't know where to go. I cried silently as I passed a bus stop and the hobo who had taken up house and home on the bench laughed at me. " Hey boy, I know you! You're Niall from one direction." He laughed and fell off the bench I continue to limp in the direction of my apartment." Wait up faggot!"

The now obviously drunk man shouted after me as he stumbled. I started to speed up o an extent and soon his shouts died out and I was alone once again. The cold air  nipped violently at my rosy cheeks and exposed arms. I shivered from the pain, the freezing air and fear.
The tears were still streaming down my face warming them momentarily as they made their way down my face.

I thought back to my ex He treated me exactly how Josh treated me today. Why can't anyone love me? Why am I so stupid?
I was pushed out the second story out of our apartments building. I let out a blood curdling scream. The neighbors on the first floor where by my side in an instant.

The sweet old Lady who lived in the apartment under ours cried silently as she held on to my blood covered
hand  as I slowly lost consciousness. The next week I went 'home' and  to my 'adoring' boyfriend. I walked through the door and was pushed into the wall as my lips were attacked  roughly.

It was happening again. He had been drinking again and I
was going to be forced to please him. I was punched in the face and let drop on the floor.He pulled me by my dyed blond hair to the bedroom. I wasn't allowed to have brown hair it made him angry at me. After he was done He fell asleep and pushed me off the bed.

I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I was going to finally end it all. No more suffering. I grabbed my blade and cut 5 deep cuts into my arm and sat on the the cool tile floor. It felt like hours passed and when only fifteen minutes had dragged on by. " NIALL GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!" his voice boomed through the door as he pounded endlessly on it.

The thundering knocks  continued and I started to get dizzy and my eyes started to droop. I woke up in the hospital a month later and I had never been so disappointed and grateful for the old lady that lived under our apartment.
I shuddered at the memory and continued limped into my apartment.

I locked the door and laid on the cold hardwood floor. I'm done and I'm done, I'm fucking done. I walked into the bathroom and filled the tub. I grabbed the pain killers and locked the bathroom door. I grabbed my trusty razor. I slit my arm and popped pill after pill as the water filled the tub. I started to get woozy ans started to let go of my issues. Nothing could stop me now, I was finally ending it, finally.

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