Slash(boyxboy) MA don't hate. Don't like boyxboy action don't read. I knew he was finally sleep and it was safe to open my weary eyes. I took in his masculine but feminine features. His eyelashes were thick, long and looked soft to the touch. His high cheek bones accentuated his straight cut jaw line. Cheeks were still a light pink color from when he blushed before.His shiny light brown hair swept just over his closed eyes.He is the definition of yang. Light, hot, assertive, and fiery while I'm the yin dark, cool, receptive, and moist. Together we make a whole. We are balanced and harmonious around each other. He completes me the yang to my yin. I closed my eyes hoping that he would still be next to me when I woke up.


23. Cry me a river (chapter 21)

Louis P.O.V.

I was awoken by a bright light shaking me violently out of my sleep. I was cuddled into Harry's side, the only place I felt safe. I opened my eyes looked around the room in a daze trying to find the source of the harsh beam. " Lads I have to tell you something..." Josh informed us. I took in his appearance.Patches of what I believed to be blood stained the grass green hoodie he was wearing.

Tear tracks were present on his flushed cheeks. His lips were slightly swollen as if he had kissed someone. His eyes were puffy and red rimmed. His shoes and the bottom portion of his pants were wet. " Niall, Niall's just been taken in to the emergency room." he whispered. I gasped and newly formed tears crawled cautiously down my cheeks. I started to shake again not being able to control my body.

I felt two pairs of strong arms bring me into a warm embrace. I closed my eyes and leaned into the loving touch. " Lou bear, baby, I bet Niall will be just fine." A very husky and might I add sexy voice cooed me. My eyes fluttered open to meet a pair of bright green eyes."I hope so Haz." I mumbled while burring my head into his side. I sniffled and soon I was swallowed into a dark pit of nothingness that was sleep.

I was the first one to wake up the next day. I had to go visit Niall maybe he would be awake by now. I carefully slipped out of my loving boyfriends arms and tiptoed around a sleeping figure on the floor. I opened the door quietly and slipped out of the room unnoticed, hopefully. I shivered as the air conditioning made contact with my skin.

I made my way to the nurses station and politely asked" Excuse me miss, but where may I find Niall Horan?" "He's  in room 993 on the 10Th floor dear." She responded sweetly and I nodded my head thankfully and stepped into the large stainless steal elevator. The minute it took for the elevator to reach the floor felt like years of pain and agony.

Then I finally heard the ding and was happy to escape the clutches of that metal death trap. I skipped down the hallway waving to all the nurses doctors and patients that crossed my way. Each and everyone of them looked at me like I had escaped the mental ward, but I shook them off and giggled to myself. Soon room number 993 was in front of me.

My arm was shaking and my nerves were fried like over cooked chips. I turned the nob to see my pale best friend looking at me through dull blue eyes. He was awake! Tears brimmed my eyes as I timidly walked up to his bed side. He tried to smile, but failed miserably. " H-h-ow are y-ya d-d-doin Niall." I stuttered while sitting down in a near by chair. " Could be better." He sighed, no emotion was present in his once lively voice.

What had happen? " Niall is it okay if......" I stopped talking. Maybe I shouldn't have asked the question. I bit my lip and looked down at my navy blue worn out TOMS. " Yeah Lou it's fine as long as I get to ask you a question first." he demanded quietly." Of course, ask away." I sighed in relief. Wait what did Niall want to know?

" W-who f-f-ound-d m-me?" he stuttered out nervously.I rubbed my sore eyes before responding " Josh found you." With those three words he burst into a torrent of tears. I stood up and walked closer to the bed. I cautiously put my arms around him and he buried his head into my chest. I just stood there holding him hoping that when he calmed down he would be able to explain to me what happened.

Soon his desperate cries died down to a sniffles. " Are you read to tell me?" I inquired softly while letting go of him and pulling the chair close to his bed so I could sit next to him. " Everything," he croaked, " I need to tell someone." And he proceeded to tell me everything. He wasn't Lying when he said it that's for sure.

He told me about how his ex boyfriend abused him both sexually and physically. He told me about how this ex had pushed him out of the second story window. He cried to me about how he had tried to commit suicide once before his recent attempt. He grimanced slightly at how the old lady that lived under their shared flat saved his life countless times. He whispered about how depressed and scared he had been all this time.

Then he just stopped talking mid sentence. " Niall, is that all? I feel like there's something you don't want to tell me." I inquired. It didn't feel like he wasn't telling me something it was more like I knew. He hesitated before continuing. " Lou, I'm sorry I didn't know you were with Harry. Maybe it would be better if he told you." He whispered while hiding his face in a pillow he had in a death grip.

" Niall just tell me it's probably no that bad." I sighed anxiously while my leg bounced violently. " No Seriously, I don't wan to be the one to tell you this. You're going to hate me! I even hate me for what I did." he explained with is face still buried in the pillow. " Just tell me." I snapped as my patience wore thin.

" O-o-o-okay. u-u-um when H-H-Harry c-c-came t-o-o  g-get  m-m-me," He took a deep shaky breath before continuing, " t-t-the day you g-g-guys came O-o-out. We s-s-sorta had s-sex." He stuttered out completely out of breath. Tears brimmed my eyes once again and I suppressed an ear shattering scream. My arms started to shake and my breath became uneven.

" Tell me the rest of the story." I said through gritted teeth. How could he do this to me! All I wanted to do was yell. First he goes and obviously uses Niall who wasn't in his right mind. He CHEATS on me with one of my best friends and co-workers and doesn't have the balls to tell me? I composed myself for Niall's sake and listened to the rest of his story.

He continued to tell me that Logan had caught him and  Josh making out. He shuddered As he told me about the beating he had received from Josh and how he tried to commit suicide. By the end I was crying on with my forehead rested on the edge of Niall's bed. I cried fr all the bad things I didn't know happened to him. I cried for My broken heart and for his.

I cried out of frustration and desperation. I was going to have to end things with Harry. Once I emptied myself of all emotion is told Niall I would be back shortly I was just going to go get him some subway. I mean it was parcialy true. I was just going to end things with that curly haired bastard first.

I sped back quickly into the room where I had slept with all the guys and saw that they were all awake. " Louis where have yo-" Zayn said before I cut him off. " Shut up," I snapped, " Oh and Josh GET THE FUCK OUT NOW! and Harry come with me." all of them were silent at my little outburst. " NOW!" I thundered and all of them sprung into action and soon Harry was at my side trying to grasp my hand in his.

I Shook his hand off and led him out side into the parking lot behind my car. " Harry we are over," I hissed, " I know what you and Niall did. Not even a day after we started dating." I stated to pace around to angry to cry. " B-But L-Lou B-Bea-" before he could finish his sentence I cut him off " Don't ever call me that again." He started to sob and fell on his knees. I scoffed and laughed bitterly " Cry me a river bitch." and jogged to the nearest subway.

Harry's P.O.V.

               I woke up to not find Louis anywhere in the room. I stretched my sore arms up and smacked something hard. " Ow Harry, what the fuck!" Someone bellowed. I flipped over to see Zayn cradling his nose gently in his left hand while pinching the bridge with his right. "Sorry mate," I yawned, " do you know where Louis is?" I said while rolling off of the couch and landing with a thud on the floor.

      " No, but let me ask Josh." I nodded in comprehension. " Hey Josh!" Zayn shouted while still pinching the bridge of his nose. I giggled at the way his voice sounded and he shot a glare my way. " Josh, Wake up!" He shouted again this time picking up a pillow from the floor and nailing Josh in the face. I burst into a fit of laughter and rolled around on the floor. I didn't notice where I was going and rolled too far.

       I rammed into something or may I say someone. The next thing I knew the air was being knocked out of my lungs with great force. I felt pressure on my back and by the groaning of another person, specifically the person on me. I could tell that maybe I should've been more careful where I went. I pushed the person who I soon learned was Zayn off of me and got into a sitting position on the floor and sighed.

      Where could Louis be?  Just as I was about to go and search of him he burst through the door. " Louis where have yo-" Zayn said before Louis cut him off. " Shut up," he snapped, " Oh and Josh GET THE FUCK OUT NOW! And Harry come with me." I was in shock. Why was he in such a bad mood?" NOW!" he thundered and I hopped up and walked next to him and tried to grasp his hand in mine.

     He shook my hand off and led me out side into the parking lot behind his car. " Harry we are over," he hissed, " I know what you and Niall did. Not even a day after we started dating." How did he know about that? It was just a spur of the moment thing. A flood of tears rolled down my light pink cheeks as I tried to suppress my sobs.

       I stuttered out " B-But L-Lou B-Bea-" before I could finish my sentence he cut me off " Don't ever call me that again." I started to sob uncontrollably and fell on my knees. He scoffed and laughed bitterly " Cry me a river bitch." and jogged away. I cried and cried for what seemed like minutes, but was really an hour.

      The late summer sky was clouded over by large cumulus clouds. They fit my mood perfectly. I was emotionally drained and decided that maybe I could go see Liam. Even if he couldn't see or hear me his presence would be comforting. I whipped my face but it did no use . Tears still ran down my face at a rapid pace.

       I sighed in defeat and just pulled my hood up and shook my golden brown locks in my face to hide my red rimmed eyes. I quickly made my way through hospital trying to evade prying eyes. I finally came across Liam's room. My hand trembled as I reached out and grasped the handle tightly. I turned the knob and pushed the sterile white door.

    I took a step inside and took a deep breath. The stench of bleach filed my nose and burned the back of my throat. I winced and cleared my air ways. I took a chair from the corner and sat next to his bed. His once unruly light brown locks were now non-existent. His once lively deep brown eyes were hidden by his pale eyelids. His complexion was ghostly. He almost seemed like a porcelain doll.

   I grabbed his hand and held it between mine. Warm tear drops feel one by one onto his hand. " Liam, I did something foolish." I whispered my voice almost gone. I took a deep breath and regretted it almost instantly,but I continued anyways " I know Niall told you. Did you know he told Louis to?" I laughed robotically. I shook my messy hair out of my face uncovering my disheveled appearance.

"I-I don't even know why I-I did it. I-I wish y-you were here to help me." I managed to breath out in a raspy tone.

* 2 months later*

     That was the last time I talked to any of the lads. From what I know Niall went to a Rehab center and got better. He was a cutter and anorexic. Louis and Niall spent a lot of time together and Louis was as happy as ever. Zayn was living pleasantly with Perrie and Josh, well he's been trying to get me to leave my flat.

      I've been a mess. I cant sleep, I can't eat, I can't even get up and off my bed. The last thing I ate was a bag of stale crisps. I don't deserve to even be here, anywhere. I wish I could just disappeared into thin air. I wish my blood would stop pumping, and my lungs would just give out. My phone rung from next to me and I picked it up and put it to my ear.

     I prepared to hear another speech from Josh how I should get out of my flat and at least attempt to get Louis back. God knows how I've tried. Instead of what I was expecting I heard the worst news. " I regret to inform you that today Mr. Payne will be taken off of Life support at 5:00pm." With this news I stood up quickly. A little too quickly and stumbled into my bathroom.

    I checked my phone for the time. It was 10:00am. I sighed and got into the shower. Every muscle in my body ached and my head pounded. I groaned and finished with my not so regular bathroom routine. I put on some grey sweatpants, my purple Jack Willis hoodie and a pair of black chuck taylors. I searched for my ray bans and fond them by my front door.

    I slipped them onto my paper white face and opened the door. The sun was shining and the birds where merrily chirping. I mentally sighed today was not my day. I slumped against the wall and made sure I had my car keys. I checked all my pockets but I forgot them. I dragged my feet on the blood red carpet covering the floor.

    I called a Taxi as I passed by Niall's flat. I shivered a picked my pace up. I soon found myself at he hospital. The whole trip was a blur. I walked as steadily as I could to Liam's room. I opened the door with a shaking hand and was relieved to see I was the only one in there. I grabbed one of the few blue plastic chairs lining one of the walls and pulled it next to Liam's bed.

    I grasped his now frail hands In my thin and bony ones. Looks like these couple of months didn't only take a toll on Liam. as I got comfortable in my seat I analyzed his condition. His cheeks were hollowed in. His hair had finally grown back but it was a dull brown color. I didn't dare to examined him more due to the fact that I would cry if I did.

     I soon found myself actually sleepy, no exhausted. I fought against the feeling but was pulled into the dark abyss. I dreampt of a better time when all of us were healthy and happy. Where we only needed each other and did everything in our power to not hurt each other. I was awoken by light chatter.

I was thankful that before I was fully knocked out I decided to move the chair out of the way. There were three figures huddled over Liam's bed. I knew who they were without paying close attention to what they looked like. Not only that but You could hear the Irish twang intertwined with the soft Doncaster accent.

        I shivered as the muffled cries of a weeping mother were heard from outside the room. I rubbed my eyes and checked my phone for the time 4:50pm. Wow! I had been asleep for a while. I stretched my sore body and stood up. I smiled slightly when I saw Niall eating a bag of crisps and Louis wearing his red chinos. At least there was some sense of familiarity.

       I looked at the other side of the bed and saw a chair. I raced over and took a seat trying not to make eye contact with the chatty boys in front of me. All conversation stopped and I felt three pairs of eyes on me. Oh yeah I forgot Josh was in the room. I sunk into my seat and took out my phone and played with it.

     At that moment Zayn burst through the room looking like he had just been mugged. He had tears flowing down his tanned cheeks and he quickly placed a necklace around Liam's neck. Soon security was in the room and removed him from the area. I was slightly confused but didn't have time to question the events.

     The doctor walked in and in a monotone voice stated " I am now going to disconnect the machines." He tuned off every machine leaving the heart monitor for last. I gripped Liam's hand in mine and started to sob silently letting my fresh warm tears fall freely onto his hand. A fast paced beeping sound filled the silent room.

    I felt someone squeeze my hand. Liam had just squeezed my hand " Doctor Liam's squeezing my had he's alive!" I cried out desperately. The doctor seemed to ignore my hysterical pleas and continued to disconnect machines. I paid close attention to Liam's face. His pouty chapped pinks lips parted and he let out a groan while his forehead scrunched up.

     " Don't tell me you didn't see that!" I roared at the doctor. HE just rolled his eyes and continued to do his work. I intently went back to looking at Liam's pale face. His eyes started to flutter open and my pulse picked up. His eyes rich brown eyes opened up to meet my dull green eyes. I smiled from ear to ear. My first actual smile in months.

      " Dr. Caster! Look He's waking up!" I heard an Irish accent ring through the room. Dr.Caster finally paid attention and turned around. The face he made was priceless. He quickly called for more nurses and pushed us out of the room. The entire time I couldn't stop smiling. Liam was okay.  I felt someone latch onto m waist and looked down. There was Niall and he buried his face deeper into my side.

       I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. I placed my chin on the top of his head. The I felt someone else latch onto my other side. Louis was shaking and squeezing my chest. I looked down at him in wonder.  Why did he want to touch me? I was despicable and disgusting. I hardly gave that much thought because all I could think about was how wonderful it felt to be this close to him. No matter the circumstances. All I knew was that I felt complete.

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