The Mind of a Bully

I wrote this quite a while ago and I just came across it in an old notepad I had when I was 8 and decided to clean it up! Hope you all like it and remember to like, comment and fave!

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1. (Prologue:) Me.

 

I'm not sure why; I just always found pleasure out of making fun of others. At first I never classed it as bullying, just having a joke; a laugh! Not everyone thought of it that way and as I got older, I found myself doing it more and more. My group of friends started slowly shrinking, and then started growing rapidly. Everyone was scared of me and wanted to be on my good side, and I liked it!

I was never the prettiest, most popular girl at school and always felt a bit down. When I was about 11 though I started getting more popular than ever, but also found myself taking advantage of my popularity. It was no more than a bit of fun and really, I never meant to hurt anyone, I just wanted to have a laugh.

I never knew what to say apart from that, when any of the victims asked me why I made fun of them. Now I know that I was jealous. I was jealous about something with every one of them I made fun of. Some had nicer eyes than me, so I picked on any flaw I could find of them. Others had beautiful singing voices, whereas I screech like a dying cat.

My 'friends' would laugh every time I would make a funny joke about someone, which encouraged me that bit more. I liked not having to worry what other people would say; though I'm not that sure why everyone was so scared of me. Nothing I said was ever that bad and I was never threatening or anything, they were all just scare-die-cats.

But as I got older, I found how serious what I was doing was. I apologized to everyone I ever hurt but they found that this was my weak point and they hurt me. They hurt me bad and I hated it. I saw then what I had been doing all those years and for the next 2 years I cried myself to sleep; every night.

These people eventually got more friends who bullied whose friends bullied me and so on. I found myself being hated by almost the whole school. It made me feel uncomfortable and ugly. I started getting self-conscious and had to move school.

I starved myself; trying to get skinny. I cut; trying to get the pain of everything else away. I pulled my hair so hard it all fell out, and now the doctors say it may never grow again. My new school aren't any better than my old. They say I have cancer because I have no hair and they see my cuts. They see how skinny I am and the worst thing is; no one tries to help.

If I could get one friend, one friend, that's all I need. It could help me get back on track, build up my confidence? But I know that will never happen because karma really does come back around.

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