New (1D Not Famous)

Today I started a new school. I was worried that I wouldn't make any friends there, but this boy with crazy curly hair called Harry Styles is nice. He showed me around and let me sit with him at lunch. At least I can be a bit more positive at this new school.

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7. depression and apologies

When we reached my house Harry looked into my eyes. His green eyes melting into mine. He placed his hand carefully on my cheek. He leaned in, closing the distance between us. In a matter of seconds his lips were on mine. I felt his tongue glide across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth. 

He pulled away after a few minutes and I felt my cheeks burn. 

"Bye." He said pulling me into a hug. 

"Bye." and I walked inside. I can't believe I had my first kiss. I ran upstairs and curled in my bed. I was so happy. 

I woke up and got ready for school. Before I knew it Harry was at the front door. I answered it. 

"Hiya." I greeted. 

"Hi, you ready?" he asked and I nodded. We walked to school in silence, not talking much. 

When we arrived I sat with him and his friends, waiting for first lesson. When the bell finally went I walked to English on my own, Harry wanted to stay behind with some friends and walk with them. Harry has been acting strange since we kissed. I'm starting to worry that he hates me now or something. 

I sat alone in English, I was on my own. Harry sat with Tom. I didn't know anyone else. I was tempted to just bunk school and go home but I know Mum will be annoyed. 

The rest of the day dragged, Harry didn't speak to me at all. Alice sat with me in a few lessons, so did Megan and Kayla. They asked me why Harry wasn't with me and I just shrugged. I waited by the school gates for Harry, he never turned up. I waited an hour in case he was kept back. After that I walked home, fighting tears along the way. I walked past the park on the way home and saw him there with friends. He left without telling me he wasn't waiting. I got home and ran straight to my bedroom, not talking to Mum, and curled up into bed and cried. I wiped away my tears quickly when I heard footsteps and sat up and grabbed a book off of my bookshelf and began to read it. 

"Back late, why?" Mum asked. 

"I was walking back with Harry ..." I began but Mum interrupted me.  

"No, you weren't, I saw him come home 45 minutes ago." She interrupted. 

"OK, fine, I was waiting for Harry but he didn't wait for me." I told her. 

"Oh, don't lie again. Maybe he forgot." Mum said walking back downstairs. I shut the book and curled up and cried again. 

Everyone hates me. Harry hates me. I wonder what I did so wrong. We just kissed, he started the kiss. Was I crap at kissing or something? Was it because of the horrible things I said to Hayley? 

A week passed slowly, Harry was dating Hayley again, that seemed to crush me like a bug. Has he forgotten the kiss? I'm guessing I should forget it too. I felt depressed again.  

A few more weeks passed, I was closer friends with Megan, Kayla and Alice, and I told them what happened. 

"I have a feeling he's avoiding you because he likes Hayley and he also likes you, so he avoids you to avoid kissing you again or something." Kayla predicted. 

"I agree. He needs to talk to you soon." Alice added.

"Give it the half term holidays, he may see what a whore Hayley is and leave her for good and go back to talking to you, when he does, ignore him. Then he will see he hurt you and apologise. Also play hard to get, if he really likes you he won't give up." Megan advised. I smiled and pulled my jumper over my wrists, hiding scars and hiding fresh cuts. 

The half term holiday arrived and Hayley cheated on Harry, it was on the last day of term and she walked up to someone she liked and snogged him. Harry was heartbroken. He will probably come running back to me and apologise. I don't really want to do what Megan said, I'm gonna forgive him and stay friends. Even if I do have a slight crush on him and he's the reason I cut my wrists almost every night. 

I walked home alone, Mum still hasn't suspected I'm depressed again. I guess she is so caught up in her relationship with Paul. They're already engaged, I suppose they have been going out for a while. He spends quite sometime here, he is nice. I'm just worried he will change once they get married and he will be some jerk. I sat in my room and looked out the window onto the street to see Harry walking out of his house. I was expecting him to walk towards the park, he turned and walked to my house. He looked upset, like Hayley had drained all the happiness out of him. 

I heard the doorbell ring but I didn't budge. I wanted to pretend I hadn't seen him walk out of his house. I didn't want to seem creepy. 

"Samantha?" Paul called up the stairs. "It's for you." 

"OK." I said and ran down. "Oh, hi, Harry." Letting a small amount of bitterness fill my voice. 

"Hi, about everything, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being such a jerk." he apologised, he looked like he meant it. 

"It's fine." I returned bitterly. "So, you're just gonna come running back to me when everything goes bad?" 

"No. I wanted to apologise for being such a jerk. I shouldn't have ignored you. I only ignored you because I still had feelings for Hayley and I didn't want to develop feelings for you too and make stuff complicated." Harry explained quickly. 

"Oh." I mumbled, not knowing what to say. 

"Wanna walk with me? So I can explain things better." Harry asked. 

"Sure." I turned around and walked to the kitchen where Mum and Paul was. "Mum, can I go out?" I asked. 

"Sure, just be back in an hour." Mum replied then turning to Paul. 

I walked back to the front door and slipped my vans on quickly and walked outside, closing the door quietly. 

"I need to ask you something." Harry mumbled. 

"OK." I replied, looking at him curiously. 

"I was wondering if, y'know, you will go out with me." Harry asked nervously. 

"You've just broken up with Hayley, don't you wanna give it some time before you get another girlfriend?" I asked him. 

"Well, I just want a girlfriend to help me get over her, y'know?" Harry replied. 

"Then that means you're using that girl, which isn't fair." I retorted. 

"Oh, right. How about I ask you in a few weeks?" Harry suggested. 

"Sure." I mumbled. Harry stopped walking and I looked around to see why. 

"I need to confess something." He mumbled quietly. 

"What?" I asked, waiting for a reply. My heart hammering, my stomach filled with butterflies. 

"I like you, more than a friend. I always have done, since I met you." Harry confessed, blushing a deep red.  

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