My Temperature Rising

Ryan was a typical 16 year-old girl that moved from the States to London because her mom got a upgrade in her job from AT&T. Being raised in Texas was a noticeable difference at her new English high school. She started meeting this boy that lived in the same apartment building as she was. With his beautiful soothing Irish accent voice Niall Horan, Ryan made a new friend.But she was also used to either hanging out with Niall or mostly spending her time alone until her chemistry teacher paired her up with Harry Styles. Having major differences, unless you count them both having curly brown hair, this would be a challenge. Especially since Ryan might have a crush for this boy. . . but she might already have feelings for her new friend Niall. Who would she pick over?


6. Niall or Harry?


It's February now so It's been a few months since Niall and I last talked in general. I never got a text back that night but hey I shouldn't have kept my hopes up.The thing is I know, and Harry knows, that he isn't suppose to be gettin' any closer to me but it just. . . happened. Each day we got closer as friends and each day I find that he isn't that bad after all. Harry was my shoulder to cry on. He has been my listener when I have a build up of stress and worry from Niall. He has been my friend I needed to lean on but he still is a whole lot of different from Niall. I miss Niall oh so much. Our endless conversations, our cute lil sibling moments, his protective actions. It's all I ever dreamed of a guy best friend to be. I just wished he would of told me sooner 'cause that would of made a whole lot of difference in my life and avoidin' this problem.

I'm supposed to meet up with Harry after school at our lil get away place called Starbucks. I haven't seen at all actually since we last talked even at school. Except yesterday. I saw a short glimpse at him at lunch in the courtyard. He was eatin', as much as he could fit which is usual, and was readin' a book perhaps. Then he gathered everythin' and left in an instant. It's like his sixth sense was the feel when I was 'round. I don't like to be avoided so I followed him. Call me a stalker but my theory was right, he is avoidin' me. I caught him simply "lookin' back at surroundin' areas' and saw me, bolted then hid. Immediately when I felt depressed, I almost collapsed in sadness and stress when Harry caught me when I almost fell and hid my face in his chest tryin' not to cry but Harry knew by now that, for this predicament, I would once again loose to resist holdin' back my tears. So he walked me home and we laid on the couch watchin' T.V. and indeed skipped school. 

I updated my ma on everythin' that was happenin' 'cause she saw that I was off.  i I guess i'm kinda see through but if my ma could see it then it's some problem. Ma and I still aren't that close and that's why it's some kinda of a big deal if she could see somethin' wrong with me. 

But when Harry and I laid next to each other, really close, my head restin' on his broad chest with his heart breathin' and air rushin' in and out of his lungs, it felt. . . bliss. Like Utopia. With Friends on we would occasionally laugh now and then and when those love silences when the boyfriend and girlfriend have a lil thing goin' on and then they end up makin' out. Well Harry and I had one of those moments. We looked away when the characters were startin' to make out and we just ended up starin' at each other with grins. He gave me a smirk and things went places. Not like that. Well . . . almost. We hadn't kissed since that night and nobody could stop us now.

His head slowly went closer to mine. we hesitated a bit then he said, "it's alright. I promise to take care of you." I obviously believed him and he started kissin' sweetly then  things sorta. . . went into outta control. We both wanted more than just a kiss. We wanted a make out. We wanted love. We wanted each other oh so badly and the only restriction was what would Niall feel if he heard 'bout this. But he is the one who pushed us both away. We didn't pull a "yolo" move or a " Well F it" move either but it was somewhere along those lines. Things sorta moved quicker  and things sorta moved to my bed. With us kissin' passionately or makin' out, which ever, Harry carried me with my legs wrapped 'round his waist, my hands holdin' his head and curly hair, his hands holdin' my waist and our faces smilin' from time to time. He plopped me on my bed and leaned over to continue kissin' me. we moved up towards my pillows, still kissin', and Harry took off his shirt. I stopped kissin' him and just stared at his eyes.

"Wh-what are you doin'?" I asked kinda scared to what he wanted to do.

"I just thought-"

" Thought that I wanted you. . . like this?"

"We-well I thought-"

" Thought that 'cause of the stress from Niall that I would just throw myself at you to try to not remeber what is goin' on?!"

At this point he got off of me and we sat next to each other. Him gettin' red and embarrassed and  me bein' the overly upset girl that is yellin' at him. from that second I heard my phone vibrate. I immediately stopped yellin' and turned to my phone. A part of me just still hopin' that from every text I got that it was from Niall. Wish granted.

"Meet me at the park in 5 minuets."

I was breathless. Starin' off into space then I heard my phone vibrate again.

"P.s. promise me that you won't kiss Harry again after that night. Please."

At that point I dropped my phone and collapsed on the floor. Everythin' was in slow motion. I screwed up. Again! I screwed up without even knowin' the new rules. I screwed up again. 

Harry raced towards my side and started askin' me questions like, "Are you ok?"and "What did you read?" I didn't acknowledge him at all. All I thought was Niall. I quickly got up, changed, and ran out. I left my phone, hopin' that Harry can that my hint that I want him to read the text messages. 

As I got there I saw him in the flesh. I ran as fast as I could and yelled out his name. He turned towards my direction and without a second to show an expression I hugged him as tightly as I could as if if I would let go he would be gone forever. At the point I didn't care who saw me, I started to cry on Niall's chest. I felt hands softly touchin' my back and the other on the back of my head. Then the final piece was Niall burrin' his head in my neck. I said I was so sorry non stop. We sat on the bench and I left my head on his shoulder. We had a silence to soak all this up and then Niall broke it with him sayin' :

"I love you." I cried a lil more. "I loved you ever since we first met. When you first moved here and was so lost and so confused. When you were bullied by being the new kid here. When we first had our first night run together. When I started being protective around you so you would be safe and when you gave me that scared look. When we started chillin at this park to talk and hang out. When I first started walking you to your classes. When we would share our deepest secrets and sorrows. When we were together."

He put his arm 'round me and that gave me a sign to look up at him this time when wanted to talk to me directly in the eyes. 

"I. Love. You Ryan." he said one last time. 

As if it was involuntary I responded, " I love you too."

Without me even knowin' I said that I felt like my heart took over to blurt out the truth. 

"but. . . "

"but?" he asked.

"but . . . don't you ever disappear like that on my Niall James Horan 'cause God knows where  you were and I was goin' all over kingdom come-"

I was interrupted by Niall laughin' his famous Niall laugh. Gosh I miss that so much but not as much as the whole package of Niall. He wiped my tears away while his thumb was rubbin' my cheek it slowly got slower and slower till it stopped and was soon accompanied by his other hand which was brought up to my other cheek. Although with the dimmed lightin', a ray of light perfectly was shown on Niall's eyes. And at that moment he slowly and nervously went closer to my face to kiss me. He wasn't as experience as Harry but he was clearly unique and not at in any bad way possible. It was sweet and that could either be feelin' sweet kiss or he ate somethin' sweet. Cotton Candy? Either way it was a Niall kiss.   

Once he retreated from my lips, we both smiled. It was a kinda smile of relief as if to say, "We finally did it", or, " I've been waitin' for that my whole life." Either way the kiss was amazin' and so was Niall. The thing that still is stuck to me is which boy do I pick? I definitely didn't wanna  lose Niall again and I don't wanna ditch Harry, especially when he has been there for me when Niall decided  to disappear. So I left that question unanswerable. I'm a hopeless girl in a completely hopeless world which I thought I got used to by now. 

After the kiss and a kinda awkward but not so awkward pause, Niall walked us home. I asked him so many questions and he gave me so many stories and answers 'cause. . . you know. . . I'd deserved to know. After forgivin' each other and tellin' non-stop stories and gazin' at the stars and lovin' life once again, it was time for the end to end. He walked me up stairs to my unit and gave me a goodnight kiss, smiled yet again as I did, then we left out separate ways. When I closed the door I bit my lip and smiled at this night. It finally ended right. All this drama and sadness finally resolved. All this . . . is over. Finally. Probably nobody knows how relieved I am at this point. It 30 till midnight so it's definitely time to "hit the hay." Ma should already be in bed by now 'cause it's a school night but also I wouldn't be too surprised if she was still out with her new friends or rather just friends. I changed, showered, brushed, then fell on the bed. *Plop* I brought out my phone and connected it to the charger. But as I was doin' so I thought of textin' not Niall but Harry. Just to update him on this resolution. 

"Hey", I texted.

"Hey what are you doing texting this late missy?"

"Haha. very funny dad. I just thought you'd might wanna hear 'bout stuff but I guess not. . . "

"I do! what happened!? Is everything okay?"

"Yep! of course it is well now it is. Everybody's friends again"

"well not everybody."

"You should talk to him Harry. Brest friend to best friend"

"He doesn't wanna talk to me. trust me I know and I've tried. It's just frustrating and I've told him a bagillion zillion times that I'm sorry and I'm sure you have too. Look. He loves you. Just promise me one thing. That we're still gonna be friends and I'm gonna still be that friend that you can cry on his shoulder. That you won't tell Niall about what happened tonight with. . . us. By the way I am really sorry about tonight. I just . . . thought."

"That's what my dad tells us. You didn't know you thought. "

"Well I am sorry and I just wanted you to hear again."

"Well I accept your apology mister and indeed you're still gonna be my best guy friend no matter what. And especially when I need a shoulder to cry on."

"haha okay missy well good night and sweet dreams. Enjoy the stars tonight."

"If i could see them in this BLOODY city. haha "

"Hey you're catching on"

"haha well good night Curly."

"Before we officially leave this conversation. . . did you pick yet?"  Now what he means by, " did you pick yet?" is Niall or him. 

"No. sorry. I've been in more of a pickle than ever."

"haha It's fine bird. I have patience. Goodnight love."

By now it's already midnight and I'm exhausted. I locked my phone and crashed with my windows freely opened so I would day dream a lil with the scenery off the city and stars. Let's just say that my dream was beautiful and confusin'. But when does a dream ever make sense. But that's kinda what I've been expectin'. Some sense. Hopin' that my dream would actually pick, Niall or Harry, for me. 'Cause you know that with dreams they show signs of what's goin' on in your head, recent actions that happened either that day or earlier that week but also most importantly you heart. But no luck. Nope. Nada. Zap. Poop. Dead. Well I guess I'll just have to figure this out on my own. 

*          *          *          *          *          *

Tomorrow is the "lovely" valentines day. Yay. Just what I need. I know FOR A FACT that Harry and NIall will try to make me their valentine. The ultimate game. The game . *haha . You see what I did there? . . . Anyway. I thought I would just end this and kill it for tomorrow. . . by dressin' up so perf and beautiful just to have a lil fun makin' the Boys drool a bit. You see. I personally don't like Valentines day but is it so bad to make a lil fun tomorrow? So I dressed with a cute knee length floral red, pink, white, green dress. Usually, especially in Texas, I would wear this for warmer climates but I thought if i either wear jeans or some sort of leggings that I wouldn't be that cold. I picked jeans cause that's just more my style. Oh yea that's another thing. I'm no fashionista. I'm just a indie, country, loose, casual, T-shirt, jeans, Toms kinda female. I despise the people and clothes that wear/are puffy, overly glittery, just plain glittery, too much pink, poofy, fluffy, ruffles, Juicey Coulture or however way you spell it, prepy clothing. Nah-uh. Can't handle it. And DON'T get me started on make-up. Long lecture short, make-up is a pice of crap. I hate, despise make-up to the up most level possible. I believe in natural beautiful to the max. Now if the other girl, basically the whole world except for me, wear make-up and feel confident then why kill their confidence if it make them comfortable? I usually stay far, far away from conversations that have to do with beauty, fashion and make-up. But if it's 'bout helpin' people with self-esteem and such I'm your girl. I'm a helper. I'm a listener. I'm a fixer or at least I try to be. 

Any who I put the dress on, let my beautiful curls fall, out my jeans on, Toms, and a lil bit of my signature perfume peppermint on and grabs my junk and head out to meet Niall to walk to school. Immediately I saw my reactions to my physical feature and got positive reactions. Niall gave my not roses but my favorite flowers. Sunflowers. They remind me of home and it's sorta a family tradition to have our favorite flower to be the sunflower. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He also gave me some Hersey's kisses. What girl could resist chocolates?! Surely not me. I gave him another cheek kiss. Then lastly he gave me a card. I opened it and it had a cute dog on the cover holdin' flowers to give to a poodle. Then I opened it and had a picture of Niall and I in the photo booth at a cinema sometime ago. Inside the card it said, " Roses are red, violets are blue, ever since we met, I fell in love with you. Love forever and always Niall James Horan." I felt kinda emotional, but in a good way, and grab Niall into a hug. He knows that I don't like cryin' in public and nevertheless wantin' people to see me cry especially at school. It was sorta like a forever promise with my dad and I. He always said that If I ever do cry at school to run to the bathroom and let it out, clean myself up, then go back to my class with my head up high. He always told me that cryin' shows weakness and especially in school I could be bullied and Pa only wanted the best for me and to protect me.

So we were just there at the corner of a street, my head is covered and protected by Niall hidin' my face, and we pulled each other in a hug. He wiped my tears away and had a surprised and confused look on his face. I was smilin' when he was wipin' my tears away.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked puzzled.

"Because I'm finally happy."

I think I finally picked who I loved the most. I mean I love Harry and I love Niall but I just see Harry as a best friend lover or a love relationship movin' fast kinda deal if you know what I mean. Yeah. But with Niall I see my best friend but a protector, an ultimate lover, my lover, soul mate. He has that fire in his eyes that screams, " if anyone lays a finger on you I WILL kill them." So it just so happens to be a Starbucks at the corner we were on and I asked Niall if he could order my usual order of just a grande hot chocolate. Then he left. Then I pulled out my phone. Then I texted Harry:

"Niall. I pick Niall. I'm sorry."

Then I turned off my phone. Then I felt a tear rollin' down my cheek. Then I see Niall at the side of my vision. Then he wipes it away and asks if I was still okay. Then I answered that I was just finishin' my last cry. Then we smiled and laughed. Then we headed out. Then I told him I loved him. Then he kissed me passionately. Then he asked me out. I said yes. Then we walked to school holdin' each others hand intwined with each others fingers. 

Then I didn't see Harry at school. 

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