Devil with the Angel's Eyes (16+)

(Based on Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner)

Saria Ahmed is Assef's twelve year old sister, a charming young girl with bright blue eyes, and curly blonde hair. With her girly dresses and sweet demeanour, she comes across as the perfect child. But there is evil lying just beneath the innocent facade, a darkness that is sometimes beyond her control...

Any characters, words or plot devices taken from the Kite Runner are copyrighted by Khaled Hosseini and Dreamworks studios. I do not own them, and no copyright is intended. Saria Ahmed, and any other characters not owned by Hosseini are owned by me.

Please note that this story does contain strong violence, language and mature themes, but it is meant to reflect the violent and sociopathic natures of both Saria and Assef, and is told from Saria's unique first person perspective. If you are under the age, or maturity level of 16, or are in any way squeamish about violence, please do not read this story. Any feedback/ideas are welcomed.

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18. Playing with my Hate

In the last chapter, Saria went to Pakistan where she was reunited with her cousin Fahrsan, who she hadn't seen in years. She was later disgusted to learn that Fahrsan left a dead bird hidden in the wardrobe. Now we find the week is halfway through as a surprise from her uncle gives Saria ample time to cause pain and misery once again...

''Fucking zipper!'' I swore as I struggled to get into my pleated pink dress. Getting prettied up was such a tedious chore for me. I wished I could just throw on any old thing and just go. The game had to be played irregardless of my own comfort. It was a most beautiful day outside, and I had managed to sleep well in the now spick and span room Assef and I shared. I looked at myself in the mirror and yanked hard at my zip. ''Come on! It's going to fucking break soon!'' I hissed. Giving it one large pull, I overbalanced and fell flat on my face. My head took a right crack as I landed on the floor. A sharp pain shot through my entire body. I began crying piteously. I had hit my head on a nail that was sticking out of the floor.

Why the fuck Fahrsan hadn't dealt with that I had no idea. I dabbed at my temple. ''Saria, are you coming down, sweetheart?'' Stella asked. My ears were ringing; I could barely make out what she was saying. I didn't answer her. 'Ugh, my head... Go away you stupid bitch!' I thought to myself. I rubbed at my head as I curled up in a ball. I touched my temple. Blood.

''FUCK! I busted my head open!'' I swore. I sat up on my knees and hunched forward, holding my throbbing wound. I managed to get to the bed and sat down, bending over and grumbling with pain.

''Are you coming down to us?'' Stella called again. I almost wanted to spit in her mouth and tell her to taste it! The dumbass was really getting on my last nerve. I had to steel myself before I answered her.

''Almost ready, Khala.'' I couldn't let the mask slip for any reason. Grabbing an old towel from the cupboard, I pressed it to my bleeding wound. This wasn't how I wanted my day to pan out. Just my fucking luck! I had to remind myself not to start screaming with my family downstairs. The pain was intense. A nail, honestly, this room was a fucking pigsty.

My reverie was interrupted by my brother entered the room. He stood at the door with his arms folded across his chest. ''I've been sent up as a search party, kiddo. Come on down, you're worrying people by staying up here.''

''I'm sorry, Assef,'' I mumbled sadly.

He walked over and gently lifted my chin. ''I'm not mad at you, sister. Nobody is mad at you. Our mother is just being a panicky cunt, that's all.'' This elicited a laugh from me. I rubbed my head.

''There's a nail over in the corner, Assef. Just be careful. I cracked my head off it a few minutes ago. That's why I was so long,'' I explained.

Assef hugged me to him. ''You okay?'' he asked in concern. I nodded, pressed up against his waist.

''Uh-huh. That dumb Fahrsan didn't tidy up properly, obviously.''

Assef kissed my wound, looking at me in sympathy. ''Shareem's got a surprise for us,'' he said.

''Really, now what could that be?'' I asked. Surely it would be something idiotic and childish, as per fucking usual. The dumb fatty was very high on the list of people who's throats I would like to slit. Still, I knew I would have to just feign interest and excitement like any endearing child would.

Assef ruffled my hair. ''Well, if I knew that it wouldn't really be that much of a surprise, now would it?'' he teased.

''Maybe Hassan's come over and they're going to let us murder him,'' I pondered hopefully. My eyes lit up at the prospect.

Assef chortled loudly, squeezing my shoulder. ''Chance would be a fine thing, but I like your thinking, Sar.'' He ran his fingers through my hair. Who wouldn't love the bond we shared? I covered my scratch with some hair. Time to face the music. I couldn't just stay up here with my brother forever, no matter how much I wanted to.

I skipped ahead of Assef down the stairs and into the kitchen. I truly felt a fucking idiot for behaving this way! My cousin got down on his knees and hugged me tightly. So tight in fact that I felt my ribs would crack. It took every ounce of patience that I had not to push him away from me. ''Where were you, sweetie?'' He asked stupidly.

''I was upstairs,'' I said. 'You dumb prick,' I thought. ''It takes effort for us girls to look this good. Isn't that right, Mama?'' My quip gained a laugh from my mother and aunt. Mama gently kissed the top of my head.

Each of them basked in the simplicity of the moment. I continued to play the role of sweet and innocent little Saria. I bent my knees and cocked my head to the side. Shareem laughed and dug his fingers into my ribs. I squeaked and dashed away from him. He caught me round the waist and dragged me closer to him, tickling my ribs mercilessly. I laughed so hard I felt I was going to get sick. This was why I didn't like to get tickled, except by Assef.

He always knew when to draw the line before I ended up puking my guts out on the floor. Somehow I feared Shareem wouldn't know where that line was. ''Haha, STOP IT!'' I screamed through my hysteria. I kicked my legs futilely. Fahrsan poked at my armpits and I shrieked. ''Nooo... STOP! PLEASE! ASSEF HELP ME!'' I begged.

''Come on, Kaka jan, stop torturing my little sister,'' Assef said, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. Fahrsan laughed and ruffled my hair.

''Hehe, put me down!'' I cried. Shareem set me back onto my feet. I felt light headed as I swayed back and forth on my heels. The blood rushed to my head. With this and the injury I had just sustained upstairs I was sure I would faint soon. Blur spots danced in front of my eyes. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Assef rubbed the back of my hand gently.

''Everything alright?'' he asked.

I nodded slowly. ''Yeah,'' I said.

''I bet you're beat, cuz, are we too much for ya?'' Fahrsan teased. I had to fake a laugh as I turned to face him. I just wanted to slap him. Shareem laughed and wrapped an arm around Assef's shoulder, and ruffled his blond hair. Assef pushed him away, laughing.

''Pisshead fucker,'' he mouthed at me. I sniggered beneath my palm. Of course, no one else was any the wiser as to why I was laughing. Not that they ever would be. Shareem clasped his hands under his chin in complete delight. He seemed more excited than normal today. I was soon to find out why.

''I have a very special surprise for you all,'' he said. I looked up at him in delight.

''Yes, Assef was telling me! I love surprises what is it?'' I asked, clasping my hands as if in prayer. Shareem glanced from side to side and leaned in close so we were almost nose to nose.

''All of us, including Mr. Cuddles, are going to drive up to the woods... And... Go on a scavenger hunt!''

'A scavenger hunt?' I thought in surprise.

''Wow! A SCAVENGER HUNT! How fun!'' Fahrsan shrieked in elation. He bounced up and down like a retard. God, and this idiot is supposed to be seventeen!

''Yeah, I thought that would be fun. You used to love our scavenger hunts, Assef. Do you remember you brought your little friends down once and we all had a boy's day out?'' Shareem said.

''Right, when Wali, Kamal and I were four,'' Assef retorted. They laughed at this statement, but in reality my brother was being the smart ass we are both known to be. Fahrsan bounced around in total excitement. Papa and Mama were both grinning from ear to ear. I realised that I had to play the part. I began jumping up and down with Fahrsan.

''Yay! How fun!'' I clapped my hands together in delight. Honestly I could have murdered every single person in the room right then and there. Minus Assef, of course. That's how pissed I was at that moment. A scavenger hunt? What the fuck was wrong with these people? I was twelve years old! As Assef said, scavenger hunts were only interesting and fun to toddlers.

This was bullshit, pure and simple. Still, I had to pretend like I gave a shit. I giggled excitedly like any child would. The moment only got crazier when Mr. Cuddles bounded into the room. Obviously the dumb animal wanted to join in the fun with us as well. He yapped excitedly as Fahrsan gathered him up into his arms and spun the pup around. The dog excitedly licked at my cousin's face with his coarse pink tongue. 'He doesn't seem to have a problem with those skin grafts... Or maybe dogs just have terrible eyesight!' I thought to myself with a slight chuckle.

Fahrsan bounced around the room like someone on hashish, with the idiotically named dog still in his arms. ''Thank you so much, Father. Thank you,'' he said, running round to hug his father's neck. He grabbed his mother's hands and jumped up and down. ''This is going to be the best day ever! A scavenger hunt, and we get to bring Mr. Cuddle's along! WAHOO!'' he shouted. I seriously had to restrain from rolling my eyes. I knew that he was only trying to make it fun for me, but it was more than irritating!

Assef looked at me. ''Freak,'' he mouthed, glancing at Fahrsan. I giggled loudly. I kept grinning widely as was expected of me.

''When... When do we go?'' Fahrsan asked. He clapped his hands together.

''Well I haven't finished making all the treasure maps, yet. I was thinking it could be a competition. The adults versus the children and Mr. Cuddles.'' Assef picked up his unfinished breakfast and tossed it into the bin. I could tell Mama and Papa were a bit peeved that their son had wasted this good food but they wisely didn't say anything.

''Come on upstairs, kiddo,'' Assef said.

''I'll come too,'' Fahrsan interrupted.

''Don't you have a dog to feed?'' my brother replied cockily.

''Assef's right, son. You need to take care of Mr. Cuddles. Go on. That is your responsibility, after all.'' Shareem gave his son a friendly shove. Fahrsan was in bright spirits as he traipsed outside, Mr. Cuddles following him.

''It would be best, Saria, if you and your brother went upstairs for a while. After all, you don't want an unfair advantage,'' Shareem explained. Stella smoothed out my collar and smiled at me. I gave her the best smile I could muster, then turned and skipped up the stairs, shrieking excitedly like an idiot.

Assef and I both entered our room and I fell face down onto my bed, grumbling loudly. ''A scavenger hunt.. Fucking shit! We're both too old for this bull..'' I mumbled in German.

''And Fahrsan, what a faggot. What is wrong with that boy?'' Assef sat beside me and placed a hand on my back.

''You mean beside all the obvious stuff. I think he's just trying to make it exciting for me,'' I groaned into the pillow. ''God, I'm not a baby!'' I grumbled angrily. My head was pounding. The product of my frustration and the injury I had earlier sustained. I punched the pillow in frustration. The sound was muffled by the soft fabric. I angrily bit into the pillow and screamed.

My brother stroked the back of my head sympathetically. I cried tears of anger and frustration. ''Come on now, Sar. Don't cry. It's not the end of the world. We can make something good out of it. Right?'' He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small steak knife. My eyes lit up at the sight of it. Assef dangled it in front of me, laughing. ''Today's the day we kill that stupid dog,'' he said with conviction.

The corners of my mouth turned up into the first genuine smile I had smiled all morning. I did have a serious question however. I sat up on my elbow and leaned in towards my brother. ''But what if someone catches us?''

Assef poked me in the nose. ''You're Zainab's murderer, kiddo. How many times have we hurt someone and avoided detection?''

I lowered my eyes. ''But we'll be with Fahrsan,'' I muttered.

''So? We'll place the body in the road, make it look like he got hit by a car. They'll probably blame him, not us. Remember the dead bird?'' Assef smiled at me. ''Everything will be okay. Who expects you, after all? Don't you want to have fun with your brother, huh?'' He asked teasingly.

''Okay. We'll kill the dog. Yippy!'' I hugged Assef's neck.

''Glad I could make you happy, kiddo,'' he replied. I kissed his cheek and bounced up and down in excitement. After all, torture and misery were my drugs of choice! My worrying was only out of concern for my older brother's well being. He knew that. He worried about me too. Isn't that what you do when you love someone deeply? I got up from the bed and walked to the window.

''It's a beautiful day,'' I whispered to myself. ''The perfect day to commit a murder.'' I giggled at the thought. I ran the blade of the knife along my hand. It was dangerously sharp, and I almost cut myself. Assef took it from me and glanced at his reflection in the blade.

He put the knife in the side pocket of his orange jacket and tapped it. ''I do wish we could murder Fahrsan though. Or at least that you'd rape him,'' I lamented. Assef hugged me to him.

''Well, there's five days left until we go home. You never know what might happen.'' We watched as Shareem gathered the necessary things for Mr. Cuddles' trip, and put them in the car. I looked blankly down on him. He didn't notice me as he busied himself with the fun day he had planned. Oh if only he knew!

''Saria?'' Papa called up the stairs. ''Saria, Assef, come down! We're ready for you!'' Assef took my hand and squeezed it.

''Game face, kiddo. Remember the prize.'' Of course, the ''prize,'' for us was the pain and misery we were soon to cause. We walked down stairs and out to the car. Fahrsan spun me around in his arms.

''Let's go, go, GO!'' he said with vigorous excitement. My brother and I rolled our eyes at his foolishness. The sky was clear with a light breeze. Fahrsan sat beside me in the back seat of the car.

''Assef, you'll go with your parents,'' he explained.

I shook my head frantically. ''No, no! I want Assef to stay with me!'' I cried.

Fahrsan looked at me in disappointment. He didn't want his cousin to spend time with anyone but him. I knew he just wanted to bond with me. Assef stood there, not knowing what to say or do. My eyes locked on his as I silently begged for help.

''It's only a thirty minute drive, Saria. Surely you can leave your brother for that long?'' Shareem tried to pacify me. I was having none of it. I clenched my fists.

''Please, I wanna go with my brother!'' I begged childishly. Fahrsan looked at me in disdain.

''You see him every bloody day. I haven't seen you since you were six. I missed you, and I just wanted to spend some time with you.'' Oh great. Now I was the bad guy. I wondered briefly if this would upset our plan to murder the puppy yapping on my cousin's lap. The tension was thick.

Shareem, I could tell was a bit pissed off. He just wanted to go. I lowered my eyes and sniffled. I would play the role of the sweet child, poor little Saria. My charm never failed to get me what I wanted. Assef smiled at me.

''Come on now, Saria. You'll see Assef soon. Just relax. Come on,'' Fahrsan said in irritated tones.

''I wanna be with my brother! Please, I.. I just don't want to go without him. He's my best friend.''

Shareem shook his head. ''Assef, listen, maybe it would be better if you went away,'' he said. Assef shook his head, taking my small hand in his. ''She doesn't mean any harm by it, she's just a little tired, and you're right, Fahrsan, you haven't seen each other in years. Can you blame her for being a little timid?'' I held my breath.

Would this make them suspicious? Would they be able to see the darkness in me? The evil I hid behind the dresses and curls? Fahrsan angrily kicked the car door. I cowered back in terror. He really was making this so easy. I realised then that he would be the bad guy. I was just the sweet, charming little girl who loved her brother and wanted to stay with him. My innocence could be seen as somewhat endearing. ''I'm sorry, Fahrsan, I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I just want to stay with my brother.''

''It's okay, sweetie,'' Stella said sympathetically. ''Don't be sad. This is the first time you've been in the car with us. I understand, baby, I'd want Tanya with me if I was your age.'' I smiled, knowing she would be a good ally in this fight.

''I really don't mean any harm,'' I muttered. ''I just want my brother.''

Shareem sighed. ''I know, Saria. I understand, honey. There's no need to be nervous though. We're your family'' He touched my arm lightly.

''I know and I love you all so much,'' I lied. Do I need to say how much I detested these hideous people. If I could get my way I wouldn't even be here with them in the first place.

''I guess Assef could come in with us,'' Fahrsan grumbled. ''I mean, if that would make you happy. You can sit in the middle next to both of us.'' I knew this would be the best compromise I could hope for. I nodded.

''Okay! Yes, I'd like that, then we all can spend time together. Plan our tactics for the scavenger hunt.'' I beamed stupidly. Assef got in beside me, as Shareem told our parents the change on plan. They were both relieved. Alone time with their son was something they both wanted to do without. Papa gently brushed a lock of my hair back from my eyes. He smiled at me sympathetically.

''We'll see you in a little while.'' With that being said, he walked back to his own car. My family lived about thirty minutes from the Shakarparian forests in Islamabad. These forests were perfect for a scavenger hunt, and also perfect to commit a murder. I smirked to myself at the thought. Fahrsan was silent as the car pulled out of the drive. I knew he was just pissed off that we weren't alone.

The little dipshit needed to learn his place. Nonetheless, I decided not to let his attitude bother me. I kept up my jovial facade, laughing loudly as Mr. Cuddles licked my cheek. The little dog was utterly oblivious as to the fate that he was to suffer.

''When do you have to bring him back?'' My brother asked, petting the pup's head.

''Oh, um, this Friday,'' Fahrsan answered. ''I wish I didn't have to,'' he added in sadness. He hugged the dog to him.

''Rashid is lucky to have a good friend like you.'' I said sweetly. 'That's right, Saria, tug on some fucking heart strings.' I thought to myself. He beamed and touched my hand. Any animosity between us as now forgotten. For the time being, at least. That would soon change. Assef and I both looked at each other with smiles on our faces.

''You're both very happy,'' Stella said, glancing at us in her rear view mirror. ''That's because I'm so happy I'm spending time with you,'' I lied like only a true sociopath could.

I leaned in close to my brother's ear. ''We should cut that dog's tongue out. Stop his incessant yapping,'' I whispered in German. Assef looked at me, smirking. Of course, nobody else knew what was happening, or the terror that was soon to befall them.

I turned around on my knees and looked at my parents car behind us. 'Go crash and die,' I thought to myself. In my mind, there was one person here that I loved, and the other five I wanted dead. Yes, even my own parents. But I don't think I need to ramble on about that any further. Fahrsan began talking incessantly about the scavenger hunt. His enthusiasm was unwavering.

I wish that I could share in it. If I was ''normal'' would these family trips be better? No, who would help my brother cause misery then? The car slowed to a stop outside the majestic Shakarparian forest. Beautiful trees swayed tall above us as we basked in their beauty. ''What a place!'' I mumbled under my breath. Fahrsan placed a leash on the bouncing Mr. Cuddles, drawing him in close. I almost wanted to rip that dog away from him, but thought better of it. 'That dog is mine!' I thought vehemently. 'But... all in due time.' I smirked.

Shareem pulled out two hand-drawn maps and handed one to Fahrsan. ''A few rules before we set off,'' he said. ''Firstly, no going off on your own. Secondly, no arguing. That's not why we're here. Respect each other. Thirdly, have fun!'' He beamed like a fat oaf, clapping his pudgy hands together. ''So, may be the best team win!'' he chortled.

''Oh don't worry, we plan to,'' Fahrsan joked back. The three of us walked into the woods. ''Okay... Let's see. We need to find, um, a big red shoe.''

''Are you fucking joking me? Who the fuck leaves a shoe in the forest?'' Assef said in German. Fahrsan didn't bother asking him to translate.

''We can use Mr. Cuddles to sniff it out! Or would that be cheating?'' he muttered to himself. We continued to walk deeper into the forest. My patience would soon wear thin... I wanted that dog to burn! We continued to walk in silence, searching for that godforsaken red shoe.

My feet started to sweat in their black pumps. I skipped ahead regardless. We trekked half way into the words before Fahrsan found that clown shoe.

''Yay!'' he celebrated. I looked down at it in disdain. ''Maybe the prize is a clown suit,'' he mused.

''If anyone tries to get me in a clown suit, I'll rip their eyes out and take a shit in their sockets,'' Assef said in German.

''What was that?''

''I said I don't think it will be.'' Fahrsan seemed satisfied with this answer. We searched high and low for the other clues. As we were walking, Assef half-pushed me behind some trees. Fahrsan, not noticing our disappearance, knelt down and began searching for other clues. I bit my lip and looked up at my brother.

''Is it time?'' He nodded. Fortunately for us, Fahrsan had dropped Mr. Cuddle's leash. Too fucking easy! I leaned over and slapped my knees twice.

''Here boy, here! Come to Saria!'' I called in hushed tones. The dog bounded towards me, tail wagging. He just wanted someone to play with. Assef kept a watchful eye for Fahrsan.

''He hasn't even noticed we're gone,'' he said. ''I think we're pretty safe here.'' We were surrounded by trees and undergrowth. I knelt down and covered the puppy's mouth with my hand. He responded by licking me. Assef stamped on his paw, causing him to yelp in pain.

A normal person would have been moved to tears but this only caused me to giggle. My brother materialised the knife from his pocket, taking off his jacket and lying it to one side. I took the blade from him and began slashing Mr. Cuddles to ribbons. He gargled and convulsed with every stab. I was ripping him to shreds. The knife squelched as I plunged it into his intestines and twisted it. The little dog couldn't have been more than six months old.

His little cries would be moving, if either Assef and I had the heart to be moved by them. I continued my brutal assault long after Mr. Cuddle's stopped breathing. Assef stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. The body had to be disposed of. There was a little road just by where we came in. ''Where's Fahrsan?'' I asked.

''Gone over behind that tree. Hasn't noticed we're missing,'' Assef replied. We snuck by our idiot cousin, the dog held tightly to my brother's chest. Assef lay the pup down on the side of the road.

''There. Rest in peace, you little cunt,'' he said mockingly. He zipped up his jacket, hiding the blood on his t-shirt.

Just our luck, a passing car slammed into the dog, flattening him into a mush. I clapped my hands excitedly. ''Let's fuck with our cousin.'' Screwing my face up, I let out a loud scream. ''FAHRSAN! FAHRSAN!'' Tears spilled down my face. Crocodile tears, of course.

''SARIA!'' he screamed in response. ''Where are you both?'' He came racing through the forest, concern painted on his face. ''What happened? Why did you run off?''

''Your dog ran off. We were trying to catch him but he was too fast,'' Assef lied smoothly.

''Oh God.. Why didn't I see anything? Where's Mr. Cuddles?'' No words were spoken as Assef took my hand and we both led Fahrsan to the flattened body on the ground. From this angle, you could see exactly the amount of damage the car had done. Mr. Cuddles didn't even resemble a dog anymore. He was just a mush. I covered my mouth with my hands. Fahrsan crumpled into a ball, wailing pathetically.

''No! OH GOD! NO!'' he screamed. ''What do I tell Rashid?'' he lamented to himself.

''Tell him you let his dog get killed,'' Assef replied. He stroked my hair while I sobbed. Fahrsan tried to lift Mr. Cuddles up. Intestines spilled out on the ground. ''What are you doing, Fahrsan? It's dead. Put it down.'' Assef ordered.

This enfuriated our cousin. He jumped to his feet. ''It? IT? He's not an it, he's an animal with thoughts and feelings and should be treated with dignity! SHOW SOME RESPECT!'' He shoved Assef backwards and onto the ground. I watched in glee as my brother got back on his feet.

''You fucking cunt! HOW DARE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PUSH ME?" When my brother was angry, he was angry. He threw himself on Fahrsan, and the two of them rolled around for a bit. Assef, being a more skiled fighter, soon had Fahrsan pinned and was hitting him repeatedly. He raised his fist as if to punch the older teen in the face.

'Shit, what if the adults see?' I thought. I pulled on my brother's jacket.

''Assef! Assef, stop!'' I cried. He looked at me. I pulled on him again.

''Get up,'' he hissed at Fahrsan. Fahrsan struggled to his feet, tears streaming down his face. Within a few minutes, the adults arrived.

''What happened?'' Stella asked in horror. She took sight of the mangled body and covered her mouth in horror. ''What happened to Mr. Cuddles?''

''We tried to catch him but this car just c-came from nowhere,'' I sniffed, inwardly commending my acting skills.

Fahrsan pointed an accusatory finger at Assef. ''He just beat the shit out of me! They killed my dog! I know it! They did it!''

Shareem cracked his son on the back of the head. ''I don't believe that for one second. Your cousins are the sweetest people I've ever met. You're just trying to blame someone, because you know it's your fault. I'm so ashamed of you.'' Not a word was said as we trekked back to our respective cars. Once again, we had the upper hand. But, I wasn't satisfied with Mr. Cuddle's death, I wanted more blood. Human blood. Fahrsan's blood...

In the next chapter, Saria's stay in Pakistan is almost coming to an end. However, Fahrsan's jealousy of the relationship shared between her and Assef is brought to the forefont, causing Assef to plot vengeance upon the boy for hurting his sister...

Thanks to everyone who reads and reviews thus far... Please keep them coming, thank you :)

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