1: Bieber

All I could hear in my head was that one name. It felt like I had been forced to hear it replay in my head for years.
Bieber. Bieber. Bieber.
It never stopped and perhaps it never will...
It always brought trouble, yet it always brought happiness..
Will it ever end?
© 2012 by beliebervision. All Rights Reserved.


8. Chapter 8


I couldn’t even look at her for the rest of the day. She just sat on the couch and stared at nothing. I felt like she wanted to leave even more now because she knew I was starting to like her. It just felt like I used all of my courage to do that for nothing. And I know I’ve said other things about her that has nothing to do with liking her but there was just something about her being here, and her constant questioning, and how she broke the rules and wasn’t intimidated by me that opened my eyes.

Ever since my mother was killed, due to my business, I’ve hated everyone and everything except Ryan and Chaz. They were the only people who understood what it was like, and they were the only ones that I let into my life after that. Peyton just reminds me of my mom. She’s small, long dark hair, kind of annoying, cute, and stuff… I don’t really know how to explain it but I just want her to mean something more than the girl who took my gun.

I stood awkwardly in the kitchen by myself and just watched her sit. I couldn’t tell what she was feeling. Was it scared? Anxious? Sad? Surprised? I had no idea. As much as I wanted to go over there and explain to her every single detail about my life, I didn’t because I know she’d push me away.

I decided to just put the thoughts away and return to my normal, aggressive self. I grabbed another beer out of the fridge and walked over to the couch that was across from the one Peyton was on.

My body felt good after drinking. It only took about 3 giant swigs, but it was good. Peyton was still staring into space, looking like she’d fall asleep any minute but she was fighting against it. My eyes were starting to close as well but I wanted nothing to do with sleep, I wanted to get drunk. Just to drown away all of the feelings. Because Justin Bieber doesn’t feel anything, and he never will.

I got up from the couch. Peyton was slowly drifting into sleep as she repositioned herself into a more comfortable position. A small part of me just wanted lay down and cuddle with her, but the other part kept screaming: Justin Bieber feels nothing. I grabbed all of the beer I could find and brought it down to the basement, where I found Ryan and Ryan. I told them what was up, offered the beer, and the idea of getting totally wasted to drown out all of my feelings that have been building up inside of me.

Then I realized that it’s only been 3 days being involved with this girl, and one day of her being at my house. Maybe it would be a good idea to let her go home? So I could move on with the business and not have to worry about her.

I let out a big sigh and sat down on a chair. “Guys?” I asked.

Ryan and Ryan looked up at me, surprised that I actually spoke again.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not just going to stay silent about this.”

It was Ryan Good who spoke up. “Justin, stop stressing about everything.” he said. “Lately you’ve been doing that and it’s not good.”

“I know but-" I tried to argue.

“Let’s just get wasted like you originally planned.” he smirked. “Then we can worry about the girl later.”

“But its ten,” I stated. “We have to decide if we want to let her go or not, and if we do let her leave, she has school tomorrow.”

Ryan Butler lifted an eyebrow. “Are you serious? You can’t possibly care about all of this.”

I thought for a moment. “You’re right, I don’t!” I laughed. “C’mon lets drink!”

They stared at me for a moment.

“Cause that’s what all of you want to do, right?!” I asked.

They shrugged and each grabbed a beer.

I smirked “Great. Let’s drown out some feelings boys.” I said, and grabbed two beers for myself “This will be a good night.”


Hours had passed and there was still beer to drink. I felt sick, like I was going to blow up any second but I also felt amazing, like I was on top of the world. Peyton was still asleep upstairs. I knew this because I had absentmindedly gone up to get more beer and she was still on the couch sleeping. Ryan Good had decided to hit the road and head home a while ago, so it was just Ryan Butler and I. I wanted to talk but every time I tried, my words were slurred so bad that Ryan couldn’t tell what I was trying to say. I remember him suggesting to me that I go upstairs and sleep but I guess I had refused and decided to drink more. Sooner than I thought, I was puking my guts into whatever I could find. But after that I felt better, so I drank even more.

I knew I was overreacting about all of this. But feelings hurt more than a gunshot wound, so technically I was saving myself. After drinking the last beer, and puking once more, I decided to try to head up to bed. That was upstairs though, which would be impossible to get to while I was in this drunken state. I tried anyways, only to find myself on the floor after many falls down the stairs. Finally, I gave up and tried to walk over to the couch that was down in the basement. But as I was getting up I heard footsteps behind me and before I could react, everything went black.



Sleeping was hard. Justin’s couch wasn’t that comfortable and it wasn’t the same as being home. There were multiple times where I was just about to drift into a deep sleep when the sound of bottles knocking together came from the kitchen. My instinct told me that it was nothing to worry about, just Justin grabbing beer, but as time went on the clatter became louder and it became harder and harder for me to fall asleep.

There were sweet moments where I had managed to get some shuteye but those moments didn’t come very often. Loud voices could be heard from beneath me and the sound of bottles smashing to the floor came quite often as well. I tried different methods to block out the sounds. Such as suffocating my ears with pillows or rolling into a ball. Those didn’t turn out to be that effective though.

It’s not that I was tired. My mind just kept thinking back to what Justin had said. It was only about an hour ago, so it was still a fresh memory.

“Because I’m starting to like you, okay?” He barked. “Is that what you wanted?”

And he kissed me.

And I kissed back.

And then he let go, much to my dismay. He turned around to look at me one last time before slamming the door.

I stood there for a moment, still surprised.

Then I, too, reluctantly went inside.

He was just so mysterious that it made me angry. Does he just tell every girl that he likes them and leaves?

Anyways, I gave up trying to sleep because the noise was just too unbearable. I sat up on the couch and looked around. There was no one to be seen, and it was awfully quiet now.

Oh so now the noise dies down.

I contemplated about if I should get up and look around, or try to sleep again. I was fully aware that I had school tomorrow but I figured Justin was going to make me stay even though I wanted to leave more than ever now.

I let out a big sigh and hoisted myself off of the couch. As I stretched my muscles I looked around again. To my surprise, there were some unusual things placed on the kitchen counter. I tiptoed over to the kitchen to examine whatever was over there.

My eyes grew wide as my gaze fell over the items.


And Knives.

I quickly retreated from the kitchen, wanting nothing to do with the weapons. My wandering eye drifted to the stairs that led down to the basement where all of the noise was coming from. I wanted to go down there really badly but something told me that I shouldn’t. Then again, I am a rule breaker… So I decided to just go for it because I have nothing better to do.

The first thing I saw when I reached the stairs was beer bottles, and lots of them. The amount of bottles grew with every step I took. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hardly see the floor because of all the cans and bottles.

But I did notice one other thing on the floor and as I grew closer I realized what it was.

It was Justin, out cold, and covered with blood. 

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