Merlin confesses the truth to Arthur


1. A Confession

While having dinner, Merlin realised that Arthur had to know. He rushed really quickly to Arthur's chambers. He was so fast that if your grandma was this fast you woud have a really fast grandma.

When he arrived at Arthur's chambers he opened the door aggressively.

"How dare thou interrupts me?" screamed Arthur in a girly voice, sounding like a choking female hyena with rabies.

"Let's play Chinese Whispers" said Merlin, "I shall start because I am James Car Stairs and you should have seen how I ran up those stairs to your chambers like a Honda."

"No," Arthur said, "I am the King so I shall start. Ni hen piao liang." he said into Merlin's big red ear.

"That's very nice Arthur, but I don't understand because I am Will Herondale. Now it is my turn to show you how it is done. Are you prepared for a partay??"

"Fine," Arthur said, "bring it. Touch me touch me touch me like an Android phone."

"I..." said Merlin, his mouth stretching to form the vowel, and then his jaws closing upon his teeth to form the 'ee' sound. Together this made 'ah-ee', a series of noble warriors that formed to make the tall letter 'I' that loomed over Arthur like a tall person.

"You what Merlin?" said Arthur, braying like a donkey, plagued by the curiosity that affected his very cat that died yesterday. He is still sad about this so you should not talk about this in front of him or you will offend his poor baby bottom.

"I am..." said Merlin.

To Arthur this sounded like a philosophical statement of great importance that could come from the very mouth of Socrates.

"I think, therefore I am" said some wise dude many years ago.

Sin duda.

"I am a..." said Merlin.

"No," said Arthur, "you are M, and I am A, for I am Arthur which begins with A, and you are Merlin which begins with M."

"I am a m-" said Merlin.

"No," said Arthur, "you are not mmm for you are not delicious like the poo that dribbles softly from my butt cheeks and plops gently into the bowels of the toilet which did not exist in Medieval times but oh well because I am a professional Author and I can do what I want."


Arthur screamed and pooped himself.


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