Ooh, Burn

Harry and the boys have just read an amusing Fan fiction of them taking in a broken girl from off the streets. Later that day, Harry is taking a walk, he hears a strange noise. A girl is sitting there with a knife, slashing her wrists deeply. She looks up at him.....
A/N. This is just a joke! it's a short story. Take no offence to it or whatever. it's kind of an anti- fanfic


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*So this will just be a short story, and some people will despise the ending. Or the middle. Or the start. It's just a joke.*

Harry's pov.

"Louis picked me up and held me, walking out of the alley with me in his arms." Louis read out dramatically. He passed the laptop over to Niall's hands and he read the next paragraph aloud.

"He was whispering into my ear, saying, 'as soon I heard you, I knew I had to save you. Why would you ever try and kill yourself? You are just too beautiful and your eyes are so pretty and-'" he stopped in the middle of that long and boring sentence  then made the disgusted noise in the back of his throat. "Ugh do I have to read this paragraph?!?!"

Louis grumbled. "How do you think I feel?"

Niall shoved the laptop off his lap and Zayn caught it, leaning up with a laptop in his hand, looking extremely proud of his self. "Fine then, I will read." He cleared his throat and took up a very high pitched girly voice. "Oh. My father beats me and rapes me, my mother is dead, killed by him I think. And my brother is never home," he began at the next paragraph," 'I just needed to  get away from it all.' I looked into her deep blue eyes and..."

Zayn swore under his breath. "Fuck this, Niall's right. I can't read this." By now Louis had hid head firmly squished in a pillow. Liam snatched the laptop and started on a whole new chapter. "You lads suck at telling stories." His eyes scanned the page, he grinned a few times then started. "I took Leanne home. I decided she was just too precious to lose. I laid her on my couch and told her I'd be right back. I went and grabbed some first aid thingies. I told her to take off her shirt. Leanne looked at me and said if she had to, I had to too. So I did-"

"Oh, yeah," Niall snorted, "because that's the most natural conversation. 'Let me try and help you with your wounds-', 'take your shirt off.' Honestly Tommo, what do you think?"

At this time Lou was cringing so hard in to my shirt, tears dripping down his face. "Just go on," he croaked into my shirt. I wasn't sure if he was crying from embarrassed or how bad the story was....

Liam scrolled down, skipping some stupid parts. "Ahh here we go. A part about me. Well, us. 'Soon I was all patched up and ready to go, Lou had done a great job healing me. He said I was to meet the boys of his band. When they first came, I thought Liam was tall, Niall was a cute blondie, Harry's hair fit him and Zayn was bloody fit." He raised his eyebrow at Zayn.

Zayn laughed. "Of course. who would not assume I am bloody fit?"

Liam just read on. "...Zayn was bloody fit, but he could never could compare to Louis or how I felt about my Boobear."

"Ha!" Lou threw a pillow at Zayn. "Leanne likes me better!"

"Mate you know she's a character?" asked Zayn skeptically.


"Shuttup!" Liam bellowed, "I just skipped to the good part." We all settled down, as I pulled Louis back from Zayn. "Okay so, hmm I'll start here. 'Louis lead me up the stairs in the dark. We fumbled along, until he pushed me up onto the bed. We undressed and he came towards me-'"

"Stop, Stop, STOP!" Lou cried, lunging at the computer. Niall was roaring with laughter while Zayn made kissy faces at Lou. Liam jumped up with the laptop and kept reading louder. "He put it inside of me and I just said, Oh my God Louis, you are so HUGEEEE!'" Liam stopped again because he was laughing too hard and could not go on. He placed the laptop down, and Louis stopped as well and glanced at his crotch. We collapsed. This story was too funny. Cheers to Niall for thinking of the idea of reading some fanfiction.

"Oh my God," Louis said horrified. "I never needed to hear that. Oh God, do they just imagine what it is like? Holy shit I can't ever look at girls the same. How do they all think of this?" Zayn just chuckled as everyone started to calm down. He smirked at Louis standing, unsure near the couch. Zayn read over the screen, "You may want to sit down for this Lou." 

Louis sank down and Zayn tried to read again. "A month later. 'Do you, Louis take Leanne to be your wife?" Those were the words I had been waiting for ever since I had first saw her sitting there cutting in that alley way. 'I Do,' I heard myself say. I leaned in and kissed her. This was perfect."

Zayn stopped and quickly snapped shut the laptop. "The end. Well, that was a fun story. I say we do another tomorrow?" He grinned wickedly, I reached over. "Hell yes!" 

Niall groaned, "Sure as long as there are none about me and I don't have to read a lovey dovey part."

Louis was laying, with his face into the couch. "Oh my god....Never again are we reading, ever!" His voice was muffled, so Liam cupped his hand to his ear. 

"What's that, Lou, you loved it and want us to read one about you everyday?! That's just great!" He smirked and pulled him up into a sitting position. "Aww look how red he is!" I was going to taunt Lou some more, but Niall came over to me and asked if I could walk down the block to get him a coffee. "Lou want anything?" I called over my shoulder.

"My innocence and pride back," he muttered. 

"Not going to happen. Well, be right back." I walked out of the flat and into the mid afternoon air. I passed a small break in the cement buildings. They were just dark passages in the city. Ha-ha wouldn't it be ironic if....

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