Pinkie Promise

Gwen sees herself as merely a pretty face, too shy and too careful to live her life. She lives everyday in fear of encountering the same fate as her mother: rape. All Gwen wants is to feel like a normal person. Nobody but her closest friends knows about her illegitimate birth, but she can't help but feel isolated, even from her brother and sister, who don't know how it feels to know that your Dad, the man who's lived in her house since she was three, isn't her Father. She wants to come out of her shell, but she's afraid to trust and afraid to live- until she meets someone who leads the lifestyle she longs for.

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5. Hot Chocolate

I pushed through the door, the cold air bustling around me. My teeth chattered, shaking my entire jaw. I absolutely hated the cold right now.

"Paige, come help me put up these groceries!" I called. When she didn't come, I poked my head in the family room, only to find that Paige and Michael were in the exact same position I had left them. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the kitchen, deciding that she would probably only slow me down.

As I restocked the fridge, I couldn't help but think of Harry and his invitation to have a snow ball fight. Did he really care that much? Or was he just doing it to be polite? I conjure and image of his face in my mind, the curls, his wide nose, those green eyes. I don't know if this is my imagination or not, but in my head, his eyes are absolutely amazing. They had so many dimensions, they looked as if they just went on and on. I could easily drown in them, seeing as they were as deep as the ocean.

I laughed to myself as I reminded myself that I was being stupid. It was my imagination, nothing else. I had never seen his eyes up close, and I didn't intend to. He was just a normal teenage boy, and I had a boyfriend anyway.

I definitely did not need to be thinking of other boys.

I closed the cabinet, now finished with the groceries. I was beginning to have second thoughts about going to see the boys. Auguste was protective, but he a right to be. His last girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend, and now he hated both of them. That was how we became close. He came to me for support, and after a while it turned to something more.

However, he also needed to know that I would never do to him what Ellie did to her. I was too afraid. After I learned what happened to my mother, I began to live in fear of it happening to me. I stopped wearing bright bras that could be seen through my shirt. I became quieter, even though I was already a calm child. I didn't wear slutty mini-skirts. When I went to parties, I didn't get drunk. Anything that could make boys think I was like that I left.

If Auguste knew I was going he wouldn't be happy. He wouldn't scream and we wouldn't argue, but he would just cease to call or text for a few hours.  

All the same, it was a risk I was willing to take. I wasn't cheating, right? 

I shook my head, pushing the pessimistic thoughts away. It wasn't cheating. He had friends that were girls, why couldn't I have friends that were boys?

I pulled out my phone and checked the time. 2:07. It had been about an hour since I had agreed to meet up with them, and they were probably wondering if I was actually going to show up.

"Okay!" I said happily as I returned to the family room. The movie had just ended. "Go get on your coats!"

"Where are we going?" Michael asked, excited.

"It's a surprise!"

"Why won't you tell us now?" Paige challenged.

"Because it would ruin the surprise!"

Paige rolled her eyes. "Now go get on your coat!" I said, shooing them up the stairs.

When Paige and Michael came scrambling down the stairs, they each had on their thick winter coats.  I notice Paige had made a special effort to look cute. She was wearing a dark purple coat on top of her light wash skinny jeans. She had wrapped a patterned pinkish scarf around her neck and had a matching hat to go with it. The only thing that didn't fit in with the whole pink/purple scheme was her mittens, which were gray, but she somehow managed to pull it off anyway.

Michael, on the other hand, had his blue and red Spiderman coat inside out. He was too young to care about appearances, he was only seven. However, I didn't really think he would care when he was my age, either. "Michael, honey, your coat's inside out," I sighed, exasperated.

"It's reversible!" He whined.

"No, it's not, that's your other one," I said, leaning down to fix his coat.

"Oh."

He waited patiently as I took off his coat and put it back on, arranging the hood so that his head would be covered. Behind me, I could hear Paige snickering. "Alright, come on," I said, pulling open the door. I shivered, having forgotten how cold it was.

It was snowing again, and as we walked, I lost myself in the beauty of it. It snowed every winter, yet it never ceases to amaze me. It looked like someone had sprinkled powdered sugar over the yards of each of the little houses. Smoke was puffing from most every chimney, and if I squinted through the windows, I could see families curled up on their couches with books and mugs of hot cocoa.

Beside me, Michael was jumping in each mound of snow that we approached. Paige walked a little bit behind me, her hands shoved inside her pockets. Her lips were already blue and her teeth were chattering. I quickly realized mine were too. I just hoped she would warm up.

After Michael was born, I began taking more of a responsibility in my family. I didn't know what it was, but it definitely had something to do with my Mother being raped. I wanted to protect Michael and Paige from anything bad happening to them, I wanted them to feel loved. I had never really felt like I belonged. My Mother told me that really, she was glad she had me, that she would go through it all again for me, and I had tried to believe it. But deep down, I couldn't help but feel that if she could go back and change what happened, she would.

I approached the house where I had met the boys and heard the familiar shouting and laughing. Paige looked at me,  confused and slightly disgusted, which I returned with a knowing smile. "Shut up!" She yelled, fighting back a laugh. I didn't really understand what was funny, but watching her try to understand just pushed me over the edge. I started giggling uncontrollably. Within a few seconds, Paige was also laughing hysterically. Michael continued to hop through piles of snow, completely oblivious to anything.

"Gwen!" I recognized Niall's Irish accent.

I picked up my pace and made my way to the yard. I managed to stop laughing enough to reply. "Hey!"

Soon all the boys were huddled up around us. They looked the exact same as I had left them an hour ago. "Um, This is my sister, Paige, and my brother, Michael," I said, gesturing to them. Paige smiled shyly, but Michael behind my leg. he never really liked strangers.

Louis squatted down so that he was eye level with Michael. "Hi, there!" He said cheerfully. Michael didn't reply. "I'm Louis."

Michael hesitantly gave him a small wave, still clinging tightly to my leg. Louis laughed, his blue eyes lighting up. 

"You look a little cold," Liam said, sounding genuinely concerned. He gave me a rather piercing state from beneath his eyebrows. I was about to reply when Paige interrupted me. 

"I'm freezing!" She spat. 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't even going to try to reason with her. She would be rude no matter what I tried. 

Thankfully, the boys didn't seem to notice. If they did, they didn't care. "Why don't we go inside?" Harry asked. "When we warm up we can come out and have our snowball fight?" He grinned playfully. 

I nodded. "That sounds fine. Paige?" I asked, turning to her. She stayed silent. 

We trekked through the yard to the front door, which was decorated with wreaths. Frost lined the edges. When Harry pushed the door open, a rush of warm air surged through me, like stepping into a warm shower. 

The house was fairly big. From what I could see, there was a large kitchen with granite countertops, a dining room, and a family room with a large telly hooked up on the wall. There were two long stair cases, one leading up and one going down. 

The boys migrated quickly to the family room, apart from Harry, who had retreated to the kitchen. They all fell onto the big, plush couch rather ungracefully. There was a bright, crackling fire burning steadily in the fireplace, occasionally making a loud SNAP! as a log fell into the ashes. 

I collapsed into a nearby chair, Michael climbing onto my lap. "I think Hazza's making hot cocoa," Liam said quietly. 

"Oh-bless him," I sighed. I was only warming up a bit, hot cocoa was exactly what I needed. 

"So, how come we've never seen you in the neighborhood before?" Louis asked politely. 

"We just moved," Paige answered simply. 

"Oh. Where from?" 

"A few streets down."

"Why?" Liam interrupted. 

I wrinkled my nose. "My mum said she fancied a larger house." 

"Don't we all?" Zayn asked, shrugging. 

I laughed quietly. "I guess."

"I have my own room now!" Michael piped up. The boys laughed heartily. 

Paige contorted her face. "Thank god. He was sharing with me. He kept leaving his toy cars all over my bed."

Louis took on a serious face. "A man's gotta have his trucks!" 

I rolled my eyes again. 

Out of the corner of my eyes I saw Harry slowly making his way down the long hallway. He was balancing eight mugs on a tray, waking inch by inch. 

"Cocoa!!" Louis screamed. He held his hands out and waited for Harry to give him his mug. 

Meanwhile, Harry was passing out the rest of the drinks. I waited patiently for mine, though it didn't take long. He handed Paige hers, then Michael, in a little plastic mug. After explaining to Michael that he should blow on it so as not to burn his tongue, I got mine. 

Of course, I ignored my own advice and immediately sipped from mine. It burned my tongue, but all the same, it tasted wonderful. It reminded me of when I was little and my mother would make me and Paige hot cocoa and play movies for us all winter. I loved it.

A/N

Hey thank you so much for reading my movella, it means so much to me!! However, I really want to improve my writing and I don't know how. Please comment below ways to improve! thank you!!

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