Pinkie Promise

Gwen sees herself as merely a pretty face, too shy and too careful to live her life. She lives everyday in fear of encountering the same fate as her mother: rape. All Gwen wants is to feel like a normal person. Nobody but her closest friends knows about her illegitimate birth, but she can't help but feel isolated, even from her brother and sister, who don't know how it feels to know that your Dad, the man who's lived in her house since she was three, isn't her Father. She wants to come out of her shell, but she's afraid to trust and afraid to live- until she meets someone who leads the lifestyle she longs for.

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4. Always...

I sat at home, enjoying the comforts of my home. I was curled up on the couch with a velvety throw folded carefully around me. I was engaged in Mockingjay, unable to tear my eyes from the page, though it was my fourth time reading the book. A fire cracked in the fire pit, it's shadows dancing on the walls. On the floor sat Michael and Page, watching Elf intently.

I became even more engrossed in the book as my favorite part approaches. Katniss leans in to kiss Peeta, and he struggles to fight off 'shiny' memories. She begs him to stay with her, and he whispers, 'Always...'

No matter how much I have read this part, I always cry. Ever since I have been old enough to understand Disney movies, I have dreamt of finding the perfect love. That one boy who takes off his jacket so you can walk over a puddle. The boy who wakes you up with good morning texts. Katniss and Peeta have it. I wished I had a love like that.

My mind quicky flew to Harry. There was something in is smile that sparked inside me. I could tell he would be that boyfriend. He would take care of me.

I felt as if someone had punched me in the gut as I remembered that I had a boyfriend. I had that boyfriend. I couldn't be thinking of another, especially if I had only met him yesterday! Auguste would lay his favorite jacket in puddle so I could walk across, wouldn't he?

No, said a voice inside my head. He loves that coat. Why would he ruin it?

For me!  I thought desperately.

No, said the voice calmly.

I didn't believe it. I wouldn't. I didn't really care about him laying the jacket down, but did I really doubt him that much?

"Gwen, can you bake cookies for us?" Paige asked, bringing me out of my internal argument.

"Sure," I said quickly, wanting to get my mind off the topic. I made my way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to pull out the ingredients for my mother's homemade recipe, but there wasn't any.

"Ohh, we need groceries..." I said to myself. I reached under the toaster for the money my mom had left for food and shoved it in my pocket. "Paige, I'm going to the supermarket! Watch Michael for me, I'll be back within an hour."

I pulled on my coat and stepped out of the warmth of the kitchen. It was snowing, and there was already at least twelve centimeters or snow underfoot. The cold bit at me, and I sighed, knowing I would have to walk. There was no way I could drive in this weather.

It wasn't a long walk, but before long my teeth were chattering and I could feel my bones freezing over inside me. I trekked through the snow as it piled higher and higher. The only thing I could do to keep me from turning back was the thought of warm, homemade cookies.

Just as I turned the corner, I heard shouting and laughing. I rolled my eyes, assuming it was several children enjoying the snow, but as I got closer, I recognized voices too deep to be children's.

I was walking by the house, where five boys were chucking snowballs at each other. "That's no fair! we only have two people on our side!" shouted one boy with dark brown hair as he hurled another snowball.

"Shut up, Lou!" I recognized that voice. I had heard it before, somewhere.

"Gwen!"

Harry. It was Harry. And there was Niall, all dressed up in a patterned blue scarf and gloves without fingers.

"Gwen?" asked a boy with dark tan skin and a grey hat in confusion.

I kept my head down, pretending not to hear them. I didn't want to stay outside any longer than I had too, especially with strangers.

"Maybe it's not her," said Niall in his cute Irish accent.

"Shuddup Niall, it's her," He said quietly, but I could still hear him. "Gwen, I know you can hear me!"

I had no choice but to acknowledge him. I reluctantly raised my head. Harry got up and walked over to me, the boys following close behind.

"Aren't you cold?" I asked, my voice muffled by my scarf.

"Nah, we don't get cold," Harry answered, wrapping his arm around me. I wanted to pull away, I wanted him to stop touching me, but he was so warm that I just couldn't bring myself to do it. "This is Liam," He said, gesturing with his free hand to a tall boy with light, wavy brown hair.

Liam extended his hand to me, and I shook it. He was warm, and when he pulled away the cold swallowed my hand. "I'm Gwen," I said quietly.

"This is Louis," Harry continued, nodding towards the boy with dark brown hair.

Louis Extended his hand as well, but when I took it, he shook it vigorously with a posh look on his face. I giggled.

"Zayn," Harry said. The boy with the tan skin looked at me and nodded, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. From the way he was jumping up and down, I guessed he was the only one who got cold.

I awkwardly pulled my brown hair over my shoulder, uncomfortable and cold. I was silent, unsure of what to say. With each passing second it only got more awkward, and I wanted to get away more and more. Finally Niall spoke up, asking me if I'd like to stay and finish the snowball with them; they didn't have even teams.

"It's not fair!!" Louis complained. "Zayn doesn't do anything but sit there and shiver. I tried making him throw snowballs at them, but he said something about being 'cold'" He made quotation marks with his fingers as Zayn muttered something under his breath that sounded oddly like 'idiot.'

I smiled. "Sorry, I can't. I'm watching my sister and brother."

"No, you're not," Harry laughed. It wasn't challenging, more like amused. "You're right here!"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, well, I'm on my to the market to buy groceries, but I have to get back to them soon."

"What if you bring them after you go?" Liam asked eagerly.

It definitely made sense, and knowing Paige and Michael, they would love a chance to have a real snowball fight. Besides, I didn't think these boys would take no for an answer. "Okay..." I said hesitantly.

"Yes!" Niall shouted as he high-fived Louis. Harry squeezed me around my shoulder briefly before removing them. I tried to hide a smile, feeling special.

"Alright, so I'll be back in, like, 45 minutes?" I said, and turned to go. Once my back was turned, I allowed myself a small smile.

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