BABY,I Think You're my kryptonite

Ena Carter is B(best)F(friend) F(for life) with Harry Styles.She's in love with him since the day 1.He comes to Holmes Chapel and changes her life.A lot of things fade from her life but not Harry

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10. Only Harry

We did the identity check or how is it called.

It was them.

Bryan cried but I couldn't.

I didn't eat for days.

Didn't talk to anybody,except Harry.

We did the funeral in Croatia.

Cause my parents wanted it there.

We were there for a week now & I'm getting worse.& worse.I just keep closing to myself.I can't do anything really.I just wanna cry but I can't even do that.

"Ena! This needs to stop" Harry said walking into the room.I was sitting on the floor,my back were on the wall and I had my legs 'hugged'.

I didn't say a thing."Talk to me Ena." he said with his pissed off voice.I couldn't say a thing,or look at him.

"Please.I'm begging you" he said and came up to me,and sat next to me.He took my hand and put it on his thigh.And put his hand over mine.I looked at him.His eyes were filled with tears.So were mine.But in a different way.

"Please" he mumbled and kissed my hand."I can't Harry.I don't have the strength" i sighed."I know...but if you keep up with this...you're gonna get less & less,& you talk maybe 1 minute in a day with me" he said and put his hand round my waist.

"don't do it for me.do it for yourself" he leaned his head on me."we have to get ready.the flight is in 2 hours" he rubbed my hand and I looked at him.

We got up and stood there."Thank you for coming here, for me" I did the half-smile and looked deep into his eyes.

"I won't let you go.Ever" He leaned in and kissed me."I'm really lucky to have you" I hugged him really tight."thank you" I added & put my head on his chest.He rubbed my back with his hand and gently pressed his lips on my head."You're the best thing that happened to me" I smiled and closed my eyes

 

*

 I was away,In Manchester,I had my appointment,with my gynecologist.

I did the test 3 weeks ago,the week I was In Australia.It was positive.

Now I've been finally scheduled it.I don't think I am.Am I?

I mean we did it a lot,but still.I did feel like I am,when I did the test.

But now,nothing.It's like I-"Miss Carter I'm so sorry" My gynecologist told me.

What.

"Why are you sorry?" i asked,chills got me."I'm sorry...you had a miscarriage" I swallowed hard.

Chills got me.Tears started running down my cheeks."I'm so sorry" the woman came to me and hugged me.

"Why" I sighed."Take a deep breath" she told me and sat next to me."You could of had it if you received a big shock.Doesn't mean you meant it.It's " she rubbed my back.

"M-m-my parents died 2 weeks ago" There were a lot more tears on my face now."Oh Ena" I stuck my head on her shoulder and started crying.

"You need to rest.Try not to get upset,you're already vulnerable" she hugged me one more time."Yeah,I'll make sure not to" I smiled a bit and removed the tears from my face.

"Don't close yourself.Many people do that.That will just get yourself locked up tight in your thoughts and you'll crack one day.Don't do it for anyone but for yourself!" she said as she gave my documents.

"I've heard something like that before" I did a half-smile."From who?" she asked."Harry" I replied and took my bag.

"You know I always thought he was a wise young man" she smiled,in a way,and put her hand on my shoulder."I'm so sorry" I just looked at her and went outside.

I got to the car and locked the doors.I started crying.That was the only way I could express my feelings.Just cry my heart out.

I took my phone out.There was a missed call from Harry,I gnored it.

Typed El's phone number and called her."Calder" El picked up."Hey...It's Ena,I know we're not the closest but I'd really use a talk right now.Are you in Manchester?" I sighed and wiped my tears."Hey...yeah I'm on UNI,what happened?" she sounded woried."Yeah.I can't talk on the phone.Can we meet at Starbucks?" I asked."Yeah,yeah.How come you're in Manchester?"."Well,I had to go and do things" i said and turned the car."Oh,ok.See ya than" she said,she was really sweet."Thank you,yeah.See ya" I ended the call and drove off to Starbucks.

When I got there she wasn't there yet.I ordered latte x 2.And sat down by the window table.I looked down on the table.My mind played with my thoughts.I wanted to go home and sleep.Than I heard a familiar voice saying my name.

"Ena" El yelled across Starbucks."El" I got up and hugged her."Hey.Why so sad?" She asked as we sat by the table.

"Umm...something happened" i sighed.

"ELEANOR,ENA" the girl yelled,cause of our coffee.El went to get them.

"Thank you El" I smiled a bit."So what's up?You sounded really sad on the phone.Everything alright love?" she asked looking at me.

"Well,you know when I was at Australia the last time,with the boys?Well,I've been feeling weird,sick.I thought I should,you know make the test.And I did,It was positive &-" she interrupted me

"Omg,you're pregnant?!" She sounded all excited."Umm...I'm not done" i sighed in a sad,angry,messed up way.

"& I decided to go to my gynecologist.I didn't have time,so I did it today.You know cause of my parents.And today...I've been told...*sigh* I have had a miscarriage" i sighed big time and started crying.

"Awh,Ena.I'm so sorry" she hugged me.I didn't wanna let go."I can't believe how cruel life can be to you" she hugged me tighter.

"I'm so sorry you have to listen to me,but I don't have anyone to talk to these days" I said smiling in a weird way.We pulled away from the hug."Oh hun,It's alright,the only thing that matters is that  you're ok." she rubbed my arm.

 

We talked for two more hours.Than I just went to HC,cause you don't have long to get there,so I went to my house.

My house was empty,since Bryan & we decided that he lives with Anne since is right next to each other.She's his guardian now.

I went to my house and looked at everything.Went round the house.Everything was the same,as it had my parents in it still.I slept for a few hours on the couch and than I went to Anne's,I saw the lights there,in Bryans room.I knocked on the doors & Bryan opened.

"Sis,what are you doing here?" he hugged me."Well...I had to go to Manchester so I've decided to sleep here tonight,in HC,I don't feel like going on a plane in this hours."

"Are u ok?" he let me in and we went to his room."Yeah...I'm...I just have something to tell you." I sighed big time,and sat on his bed."What is it?" he asked & offered me a drink,i shook my head."Well...you know I'm with Harry?" i said and he cut me off.

"Yeah about that...I saw something today." than I cut him off "Can I just let this of my chest?" I asked.

He nodded."Well...since we've been together,you know...ok,I'm gonna skip that part,I bought pregnancy test and It was positive...but I found out today that I had amiscarriage " I sighed and I noticed the tear stream down my face.

He came closer and hugged me.So tight,that hug,that nobody can replace.brothers."I'm so sorry Ena" he hugged me tighter."I can't believe this acutally happened...you could of had been a uncle" I sighed and looked at him.

"Don't worry...everythings gonna be alright" He put his hand on my shoulder."How is it gonna be? I'm fucking 19,parents died and I lost a baby in a month" I put my hands over my face and cried.

"Ena....don't cry" he hug.Than someone opened the doors.I saw Gemma."Ena?What happened?" she came up to me.I sighed,I couldn't talk.Than I looked at Bryan.

"She-she's lost a baby" he whispered and sighed."What" she hugged me tight."I'm sorry" i said crying.

"Why are you sorry.I'm the one that should be telling you that?" she asked hugging me."It's my fault,I should have listened to Harry...he was right" i cried my soul out.

"Everything's gonna be okay love" she looked at me and wiped my tears."I can't take it.It's to much" I looked at the floor."C'mon let's go to the bathroom" she pulled me up and got me to the bathroom.

"How long?" she asked looking in the mirror."2 months...it think" i let out a little moan."Gosh I can't do this anymore." i said leaning over to the sink."Calm down love" she said giving me a wet towel."Did you tell Harry?" she asked.

"No...I don't think he even knows...idk...the other day he put his hands on my stomach" I got really upset ."Oh...he's gonna be hurt" she sighed "Like really bad" she added."I didn't mean too,you know.I was so happy.The night I had to flew to London I wanted to tell him I'm pregnant probably." i sighed.

"You need to tell him,as he gets more attached the more it will hurt him" she added."How can I tell him.I can't even go to London" I said and looked at my phone."He called me today,i missed it." I added.Sleep over tonight and tomorrow we'll drive you home,ok" she asked looking at me and hugging me."Ok" I closed my eyes.

"Now call Harry...he'll be worried" she added and left the bathroom.I wiped my tears and splashed water on my face,I looked at my red eyes.messy hair,tired face.I typed Harry's number.He didn't answer.I ended it and called Zayn.

"Hey Ena" Zayn sad with his happy voice."Hey Zayn" i sad with my tired sleepy crying voice."What happened?" he asked."nothing,just tell Harry to call me,I really need him right now." i sighed."Can you do that for me?" i asked."Sure..are you okay?" he asked with his whats-happening voice."yeah,yeah...except for the part that I had a miscarriage" I mumbled the last part."OK,talk to you later,b-bye" i ended the call and went to Gemma & Bryan.

I slept till 3 in the morning,than just stared at the wall.Till round 9.Than I got up & went for a shower.I put my sweatpants and converse on,and my sweater.And made a messy bun.

I went downstairs and there was Anne and Gemma."Morning" I mumbled and got to the 2 of them."How are you feeling Ena,I heard.I'm really,really sorry" she said with a serious voice,she really cared.I can only imagine what it's like to lose a grandchild."I'm so sorry" i sighed and sat down.

"I really can't get why is this all happenin to me" I said putting my hands on my face."You know,they say,you're given those things cause you'll be fine,you're strong enough" Anne added and rubbed my arm.

"I'm not strong" i added."Yes you are,you've gonne through parents death,living in another city,from your family.When you were a kid,all those thing.Remember?" she added and kissed my cheek.

"You're a real woman.It's not your fault it happened.You'll have a lot of kids one day"Gemma said to me."And my brother is going to be the happiest husband and dad in the world,you'll see.You're a real catch" She added."I love you both so much" I hugged them.

We spent the day talking,I decided to go to London,Gemma drove,cause she had to go pick something for Anne so we went together.She dropped me off.I went to our place,I opened the doors and saw newspapers on the floor.I picked the up.

THE SUN

One Direction's Harry Styles got Taylor moving

The couple had been seen last night in the club dancing together.

They came to the club holding hands,Taylor seen happier than ever.

We didn't forget the baby blue girl though.Liam Payne,Hazza's mate,shared a photo of Harry kissing a girl with baby blue hair at their apartment on twitter,her name's Ena Carter,Harry says they're best friends.What did Taylor say to that?We'll see soon.We doubt they didn't have fun last night.Don't believe it?Pitures of snogging Haylor below

"W-what?" I yelled across the apartment.Nobody was home.I picked up the rest of the newspapers and put them on the couch.I took a shower and changed into my plain bottom pjs and a cropped sweater after a shower.

I sat on the couch reading all the the articles.

I didn't cry,the only thing I did is punch the pillow,I hoped Harry would feel it.I called Perrie."Perrie?" i asked when she picked up phone."Ena?" she asked."Yeah it's me...did Zayn went clubbing last night?" i swallowed hard."Umm...I don't know.I wasn't home.What happened?" she replied."grab your "THE SUN" i said and sighed."Ok" i heard her newspapers ."Oh" she said and froze for a moment."Yeah.Thank you.Talk soon?Bye" I ended the call.

She texted me minute after: So sorry.Meet this week? xx

I replied: No need to.Yeah,I'd love to talk to you,have a lot of things on my mind lately xxx

I sat 2 hours on the couch waiting for Harry to turn up,at the doors.It was round 1 am I think,I was falling asleep.I heard his Range Rover.I looked over to the window and saw him.He was pulling something from the trunk.

I went to our room.And left the newspapers open so he could see.I sat on the edge of our bed.I heard him unlocking the doors.Than his shoes.They were making noise.He stopped and I saw the doors open.Than I looked at him."I thought you were asleep" he said not even looking at me and putting some thing on the table."Well...I'm not" i sighed.I looked over at him.

"I saw everything.You don't need to explain.I just wanna tell you something.You didn't just lose your baby today you lost your girlfriend...If I can even use that...sorry.. your best friend!" He looked at me.

I went to the living room."W-w-what did you say" he asked with his angry sad voice."Yes Harry,when you were off with your lovely taylor I was In Holmes Chapel crying out my heart,my soul with your family,cause you my friend lost a baby" i added,I was so pissed,I was on the edge of crying.

"You didn't even pick your fucking phone" I threw it on the floor."Ena!Can you hear me out first.And can you explain some things for me" he yelled and come closer.

"Remember the other day when you put your hand on my stomach,and you felt something *i put his hand on my stomach* well you're never gonna feel it again" I started crying.

"You win,you were right,I should have talked to you" i put my fists on his chest."I can't...I just can't I'm tired" I walked over to the doors and took my jackets.

"You know Styles,I actually thought you cared about me...I thought you  loved me Harry" i said sobbing."wait Ena,it's really late,There are weird people on the streets in this time.You're gonna get hurt" he grabbed my hand.

"I don't want you to go,I love you" he added.He put his hands on my cheeks and pressed his lips on mine."Why do I have to find this out in the news,from my friends,why do I even have to find out?" i said pissed off.

"How do you expect me to be with you?" I added "I don't wanna worry...i don't need to.Do you even now how I feel?" I asked."You don't need to worry,I will never do that to you.Never doubt in my love for you"He took my hand.

"Can we talk?" he added and we went on the couch.

(after 2 hours)

"Do you forgive me than?" he asked tighting up his hug."One condition" i said looking at his puppy eyes.

"You can never,ever agree on this bullshit about your relationship" i smiled "with me" i looked at his eyes and kissed his lips."And I have one condition" he said mumbling into our kiss."what is it?" i asked."never ever believe the bullshit.I don't need you to worry,you need to relax" he added and kissed my cheek.

 

hey every1.I cried when I wrote this.tell me what you think.I don't like using this sad but that are the truth(sadly) things but what can you do.sorry for mistakes.Happy NY if I don't post till NY's eve:) happy holidays,hope you're celebrating .I am,with my friends xxx

 

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