It's hard, dating the famous Niall Horan. But it gets only harder when your new bestfriend Zayn Malik loves you, more than just friends. After one crazy night you discover that deep inside, you want the same. Secret kissing, crying and lying becomes part of your life. How to deal with all this? But more importantly, how to choose?


13. Waves and Wondering


Things were awkward at breakfast the next morning. At least, in my head. Everyone was chatting, having a good time. Luckily they didn't know what was going on in my mind. I tried to avoid eyecontact with Zayn as much a could. I knew he noticed, by the look on his face, and his glances, but he didn't say anything about it. Good, I wasn't ready to talk to him yet. Everytime I looked at him, I couldn't help but think about the dream. The disgusted looks, the wedding, and those last words, 'Niall killed himself'. I wondered what all of that meant. I believe that dreams are a reflection of the subconscious mind, showing you something you didn't know yet, but definitely is there. Was the dream trying to tell me i'm in love with Zayn? No, that can't be it! I'm not.. That's just not an option! Maybe my brain is just a bit fucked up, after Zayn told me he loved me. Maybe I just have to keep on avoiding him, until I stop thinking about it. That's going to take a long time.. Speaking of thinking, I got to think a lot last night, about the relationship I have with Zayn, and the whole Ziz thing. Is it weird that I actually enjoy it when people say that I belong with Zayn? I guess I've watched too much soaps when I was little. But it is remarkable though. Sometimes, when he's sitting next to me on the couch, I just have the urge to hug or touch him. I don't know why, but it worries me. And at times, it's even more than that. It's like, their is sexual tension between the two of us. For example, yesterday when he tackled me during the game. It's not that I wanted to kiss him or something, but it did cross my mind. Maybe it's for the best that I don't speak to Zayn for a while, let me clear my head a little, and stop thinking about things that aren't there..

POV Zayn

After breakfast, we went to a little town, and visited a flee market. It was lovely to see a total different culture, while Portugal is not that far from England. That's one thing that has always fascinated me. We were interrupted by a couple Portugese fans, but over all we had a calm afternoon, buying stuff and wandering through the tiny streets. I tried to walk next to Liz, but she made sure she walked in between Niall and Dani. Yup, she was ignoring me. The big question is; why? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? She can't be mad about what happened on the soccer field, she acted normal during the evening yesterday. I had to talk to her, because I hated this. I just needed to speak to her in private. We had lunch in a small restaurant. I sat on the corner of the table, Niall next to me and Liz on the other side of him. Half way through, I saw his hand slipping in between her legs, resting on her inner thigh. Moments later, I heard her whisper; "Not now, honey!" "But Liz..." "Stop it, we're in public!" Ugghh..  She gave me a quick guilty look. I knew what she was trying to do the last few weeks. I'm not a total retard, she wanted to protect me. I tried to control my jlousy, and I think I've managed it so far. I mean, I don't mind anymore if they are holding hands or kiss. But I just can't stand it when they do more than that, something more sexual. The idea that Niall is the one making love to her at night, instead of me, makes my stomach turn.  When we arrived back at the villa, I went in my room and changed into my swimming trunks. The weather was much better today, the sun was shining bright again, so we decided to use the swimming pool for the first time. The boys were already in the water, Liz and Dani both layed on a sunbed, reading a magazine. "Why aren't you swimming?" I asked them. "Well, this is probably our only chance to get a tan!" Dani replied. Liz kept her eyes glued to the magazine. Damn, she looked good in that pink bikini. The boys were wrestling in the water, and I decided to join them. After half an hour of pushing people under water, and getting pushed myself, I was exhausted, so I layed myself in the sunbed next to the girls, to dry up. Liam and Harry went into the kitchen to prepare dinner, and Louis and Niall continued to wrestle. How come they are not tired? 5 minutes later, Liz put her magazine next to her. "Niall honey, can you put sunscreen on my back? I can't reach it myself." "I'm sorry princess, I'm all wet. I don't think that's a smart idea!" Dani wanted to say something, but I was ahead of her. "I can do it." She looked at me like I just spoke with a foreign language. "That's...okay." "Ah come on, it's just me! I would be happy to help you." I said while resting my hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" She quickly got up, and started to walk away. "Where are you going?" Niall shouted. "Just leave me alone!" She replied back. Everyone looked at me in shock. I just shook my shoulders, letting them know that I didn't have a clue either. I really didn't.

POV Liam

I was putting the plates on the kitchen table, when I heard Harry cursing from the other side of the kitchen. I turned my head, and saw a little stream of blood coming from his finger. "What happened?" I said, trying to hold in my laugh. "Cut myself while slicing the tomato's." "Here, let me do it. Why did I let you help again?" Before Harry could answer that question, The door swung open and Zayn ran in. "Hey guys, do you know where Liz is?" "I think she's down at the beach, why?" "I need to see her.." He left through the backdoor. Harry and I looked at each other, and we were thinking the same thing. "And still they wonder why the world thinks they are a couple." I say. Harry smirks. "What do you think?" "Idunno, Haz. I don't know what's up with these two. It reminds me of you and Louis back on the x-factor." "So you're saying they could be together." "Hard to say, I don't think they're in love with each other but.. I think it's for the best that they stay friends. You know how Zayn can be." "I know, I don't want her to get hurt. Everybody know's how protective I am about her. If he ever did something to hurt her, if anyone did, that person is dead." I loved this side of Harry. It's the same with Lux, he acts like a older brother around them. "But you have to be honest," He continues. "They would make a perfect pair." I knew Harry was right. "Maybe we have to keep an eye on them." Dani walked in and hugged me around the waist. "Mmm, it smells good!" Speaking about perfection, it was standing right beside me at the moment..

POV Zayn

I walked out of the kitchen and onto the beach. As soon as my bare feet touched the hot sand, I relaxed a little. The sun was already setting, pink and orange shades filled the sky. She sat on one of the rocks, about 100 meters away, in her white summerdress and pink sunglasses. The ones like Blaine had in that episode of Glee. Sigh.. This was just an example of how this girl has influenced my life. I walked over to her, and slowly sat down, so I wouldn't slip. She just kept staring forward. I watched how the waves crashed against the rocks, how the water reflects the evening sun. This was just a major deja vu from that time on the balcony, the way we both remained silent, waiting for the first one to talk. Only this times the tables were turned. She was the one that had some explaining to do, not me. "Why have you been ignoring me all day?" She took of her sunglasses, and put them in her hair, revealing those baby blue eyes. She narrowed them. "I guess I owe you an explanation, don't I?" I shrugged. "Kinda yeah!" "I dreamed about you last night. About.. the potential future we would have if you and I were together. I saw our marriage, our kids. It scared me, Zayn!" "Alright.. But then why are you avoiding me?" "She closed her eyes." You know how I think about dreams, right? It freaked me out, why is the dream telling me i'm in love with you?" "But are you?" A long pause followed, tears forming in her eyes. "No I don't think so.." It felt like my heart was ripped apart. But then she continued. "But I'm attracted to you." And with those words, she put a bandage on my heart. This girl is the only one who gets me through a rollercoaster of emotions, in only seconds, and I loved it. "R-really?" "Yeah.. You must have noticed the tension between us.. It's like a never leaving desire, you know?" I was shocked by how open she was. "I have the same thing, but that's not a big suprise.. I just want to kiss you once." "Maybe we should.." What did she just say? "Kiss? But what about Niall?" "Well, I obviously don't want to hurt him, so maybe the tension will go away when we kiss, and then the problem is solved.. Right?" I couldn't believe this! I've been craving for this moment for months, but know it was there, and it felt strange. I looked up at her, and I saw the same longing in her eyes. Yup, there was the tension again.  I nodded my head, slowly. I looked around, there was no way anyone could see us from here, no paparazzi, and especially, nobody from the house. When I looked back at Liz, she had closed her eyes. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers, a little rougher than I meant too. Soon enough, she kissed me back, gentle but passionate. This was by far the most amazing kiss I've ever had. The first time I kissed Perrie, there were fireworks, but it was nothing compared to this. It was more than fireworks, it was thunder and lightning. I put my hand on her neck, pulling her as close as I could, and asked for entrance with my tongue. She granted it, and layed her hands on my chest. The kiss got deeper and deeper, and I forgot the existence of time, it could have been seconds, but it also could have been an hour, when she pulled away. 


We were both panting when I pulled away. My lips immediatly felt cold. My hands still layed on his chest, I could hear his heartbeat go fast. I wasn't sure if I just made the biggest mistake in my life, or something I should've done way earlier. I thought Niall was a good kisser.. He is, don't get me wrong, but Zayn is like the god of kisses. "Wow.." I said through my heavy breaths. "You can say that." Then we heard Dani call from the kitchen, that dinner was ready. We both got up and walked back to the house in silence. Right before we walked in, I grabbed his arm. "Thank you for doing this, I hope it didn't make your.. crush worse." But I already knew the answer by the look on his face. "Don't worry about it, love. By the way, be careful cause your lips are a little bit swollen." He said, and then walked inside, leaving me behind. I was really confused, but there was one thing I knew for sure. The kiss absolutely didn't help me get over my desires, it only made me want him more.


A/N:  I feel so guilty for letting you wait this long! So I hope you love the first 'real' Ziz moment :) I can't promise you anything about the next chapter, because I'm in the middle of my testweek, so it could take a while before it will be uploaded. I know most of you don't read the author's note, but I want to ask a question to the people who do: On which side are you? I have my preference (ssshh don't tell XD) but I really want to know yours. So: TEAM ZIZ OR TEAM LIALL?? Also, I appreciate all the nice comments so far, if you have any feedback, please let me know! Now I'm going to go sleep! XOXO

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