The Funny Poems

Laugh your head off while reading these poems as they take you for an adventure in funny land...

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2. Clothes

A Shoelace


I've tried and tried to tie you, shoe.
I've never done it yet.
A loop that flip-flops on the floor
Is as close as I can get.
I've practiced on spaghetti.
I've practiced on the mop.
I've practiced on my sister
Until she made me stop.
So here's the loop again, shoe.
I'll hold it with my thumb.
I'll wrap the other end around...
And yank it into bows.
It's done!



If Your Clothes Have Any Colour
(to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It")

If your clothes have any red, any red,
If your clothes have any red, any red,
If your clothes have any red,
Put your hands up on your head,
If your clothes have any red, any red.

If your clothes have any blue, any blue,
If your clothes have any blue, any blue,
If your clothes have any blue,
Put your finger on your shoe,
If your clothes have any blue, any blue.

If your clothes have any green, any green,
If your clothes have any green, any green,
If your clothes have any green,
Wave your hand so you are seen,
If your clothes have any green, any green,

If your clothes have any yellow, any yellow,
If your clothes have any yellow, any yellow,
If your clothes have any yellow,
Laugh like a happy fellow,
If your clothes have any yellow, any yellow.
ha, ha, ha!

If your clothes have any white, any white,
If your clothes have any white, any white,
If your clothes have any white,
Give a hug with all your might,
If your clothes have any white, any white,

If your clothes have any black, any black,
If your clothes have any black, any black,
If your clothes have any black,
Pat your neighbour on the back,
If your clothes have any black, any black,

If your clothes have any brown, any brown,
If your clothes have any brown, any brown,
If your clothes have any brown,
Make a smile like a clown,
If your clothes have any brown, any brown.



Getting Dressed

Isn't dressing depressing?

Button the buttons
Snap the snaps
Hook the hooks and
Zip the zippers
Tie the ties and
Strap the straps and
Clasp the clasps and
Slip the slippers
Buckle the buckles and
Knot the knots and
Pin the pins and
Lace the laces
Loop the loops and
Lock the locks and
Belt the belts and
Brace the braces—

What I like the best is my own skin—
That is the dress I'm always in.








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