Searching For That One Love.

(Harry Styles fanfiction)

Harry and May have been friends since they were 10. Her parents split and ever since then she hardly sees her father... Searching for love that only a father can give. Will May give up on the search or will it push her too her limits and make her do something she might regret? Will Harry be able too save her heart with his?

Join Harry and May on a roller-coaster of life and feelings...

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1. Selfish

 

                I woke up and all I could see was white... Was I dead? Is this how heaven looks like?

"You're so selfish..." Came Harry's weak voice...

I remember...

----

"They say it's a long way down," came Harry's voice from behind me. My heart was racing and my grip was loosening.

"I'm gonna do it!" I shouted to him, tears streaming down my face, "I can't stand the pain anymore..." I took a pause and looked beneath my feet, I was pretty high, and the deep blue water beneath me was calling me to jump.

"So hiding from your problems is you answer?" he questioned me, as he took a step closer.

"Stay back!" I shouted, "I'm not hiding, I'm solving it. It doesn't matter whether or not I'm alive. Nobody cares!... 'He' doesn't care." I kept leaning forward.

"Your being completely selfish!" he shouted back.

"WHAT?" I screamed back, "I'm the one being selfish? Who's asking me to live in pain for the rest of my life?".

"You're so stuck with wanting love from one person, you ignore all the love surrounding you. You have no idea how much people love you because... you push them away." he said the last part in a whisper.

"I push away so I don't get hurt. ever. again!" I spat the words out, "I've learnt the hard way, and I..." I began to say but he cut me off, "What about your family? They've already lost enough, are you willing to put them in that situation again? And what about you little sister, how much pain can she endure? How much are you willing to put her in? She looks up to you!" All his questions were roaming around my head.

"Harry, STOP!" I screamed, as more tears streamed down my face, "You can't always get what you want, even though your famous and all, you can't make people do things they don't want to do.".

"I don't always get what I want," he shouted back, "And everyone would agree that what your attempting is ridiculous!" he stepped forward once again, my grip loosening again.

"Harry," I whispered... and turned to face him. I realized he had tears streaming down his face as well, "Everyone would be better off without me. I'm just doing everyone a favour without them really asking  for it. And I'll be happy." I smiled a bit, thinking about happiness and how long I haven't felt happy.

"You sicken me!" he spat the words out to me, I simply shook my head.

"See I'll be doing you a favour too, you won't have to be reminded of me, anymore." he shook his head in disproval, "I'm going where I feel like I belong." I whispered.

"Shouldn't I decided whether or not I want a favour or not? What about my feelings in all this?" he said as more tears descended his face, "You won't do it," he shouted, anger raising in his voice, "I don't want you to do it!... I love you!" as he said those three last words I removed my grip and allowed myself to fall into the blackness. I love you too, is what I wanted t respond but I didn't say anything, allowing the blackness to engulf my body.

But let's go back 8 years ago, where it all began...

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"Go to your room," mommy told me as she pecked my cheek, I ran to give daddy a hug and descended the stairs and headed to my bedroom. Too bad I wasn't tired, so I lay on my bed sleepless...

            Two hours later I was still laying in bed looking at the ceiling, "It's not my fault!" mommy screamed.

"Well, who's to blame?" daddy shouted sarcastically, I lifted my blankets over my head trying to cover my ears. Not wanting to witness what was happening above me, it was the first time I heard them fight, and I didn't like it!

"My heart! It's not my fault it doesn't have feelings towards you anymore... I tried!" she yelled back, but whispering the last part. Tears began to form in my eyes. Why was this happening? Did I do something wrong? Was I the reason they didn't love each other anymore? Is it because I don't clean my room often? All these unanswered questions!

"But I still love ONLY you!" I could tell daddy was crying because of his voice.

"But I can't ever feel the same way!" mommy was crying as well.

"So what's going to happen?" daddy nearly whispered. Don't say it, was all I was thinking about, anything but that.

"I guess we're gonna split." mommy whispered, and tears began to stream down my face twice as much. Why were they being so selfish...? Didn't we have a say in it? Ah, 'split' the word that every child fears the most! Including me.

"What are we going to tell the kids?" daddy asked, "How will things play out?"

"I've already decided to move..." mommy whispered, "I met someone... I'm sorry.".

"So you're just going to split with me, leave with some random guy and take my kids with you!" daddy screamed, "How am I suppose to continue in life if you take everything I love?".

"He's not a random guy... He started out as a friend, and I never thought I would develop feelings towards him, but I did. And you can't keep the children, they need a parent who will be there for them. Not someone who's always gone on the road!" mommy said.

"I'm always gone because I'm the one paying for the bills." daddy yelled, "Does he even know you have kids... How will he act towards them... Maybe he will beat them up... How could you do this to me?" daddy whispered the last part, "Who is he?".

"Yes he knows I have kids, he acts like a great guy with them and No he won't beat them up." mommy yelled back, "I didn't mean to do this to you, but I couldn't continue like this either..." she took a pause, "You knew something was wrong. And the guy's name is Stephane, we met because of some friends.".

            Sobs escaped my mouth, but I quickly dug my head into the pillow... It was my fault! If I never became friends with Daphney, then mommy wouldn't have met her mother and wouldn't have met Stephane and we wouldn't be in this situation... It was all my fault!

-----

One month later....

It was finally the day to leave... Everything was packed and I was saying my goodbyes to everyone at school. It would be last time I see them, because we were moving away.

            Mommy came to pick Jessie and I up (Jessie is my little sister, she's 7 years old, and I'm 10), as we headed towards the high school to pick up Ariel (my older sister, she's 13 years old). The car ride was long and silent, a few tears escaped my eyes, but I quickly whipped them away before someone noticed. We couldn't say our goodbyes to our daddy, because he had left two weeks ago back to work. We also didn't have to rush back to school because we left on the last day of school before the winter holidays began.

            It was so selfish for mommy to make us move and leave all our friends behind, and also finish school in a new school. What happens if I don't make any friends?

-----     

First day of the new school...

 

She dropped us off and I was nerviest... What would people think of me? As I entered my new classroom I was welcomed by everyone. They all smiled and gave a little wave at my direction, but there was this one boy that came up and shook my hand, "Hi I'm Harry." he said friendly.

"I'm May," I said, right when I told him my name I knew we were going to be friends.

"Like the month of May." someone said, while the rest of the class laughed at the none funny joke... I've always been teased because of my name, but I got use to it and learnt to just push it aside.

"I think it's a lovely name." Harry said while he took my hand and headed towards the two empty desk, side by side, everyone fell silent and began to whisper to each other... He's my desk buddy, yeah... I thought to myself.

"Thanks for sticking up to me," I whispered to Harry, he kept looking at me with a goofy grin on his face, as we too entered a deep conversation.

"So you just moved?" Harry questioned. "Yeah... Long story short, it was unexpected." I said as I hid the truth from him, he nodded probably realising I didn't want to talk about it, "So are you staying here till you finish school?" he questioned me, "I think so." I said, "Cool!" He said, which made me smile, at least someone wanted me. They say if you make a friend the first day of school then you're doing a good job. That's a relief.

            Everyone fell silent when the teacher entered the room, "Sorry I'm late," she said as she rushed towards her desk and dropped the loads of paper on the desk. "Lets' see if everyone is present..." As she began to take the attendance, everyone let out a little here when their name was called. As she called Harry's name she noticed me sitting beside him, "I totally forgot we had a new student coming." she smacked her head and the classroom began to laugh, "Please come up and present yourself." she motioned me to stand beside  her, "So we have a tradition..." she began to say, "Each time we have a new student they stand up in front, like you at this moment, and you present your name and then your classmates raise their hands and ask you questions, so we can get to know you better." I mentally smacked myself... Great I was the super shy person type.

"Umm, hi... My name is May Parker, and I've just recently moved here." then one student raised their hand, "Yes Jamie." the teacher said, "Why did you move during the middle of the year?" Jamie asked, "For personnel reasons," I said, "Why won't you say it," came someone's else voice, "Yeah, were you home schooled before?" came another voice. I was astonished by all their question, I looked at the teacher for help, but she was preoccupied with placing her papers properly.

"What's your favourite animal?" came Harry's voice from the crowd, "Dolphins." I said as I smiled to myself, "Why?" he asked, "Because they are free to roam the waves and swim wherever they like. They are beautiful mammals and whenever I see one it lifts up my mood." I said, "So would your favourite colour be blue?" came another students name, "Yeah." I said, as I blushed to myself, I was so predictable. I mouthed 'THANK YOU' to Harry for changing the subject, then soon after the teacher told me to take a seat and class finally began.

----

One week later

            Harry motioned to the seat next to him as I entered the cafeteria, I smiled and headed towards him. "So what's for lunch?" he asked me, "Peanut-butter and jelly sandwich with grape juice, sliced oranges and crackers. What about you?" I questioned him, "Ham sandwich with an apple juice, banana and a granola  bar. Wanna trade?" he asked me, "I trade half of my peanut-butter and jelly sandwich for half of your ham sandwich." I said, "You're so disgusting, who mixes peanut-butter and jelly sandwich with a ham sandwich?" he laughed, "Me!" I said as I playfully pushed him, "Fine deal." he said as we switched sandwiches.

"So May, when's your birthday?" he questioned me.

"arIT'S huTHEhi mhh8thmhh mmmOFm September?" I said with my mouth full, "It's what of September?" he laughed, "Maybe without your mouth full, this time.".

            I swallowed the remaining food left in my mouth before speaking. "The 8th of September. What about you?" he laughed.

"Finally I understood, mine is the 1st of February..." he began, but I cut him off, "What? That's so soon. What will I get you? Are you having a party? Why didn't you tell me? That's so selfish of you!" everyone in the cafeteria fell quite and just stared at Harry and me. Ops, I probably said that really loud. I let my head fall down and began to fiddle with my shirt, blushing.

"What's everyone looking at?" Harry yelled and everyone returned to their conversations, "Thanks" I mumbled under my breath.

"I never told you because you never asked. I wasn't being selfish..." he said and nudged me, "My parties in two weeks on Saturday, wanna come?" he asked, "I've been meaning to ask you.".

"100% for sure," I said as I gave him a big hug. He simply smiled and dug into his lunch, as did I.

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Plz fav. if you like it and let me know what you think :)

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