His Eyes

In that moment, I forgot where I was. Who I was. What we had been doing. I desperately wanted to look at him but was afraid of what I might see. I allowed myself to slowly move my eyes from the desk in from of him to his shirt.
It was black.
Just like his heart.

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1. Change

 

I’ve never liked change.

As soon as I get comfortable where I am, everything starts to change.

This time it was merely switching seats in my Chemistry class. I didn’t think too much of it at first. I mean, it was just a seat right? Turned out that that one little move was going to rock my world.

 “I’m so glad I don’t have a partner this semester,” I heard him say as I shuffled slowly to my unfamiliar new seat in the back of the class.

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I muttered as I pulled out my chair. The screech from the metal legs on the linoleum floor filled the silence.

“Nevermind,” he mumbled under his breath to the guilty looking freshman next to him.

I sat down.

I stared at the board.

He took out his phone and began to text under the desk. I couldn’t help but wonder who he was talking to. Maybe it was his girlfriend. Maybe it was his dealer. Either way, he didn’t seem like someone I’d normally talk to.

“Introduce yourself to your partner if you haven’t already!” the teacher’s voice rang out, “you’re going to be stuck with them ‘til the end of the year anyway. Then get out last night’s homework assignment!”

I looked in his general direction but concentrated on not making eye contact. He did the same.

“Hi.” I whispered softly.

“Hi.” He replied.

I waited.

“I’m Chris by the way.”

“Hi Chris. I’m…-“

I stopped. I could feel his eyes move to my face. It was that weird sixth sense that made me notice. And when he looked at me… I couldn’t breathe.

An electric shock surged through my body and I got the sudden urge to reach out and touch him. I unlocked my tightened muscles to move my fingers together, and intertwined them. I tried to restrain.

In that moment, I forgot where I was. Who I was. What we had been doing. I desperately wanted to look at him but was afraid of what I might see. I allowed myself to slowly move my eyes from the desk in from of him to his shirt.

It was black.

The effort it took to life my eyes seemed too tremendous. But I did – slowly – until I reached his lips.

And my chest burned. Like a volcano erupted in my heart. I panicked. Why is my chest burning?? It’s BURNING! Air rushed from my parted lips.

I guess I had forgotten to breathe.

I tried to maintain what little composure I had left while I stared in amazement.

They were perfect.

My eyes cautiously traced over the slight curve of his pink mouth, and lingered on his full lower lip.

Oh God. I was staring.

My face flushed with color and I looked back at the clamoring hands in my lap.

“You were saying?”

Oh my God. What had I been trying to SAY?

“Huh?”

He smirked to himself. “Your name?”

Oh. “I’m…” my mind came to a blank. I racked my brain for an answer. I couldn’t think of anything! Damn. I was going to have to lie about my own name to a stranger just because I was too stupid to remember. I looked around for help. Anything to spark my memory. That’s when I saw a test that had been passed back to me. My name was in the corner!

“MAY!” I said just a little too loud.

The classroom got quiet and the teacher looked up from her desk to question me.

“It’s only January honey. And I would appreciate it if you would keep your thoughts to yourself next time.” She accused with raised eyebrows.

I shrunk back into my seat and kept my head down.

A few moments later I could hear the deep muffled sound of Chris laughing under his breath.

I kept to myself this time.

“Hey..” he seemed apologetic. He moved his hand a little closer to mine but thought better of it and set it back down on his lap. “I didn’t-“

“May is my NAME.” I told him bluntly. He stared forward and then turned to say something right as the teacher called us out. “Chris, meet me after class.” I looked up in innocent surprise. Mrs. Gordon narrowed her eyes at me as if I were hiding something. “And bring your friend along with you when you come.”

Friend?? I was no friend of his! I couldn’t even look him in the face yet! And what had I done to deserve this?!

My inner rant came to a stop when I sensed Chris’s body tighten.

He obviously did not like the thought of having to spend any extra time withme.

And to that, I got out my homework and let my mind wander to anything BUT the boy sitting next to me for the rest of the class.

He didn’t try talking to me again after that.

When the bell rang, announcing the beginning of lunch, Chris jumped out of his seat and rushed forward. Startled, I began to pack my bag slowly and peek up at the front desk.

Chris was standing with his back to me, his broad shoulders blocking my view of Mrs. Gordon. They seemed to be talking about a possible seating change in hushed tones.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and marched up to Mrs. Gordon, head down.

“Good,” she said, “now you both are here. I didn’t appreciate you spending the entire class period talking in the back of the room. You are no better than the rest of the class and still have to follow the rules.”

“But I-“ Chris began.

“No. I know what I saw Mr. Sholtz. If you two want to talk so much, do it in detention instead of my class. See you after school.”

“But she didn’t even…!” He tried to begin again.

“Goodbye.”

I took my detention slip and looked at it. It was for today after school. One hour long. Chris had one just like it. I glared at his feet, unable to raise my head to stare him in the face, and walked out into the sunshine. Away from Chris.

I had never gotten a detention before. I had always been afraid to. But oddly enough, I was actually looking forward to it.

Because I knew Chris would be there too.

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