My secret

Ella has been a singer/song writer since she was 5 years old but totally shy, she only had 2 friends... She has written songs of many genres as music is her voice & life. One day she wrote a couple songs for One Direction & sent it to them. To her surprise they put it on their ALBUM! They all want to find this mystery girl who wrote the famous songs. Will they succeed? Will they be amazed by her true beauty?

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11. bad moods

*Ella's POV"

I can't explain this feeling, to love & be loved at the same time, my heart aches 

I woke up to myself slowly rising up & down, I looked up & saw Niall & remembered I fell asleep on his chest. I smiled to myself. I never had this kind of feeling with a guy. I've never fell asleep with one. Although I felt nervous going to sleep wondering if he would still be there when I woke up a part of me knew that he would stay, knowing him, knowing he isn't that type of guy to do such a thing. 

Trust was always something I had a hard time with but there was something about Niall, something told me that he was one of the lucky ones who I could trust.

I rubbed my eyes & sat up not caring much if I woke him or not because it was almost 2 in the afternoon, sleeping was my weakness. I got up & made myself look more presentable so he didn't have to wake up to looking at the way I looked. I'm clearly not a morning person.

*Nialls POV*

I studied her as she walked around the room fixing up herself looking a little worried at the same time. "I don't mind the way you look." I said as she jumped clearly unaware of me being awake. She just laughed & shook her head.

I sat up & rested my head in my hands while the memories of last night came back to me. The stupid fight, the drama with Harry, but mostly the way I felt as she fell asleep in my arms. I stood up feeling a bit dizzy but regaining my balance as I dragged my feet walking up to her from behind & placing my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder looking at her in the mirror as she played with her hair.

"Why do girls worry about there appearance so much?" I whispered in her ear then kissing her cheek.

"It's just a girl thing, can't help it." She said sneaking out of my grip

*Ella's POV* 

Touch as electric as his, could start a fire

 I felt a bit nervous when he held me like this, I don't know why but I started feeling slightly uncomfortable. It was strange so I walked out into the kitchen hoping to find something to eat although I wasn't much hungry. I searched for something in the fridge as then my phone started to ring, it was Alex.

*Hey, Alex*

*Hey! How's it goin' El?*

*Just woke up!* I laughed

*Yeah that doesn't surprise me* He joked

*What are you doing today?* He asked

*Well, I'm with Ni-* I stared but he cut me off.

*Niall huh?* He almost sounded offended.

*Uhh, yes.* I replied.

*Are you guys dating yet?* He asked

*No.* I said blankly making me feel nervous, yes I like Niall but I didn't love him... I haven't known him long enough.

*Okay well, come hang out with me today! It's been a while.* He said, it didn't sound like a bad idea... I haven't seen him in a while, Niall kept looking at me with a questionable look. I agreed with Alex, he was going to pick me up in an hour. "Who was that?" Niall asked

"Oh it was Alex" I replied. Niall didn't seem to care for my answer, I don't think he likes Alex much even though he seemed like he did a couple days ago.

"& I'm going to hang out with him a little while so-" I started but HE cut me off. "Need me out?" he said in a harsh tone. He was right I did need him out but the way he said it was offensive.

"I didn't mean it like that, I just mean I'm going out." I said feeling the anxiety. "Fine." He said blankly. "Is something wrong?" I asked

*Niall's POV*

No I didn't really like the idea of her being with Alex, it's not hard to tell that he likes her. But in a way I know I can trust her, I'm just paranoid. "No it's fine." I said trying to sound better even though I wasn't.

***
She gave me directions back to my place because I had no idea where I was.

When I was walking back my heart beat went from going really fast to really slow. I didn't like feeling this way, Ella's out with a guy I don't know if I can trust to be around or not & I can't really do anything. Even though I really haven't known her for a while it feels like forever, there's so much more to figure out about her, I want to know her, everything about her & I don't think she understands it. 

They say that the two most important days of your life are when you are born & when you find out why. She's my reason, the fame started getting to my head, she pulled me back to reality to a proper state of mind, she is why

*Alex's POV*

I was so happy to see her. I knocked on her door as I heard a faint "Come in!" I walked inside to see Ella just rushing around the house sorting things out, she saw me & waved, grabbed her coat as I ran up to her, lifted her up & swung her around embracing the moment as she giggled. "Hi Alex." She said as lightly punching my arm as I put her down, I just smiled at her. 

Quite honestly I was always one to attract girls, they would always text me & tell me they like me but because I was blinded by her I never knew what a real relationship was like with a girl, my mind was set on her. only. 

We walked out the door wondering where we were going to go, so we just started walking around town catching up on things. I didn't dare to ask about Niall because I thought I would see a light in her that shines for him instead of me. I couldn't take it.

It was small talk, like always. There wasn't much left to talk about. Her & I have been through a lot emotionally. We knew secrets about each other we wouldn't dare tell anyone else. I knew her inside out & she knew all about me. There was no secrets to keep. I was tempted to ask about Niall but I couldn't risk that feeling of heart break that could grow from what I already have.

I love you, you just want to be friends & I'm okay living with that constant pain

Even though I was never really completely friendzoned by her... The topic of us never came to subject, & I was afraid of the response because in a way she implied it but I was never really sure. I used to live right next door to her, we would use 'walky-talkys' to talk to each other but then I moved & I felt myself crushed by the feeling of being away from her. 

In this moment I shared just to be with her I was grateful for.  It made me feel warm even though it was cold outside.

I hated that I couldn't hold her cause she was obviously colder than I was. After all the random stupid talk about pointless things that I would always remember I wanted a real conversation.

"So, what's going on with Niall?" I asked. Her facial expression dropped, I could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm not sure.." She shrugged. "You've kissed him though." She nodded. "Just everything is going so fast & it's stressing me out because I feel I have to worry about it a lot." She mumbled. I listened to every word she said, I always would no matter what. I knew that she had just met Niall not long ago & I knew where she was coming from. "Then go slower with him. Just take it down a notch." I suggested. 

"I know, you're right but I don't know... What about him? What would he think... I like him, a lot." She said. It hurt to hear that. 

"If he really likes you, he'll understand." She nodded but sighed. The weather fit our moods perfectly.

gloomy & grey. Motionless. The streets were somewhat quiet & my heart raced when my eyes met her. 

Everything was just kind of bad at the moment. I couldn't do anything about it either. "We're best friends right?" I asked while a bloom of confusion came across her face. "Yes of course!" She said nudging me.

"& We don't keep secrets..." I added as she kept her eyes on the road we walked on the side of. I wanted to tell her how much I love her, but I couldn't. It would ruin the moment. She nodded. "& this is just my opinion but, don't you think maybe just take a break from Niall? Like you just met him basically. I don't want you to get hurt." I mumbled. Her facial expression changed fast & stopped walking & just stood there looking nearly lifeless. "I-I hate..." She started as I could feel my heart drop. 

"I hate that you're right." She stuttered. I sighed after she said that. "We're best friends I'm supposed to be right." I laughed as she just smirked at me. "I really like him but it is going to fast." She said. I know. I already know. I know her to well, better than she does. 

*Ella's POV*
 

Right after I said that my phone started buzzing. I pulled it out to see that Niall was calling, Alex noticed too & didn't look very happy. 

*Hi* I said blankly.

*Hey El!* That's what Alex calls me...

*Um What's up?* I asked hoping it wasn't anything important

*I know you're out right now but do you want to go get something to eat later tonight?* He said sounding slightly annoyed.  

Alex heard well what Niall said through the phone & gave me a death stare, as almost to say 'tell him to back off' & I sighed.

*everything okay?* Niall asked after the long pause.

*Oh um well, I can't & Niall?* I started but he didn't say anything to let me speak.

*We haven't known each other long & I think, we need to slow things down* I started regretting I said that. There again was another pause & the line went scratchy. 

*Niall?*
 

*Oh um yeah, I understand... I'll talk to you later, bye." He said without giving me time to say goodbye. I slid my phone back in my pocket & Alex gave me a reassuring nod. I took a deep breath & started walking. 

*Nialls POV*

I KNEW IT.

Alex said something, did something to change her mind about me. 

My heart sank. 

I was now back at the hotel suite & Zayn & Harry were there but Liam & Louis were out. Right away they knew something was up judging by the way I looked. Who could blame me though? The only girl I've found interest in my journey of being famous has slipped out of my reach. 

"You alright mate?" Zayn asked. I just looked at the ground. 

"Ella doesn't like you anymore?" Harry said sympathetically but I knew he was just being a jerk. I looked up at him as well as Zayn gave him a dirty look trying to control myself. 

*Ella's POV*

Alex & I walked in silence for a little while as he let me calm down. I was a little upset. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, Niall was just eager. Alex then placed his arm around my shoulder, I didn't mind though, he was just trying to comfort me, that's what we do.

wind in my hair, hand on the back of my neck

It grew colder & colder & we needed to get inside before we got sick, we walked back to my place & quickly got inside.

We caught our breath & took off our coats & boots. I grabbed two big sweaters, put one on & gave Alex one of his he let me borrow a little while back. 

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