On The Outskirts Of The Gang

Rosa is a pretty, self-conscious girl who wants to be cool. She's a bit afraid of Jessica, the most popular person in the entire year. As she clings on at the edge of Jessica's gang, she notices things that slowly make her realise that there is something odd going on...

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19. Friday 10th October

A new email came up just as I was about to log off the computer to write this entry. And it said...

I'VE BEEN ACCEPTED INTO THE ROLLER-DISCO CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited because it's always nice to try something new, and Penny and I used to roller-skate all the time when we were very little so I know what good fun it is. Roller-disco sounds even better, and to me the whole point of doing something in a group is so that you don't have to stand out as an individual - just so long as the group does as a whole. It means that if you can't do something then another person can cover for you - for example, if you keep slipping one day then somebody can hold you up a bit until you get the hang of it again. It's so much less daunting to think that I'll be re-learning to skate with other people to help me along. Outside of the school-people circle, popularity doesn't matter as much.

Mum was talking to me today as she gave me a lift back from the mini-rehearsal at Felicity's. She was saying how becoming friends with Penny's mum was making her feel like she'd been missing an opportunity before. When Penny used to live here, they lived across the road from us so I played there every day. She hardly ever came to mine because my mum spitefully held a grudge against Lorraine (Penny's mother). On the day they moved in, Lorraine accidentally didn't brake as she drove around the corner and they ran over Dad's pansies. Dad was a terrible gardener, but he made a special effort on these little flowers and they were thriving. Pansy is Mum's name, and he'd been growing them for her specifically as a gift. He pretended to take it well, but raved about them to my mum for hours that evening. She never got over it because she found the gesture from my dad so sweet and charming.

Mum has put it aside now, and Lorraine and her get on extremely well. Me and Penny are delighted because they always stop for a cup of tea and a chat when they come to pick us up from each other's houses - I went to her's yesterday. A quick wait turned into a long visit for Mum, which gave us loads more time to talk about what style of roller-skates we want. Penny has her heart set on finding a silver pair with flashing wheels, whereas I would love a black pair with white or silver stars.

Earlier, at Felicity's house, the practising went very well. I know pretty much my entire part now, which is good timing because proper rehearsals start next week.  My nerves have pretty much disappeared due to many (probably untrue but flattering) compliments from every member of Jessica's gang. They are all truly magnificent at acting. You would think they did it every day, it comes so naturally to them! Maybe that's the secret to popularity - you have to act the part.

Today, I was almost invited over to the gang's special bench by Hattie and Imogen before they decided against it. Does that mean I'm almost in the gang? Oh, I don't know, I personally just feel lucky to be talking to them so regularly. Sometimes I don't realise how privileged I am. Then, of course, I'll see some annoying loser with hardly any friends, and pity drives me to thank my lucky stars that I'm better than that.

Damn, that sounded really harsh. You've probably had enough nonsense from me for today. Bye!

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