That One Cheerleader

You'd think that someone who has had a crazy past would sometime in their life become normal again? We'll just have to see about that, especially when Autumn meets a new Irish boy, only to later on make her meet the boy of her dreams. What'll happen if Niall likes the girl? Who gets her? I guess you'll just have to read to find out what happens in Autumn's love life, and maybe even discover the sad, terrible past of hers as well!

Will there be a way to make Autumn feel complete again?


11. Chapter 11

Autumns POV


"And it, took so longg, just to feel, alllrii-ight. Remember how to put, Back the lights in my eyyy-ees, I wish I had missed, the first time that we kii-ssed, cuz youu broke all-l, your promises.. Now you're back, you won't get to get me Baaa-aackk!" I sang along to Christina Perri's song called 'Jar of Hearts'. I like that song a lot, even though number one: I've never been in a relationship, two: I've never kissed anyone, and three: I've never meant that much to anyone. Yep, but I just love to sing the song, it's one of those songs that you'd have on your iPod that you'd randomly find, and then once you play it, you get addicted. Well anyway, I was walking to the nearby park around 2pm, just to write and such. Also, I wanted to check out the new song Marissa wrote for me! I was walking out during the nice autumn day, hah I said my name! Anyway, as I was saying, I was walking out during the nice autumn day, when I found the one bench I always sit at because of memories and such. I remember when I would come to this park when I was little, with my mum, she would sit her, reading most of the time, while I played on the playground. This bench was sorta like.... I guess you'd say sentimental? I don't know, but I sat down, with emotions of my mum running through me. She was the best mom ever. She was the one I could talk to about everything, bullying, grades, my crush, gossip, cheerleading. etc. But mainly, she was my only friend. I sat on the bench holding in the tears. I haven't talked to my mum in a while now. I folded my hands together, shut my tear-filled eyes, and whispered "Dear lord, thank you for allowing me to have at least one friend as my mum left me. I loved her. I just want to have her know how much I miss her, and how much I love her. It's been really hard practically living alone, and well without you, it has made everything worse. You know the sayings right? 'you don't realize how much they meant to you, til they're gone.' Yeah well, I've realized. I know you're in a better place now mum, but.. ' A tear rolled down my cheek. "I-, I miss y-ou." A few more tears came down my lightly freckled face, and soon, I was crying a river. I took a few more deep breathes, and tried to continue. "Mum, I hope you-you're list-listening to me right n-now. Everything's been terrible. The bullying, dad not being around, it's just all been terrible, as if I've been living in a nightmare. But mum, the worst thing is honestly..." I took one last breath of air, "Not having you with me. Pl-please guide me through life, let me take adventures I would never had thought of taking. Help me mum, you know I need you. I love you so much and I hope I can make the best of my life just. for. you. I know I'm not very sincere mum, but I'm trying to impress you. I may not be 'popular' and such, but at least I have a job and good grades right? But that doesn't matter mum. I just have so many things to ask you. What's it like in heaven? Probably paradise. Tell grandma and grandpa I say hello. Also, I was uh wondering if you've missed me? Like, have you missed not being around me? Or do you think I'm a waste of space, just like everybody else does? One last question.... I've had this question since day one without you. It may sound cheesy, but I need to know..... Do you still love me? Thank you for allowing to listen to me, but I should probably check out Marissa's song. I'll talk to you later mum. I Love You." One last cold tear fell from my right eye. I finished my conversation with my mum whispering, "In the name we pray, amen." I miss her. Why did she have to be taken from me? I just don't understand, nor will I ever understand. I once again wiped my tear streaked face of all the icy cold, depressing tears, and I pulled out my phone, to fix myself up on the bench. Good thing I didn't have any makeup on, or this would be a disaster. My face looked disgusting. Now I know why I'm not 'pop tart material'. I fixed myself up as much as I could, then I got working on Marissa's song. 




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