Regrets

If you had been bullied all your life. Then you meet the love of your life, would you change your life to stay with him?

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2. The Past

 

It all started the day I started in second grade. I hadn´t been to school for a long time until it happened. One boy was all I needed until my world was falling. I still remember the day like it happened yesterday. He walked over to me and stared at me. I didn’t know what was to happen until his words whipped my face. “I didn’t knew that elephants went to school. But I guess I was wrong! Leah the elephant goes here!” I remember the punch in my stomach and the laughter when he walked away. “Don’t bother!” a voice rang in my ear. But how am I supposed to not care? The rest of the day I was on my own and thought bout what he had said. Had he tried to be funny or had he really meant it? My question was answered quickly, the day after I received several comments thrown at me. “My grandma uses clothes like that!”  “What does the whales sign when Leah jumps into the water? ´we are family´!”  They sang and made fun at me.  Still the worst was when they started to kick and punch me.

Through entire elementary school they throw comments after me. Often I ran to the toilet and cried so it burned in my eyes.  But in fourth grade I found a weapon. If I didn’t start crying in front of them they would stop much faster. Instead I ran to the toilet whenever the comments started and stayed there.  In fifth grade I got tired of what they told me and wanted to end it. Unfortunaly  I wasn’t strong enough. All I could do was to come up with different ideas on how to disappear. In the beginning I thought that I could just run away and never come back. But as time went by I thought the best way was to just end my life. It would the easiest way. But I never did find my strength to do it.

At the end of elementary school people thought I was a happy girl with no worries. I always had a smile on my face and I was laughing all the time. It wasn’t because I was happy, but I never told anyone my secret. No one ever knew about the bullying. Secretly I tried to end my life every day, but I was never strong enough. It wasn’t until I had started in eight grade that my life finally started to shine. There you were. Brown curly hair, green eyes and a smile that could melt any heart. “Hello, my name is Joe”, you smiled and reached out your hand for me to shake it. In the corner of my eye I saw Molly and Lizzie laughing and pointing at me. They probably wonder why you choose to talk to me instead of them. They were one of the most popular girls on school and to say it easy, I’m not one of them. I never actually understood why they were jealous of me. I have never been as thin as them, not pretty or popular as them. Yet they hate me. Your smile is even bigger. I smile back at you and shake your hand. “Hi Joe, I’m Leah.” 

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