a young girl, who is not like everyone else, has made a tough decision. but is it the right?

forgive the bad english, just focuse on the story ;)


1. The butterfly


The big, beautiful butterfly lands on my hand. Its wings are white, with a form of the gold pattern. It is so beautiful. I hold my breath and try to stand still, so I do not scare it away. It's crawling around, and suddenly it's as if it looks directly at me with its small insect eyes. I look in the butterflys eyes, and feel a kind of bond between us. As if we know what each of us have been through. It may be that it was teased as a caterpillar, who knows? Maybe it was looked down upon as a freak before it turned into this beautiful butterfly. I hope that one day I will turn into a beautiful butterfly, where people will think that I am the most beautiful they have ever seen.  My butterfly moves its wings gracefully, as if it were a ballet dancer. Its small pointy feet tickling me in the palm of my hand, and I can not help but laugh. I can hear something rattling inside the kitchen, which is probably my mother who cooks, which reminds me of what really brought me out here. In order to make a decision. All my life, all sorts of people took the decisions for me. First my parents, then it was the doctors and now the goverment. But I finally said no. And I have had the opportunity to choose. And it is a very important choice. It will change my life. I feel that it will help me to define who I am. My mother keeps looking at me with those sad eyes, as if she already knows what I will choose. And she's probably right. My whole life has others chosen that I should live. But now, as a form of rebellion, I will not. And there is nothing they can do. If I do not say yes to the donor heart, I will die. For my whole life I have been told that my heart is weak. But I will prove that I have a strong heart. And I do know that to look death straight in the eye. Without fear. That is what characterizes a strong heart. My parents do not believe that I am able to make that decision, because of my "disability". I'm autistic, but I seem more crazy outside, than I really am inside. When I was driving trip in my wheelchair, people always looked crooked to me. But now I think that when I become an angel, people will see my true beauty. The one I have had inside me always.   When I stand here in the kitchen window, I can see my beloved daughter stand still on the lawn. Maria has always been special. Ever since she was little, we knew that she was not like other children. And as we found out what was wrong, my world almost broke down. But I held on to reality by looking at my daughter. For sometimes I could see that she was there, hidden behind her disability. Her eyes were like other children's  Just as lively and as clever. Sometimes it seems as if she leads a conversation with herself in her head. People looking crooked on her because of her looks, but when they get to know her, they understand how special and amazing a person she is. And especially in this time, I have to remember that my daughter is a smart girl, that is sure to make the right decision. And when I look at her, I understand her decision. I can see that this is the only option for her. But it's hard to let go of my little girl. it's so difficult. When I see her standing all alone out there, with her arm outstretched, as though she is holding something, only she can see, I do not see her disability. I see her wonderful smile. And I know she is happy.    
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