It's time to dance {One Direction}

"Complicated enough to not even tell your best friend? This was why you were acting so strange at the park that day after the flash-mob in Battersea Park! Did he even know you were there? That I was the one his mates ran into shortly after when everything had just turned dark for me for a second."
"Mel it's more than that. Liam and I are together, but Matt can't know ok? He can't know anything about this place. Just as Liam can't know about the crew. You understand?"
"No I don't. I'm your best friend Dani. Your best friend through years, and this is why you've been acting so strange all of a sudden? I knew about x-factor and shut up about it. But this? This is a freaking boy band."
"But you're still here aren't you?"
I guess no matter how good you think you know people, you'll always be surprised at the end when your whole world turns around.

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16. Visiting Zayn

 

I had taken the underground to the nearest place where Zayn was staying. When I was walking down the street I was having second thoughts on doing this. I was scared I had hurt him too much, and I wouldn't be able to face either him or myself if that was the case. There was something over Zayn that wasn't there when I was with the other boys. Zayn had the key to my heart and I loved him terribly much, but I chose to keep it a secret. I didn't want anything to be ruined, so it was better off that way. 

I was standing at the doorstep just staring at the door. I had the key with me so I could easily get into the flat without doing something major that would drag attention towards me, but I didn't. I rang the bell after I had been staring at it for a good 10 minutes. 

I waited for a long time for him to come out. I was scared he wasn't there, but as soon as I was about to leave the door was opened and a sleepy Zayn only wearing his boxers and standing with a cigarette in one hand opened the door and looked at me. Was he high or something? He looked so wasted! 

"What do you want?" 

"We need to talk Zayn." 

"I don't want to speak with you." 

"You don't have to say anything. Just hear me out." 

He was about to close the door just at my face but I managed to block it with my foot. 

"You don't fucking slam that door at my face you hear me? Now listen me out, because I actually have something important to say." 

"Come in then." 

He rolled his eyes at me and took a long draw of the cigarette. I felt him blow the smoke out provokingly at the back of my head. 

"That was so not cool." 

He look at me and all his attitude said was how little he cared. 

"What do you want?" 

"I'm sorry. What I said was wrong and I shouldn't have said it. I thought I could trust you with how I felt inside, but I shouldn't have told you. I just thought that the one person beside Danielle, that I trust with everything would understand how it was. I did so much for you, and you have barely noticed anything. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about how I felt with the dancing. I should have been sharing it with you or shut up for good." 

"You shouldn't have said anything about it at all." 

"I'm sorry I did then, but I can't make it go away. What's been said has been said and I can't change that. Zayn I trust you with everything, so why is it so hard to hear my deepest thoughts about the dance?" 

"Because I don't want you to leave us." 

"But somehow I just don't belong. Don't get me wrong I'm staying for now, but I don't belong here." 

He moved closer to me and soon we were back to having this stupid argue about the street dancers and the new dance crew. 

"Isn't it my choice if I want to go back?"

"You don't understand what it does to you!" 

"I'm fucking old enough to make my own choices! It's not li-" 

I was cut off by Zayn, but not because he was speaking, because his lips suddenly had found their way to cover mine. My entire body was stiff and I was unable to move, before Zayn pulled me closer him and continued kissing me.  One hand around my waist holding me close and another one supporting my neck. After a while my arms were wrapped around him as well and we stood there in what felt like forever. Zayn stopped the kiss and then looked deep into my eyes.  I hated yet loved this feeling. This was why he got so angry with me whenever I did something that involved my old dance crew, because he was scared he was gonna lose me. I stood staring back at him out of words. I was shocked yet relieved because I felt a certain way about him.  I pulled him in close to me, and buried my head in his neck. 

"What?" 

I could hear him smile and giggle through his words that made me smile a foolish smile and burry my head deeper. 

"Nothing." 

"Then don't hide that beautiful face of yours." 

I shook my head and kept it down even when Zayn took a step back and I was forced to face him. Suddenly I felt like a kid again. I was foolishly and deeply in love with the guy standing in front of me, I was just too shy to say it out loud. I might have been seen as the tough one but as soon as it was about love it wasn't something I mentioned and people were damn lucky if I did. I didn't want to flash it out like other people did. 

I could see the crocked smile that was placed all over his face; he mesmerized me with his beauty.

He reached out for my hands, and made me even smaller. I didn’t know how someone could do this to me. After I found Matt I was sure that was the only kind of love I would ever feel, but this was different, this was stronger, and safer.

“Promise me you won’t ever do something like this again.”

“I can’t.”

“For us?”

“Us? Is there even an us in this?”

“Only if you want it to be.”

He smiled and moved closer to me. This left me out of choice. It was like he forced me to be with him, but yet no force was needed for this.

“Zayn I don’t know…”

“Don’t you like me?”

He looked down at me with a faded smile, maybe even a bit sad expression left on his face.

“I do, I really do. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“I don’t know if I can do this. I’ve been through a major change lately and I’ve proved myself that I need people all the time…”

“You don’t have to be alone Melody. I’m here for you. It’s not a shame to need people.”

“But what about making everything on my own?”

“It’ll come with time. You need to be ready for it as well.”

We spoke back and forth about everything for a long time. I wanted him. I knew I did, but did I trust him enough to be such a big part of my life. To know what was going on inside of my head as I was fighting with my past and the crew?

“So what’s it gonna be?”

“Let’s just take small steps at the time.”

I smiled up to him and placed my hands in his again before pulling him in for a hug. 

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