For the love of my daughter {One Direction}

"I told you to stay out of my life Sam! You said you didn't want anything to do with her, so why do you suddenly care when she's happy!?"
"She's my daughter, I know what's best for her!"
"You know shit! You've never been here for her! You don't even know her! Just leave us alone!"
"I want her out of the media Alex!"
"She likes being with the boys!"
"I'm taking this to the police!"
"Yeah do that. I have the custody so you can do shit about it!"
I knew Sam had never liked One Direction, but taking them out of Caitlin's life now that she finally had them in real life wasn't fair, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was right. Was it really good for my daughter to be surrounded by the paparazzi whenever she was with one of the boys?
My name is Alexandria Griffin, but call me Alex, I'm an 18 year old model and mother for a 4 year old girl.

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21. Party like a star

 

I felt the bass pump in my chest and the lights shining in different colours as I was walking around the over filled room with a drink in one hand and holding onto Harry’s with the other. We had been at the club for about an hour, but I already felt the alcohol in my blood, making the room spin around in front of my head.

“You okay love?”

We sat down by a table with some of Harry’s friends. I didn’t really know who they were, but I just joined to be a part of it.

“Yeah I’m fine.”

I looked down at the drink on the table, which was still placed in my hand.

“You sure?”

“Yeah Harry it’s fine. I’m just a little worried about Caitlin.”

“What about her?”

He turned around and looked directly into my eyes.

“What if Sam’s there with Nick right now?”

“I don’t think you’ll see Sam around for a long time Alex. Don’t worry about him.” 

"You sure?" 

He kissed me gently over the lips and stroke my cheek. 

"I'm sure."

He smiled before I turned around and looked out on the dance floor where I saw someone I knew. That body. Those moves. I had been way too close to it way too many times. But wasn't this a closed party for celebrities only? Well of course people could invite, but she couldn't have been invited. Who would have done that? 

"Excuse me for a moment guys." 

I felt Harry's hand on mine but I shook it off of me as soon as I got up from the chair and walked across the room following her all the way to the bar where she sat down with some guy I had seen before, but I didn't know his name. He was laughing with her, smiling all over the face and acting like drunk teenagers with no control. 

"Emily?" 

I called her name and I saw her reaction when she saw me, but I couldn't read her. 

"OMG Alex? What are you doing here?" 

She had a snobbish accent and a sarcastic look on her face. 

"Talking about me? What are you doing here? This is a private party. You can't just sneak in because your favourite band is here." 

She laughed and got up from the chair. She pulled me away from the crowd and I suddenly felt vulnerable, because I was alone with nobody around me to support. When I was in the club I knew all of the boys would be there to support and help me. Not to mention watch over me, so nothing bad would happen. 

"I'm not here because of your little puppy dog band nor fight you." 

"Then what are you doing here? You're not supposed to be at my party." 

"Your party? Sorry sweetheart this is not your party it's Conor's and honestly now that I'm here with him I can do whatever I want." 

"So you're just casually dating Conor now?" 

"Not that it's your business but yeah." 

"What's going on here?" 

A dark shadow appeared behind us and the Bradford accent was not to be mistaken of. Zayn was standing with a cigarette placed in his hand looking at us. 

"Nothing Zayn. Just forget about it." 

I pushed Emily with my shoulder as I walked past her annoyed about what she said. 

"Hey stop sweetie." 

Zayn took a hold on my arm when I was about to enter the club we were at. He looked at me with begging eyes and I was seduced to stay because of the alcohol that had filled my body. 

"What?" 

I was still clear in my head even though the alcohol filled me. 

Zayn looked up at Emily and she took up her hands in defense but with a snobbish attitude. 

"I'm out of here. I see you're busy with more than one guy of the band." 

"Now you shut up your dumb piece of shit." 

I got loose of Zayn's grip and pushed Emily hard in the chest. I was soon out of my high heeled shoes and was going bare foot while pushing her all the way to the nearest wall. 

"First you're acting like you're professional, then a slut and now again another kind of slut." 

She raised her eyebrows at me while speaking and I didn't know what to do anymore. 

"So I act like a slut? Says the girl that was dating one guy and secretly sleeping with others for a long time and now dumbed him for some singer. You're pathetic Emily and everybody knows it. Even Conor will realize it when you start sleeping with someone behind his back again." 

I pushed her again, but this time she was faster and slapped me across the face. 

"Oh no you didn't." 

I pulled her and pressed her against the wall.

“You’ve done loads of stupid things in your life girl. But this might be the dumbest thing that you’ve ever done Emily. First you cheat on your boyfriend and make me lie to him about it. You slept with Sam after I had broken up with him, damage about what happened to my teenage life that got ruined. Then you abandoned my daughter to sleep with some cheesy guy, that didn’t even love you, but stayed with you even though you hurt him so terribly much. And now this. You’re a pathetic social looser who uses people around you, to make yourself look better in reality you’re a stupid whore seeking the attention, because you couldn’t handle that I got it. Admit it! You wanted to be all the time, beside when I was suffering from birth depression and staying home, while you were out all night having fun. Go home, go home and cry with your mother. Oh wait you can’t because she left you again when you left everyone as soon as I became friends with the band! Now piss off. You don’t belong in the spotlight, and if you stay, I’ll make damn sure that it’s gonna be a living hell for you.”

I pushed her hard again leaving her with tears. I knew her weak spots. I knew how to hurt her. I walked away taking Zayn’s lighted cigarette from him as I stepped back into the club letting the smoke enter my lungs. I loved the new feeling as I was walking in there with everybody staring at me. I sat down in the bar and filled my body with the 10 shots that was lined up in front of me. They filled me and I enjoyed the feeling before I went back down to Harry with a drink secured in my hand. I was pissed and I let the anger control my body, but the night wasn’t over. Not for me. I turned off the cigarette on the floor not caring at all just before I placed myself beside Harry.

I filled my body with the drink from the first to the last part. I had everyone around the table staring at me, but I didn’t care at all.

“Sweetheart are you alright?”

“huh?”

I looked at Harry he seemed to be questioning my sanity right now, and honestly I couldn’t judge him for it as I filled my body with the liquid.

“Stop yourself.”

“No.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I took another drink from the table and filled my body with it. Harry took the glass out of my hand, and the other boys around the table stared at me confused about what was going on.

“C’mon let’s dance.”

I took Harry’s hand and led him out on the dance floor before he could even say anything. Harry wasn’t dancing, but I still didn’t stop, not until he took a hold on me and looked into my eyes. His grip was filled with confusion and fear.

“What are you doing to yourself Alex?”

I turned let my head fall around for a second, trying to roll my eyes of him, but not in the control of my body.

“Come on have some fun!”

“No Alex, what’s going on? This is not like you. What are you doing to yourself?”

“Having fun compared to you Mr. Grumpy.”

“That’s it. We’re going home.”

“But the party just started.”

“And you’re making a complete fool out of yourself. I’m worried about you.”

He took my hand and threw one look back at the other band mates before we were out of the club, sitting in his car. I felt dizzy and as if I was about to vomit. I guess it was the shots that had taken pretty hard on me, but I didn’t want to admit what I had done was wrong. The entire ride home was in silence and I almost fell asleep placed in the front seat.

“We’re home.”

“Huh?”

I rubbed my eyes before I saw Harry standing beside me opening my door.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m disappointed.”

I looked down at myself and then I felt it, the alcohol coming out of my body.

“MOVE!”

I barely managed to get out of the car before I was down on the ground throwing up. I could feel Harry shook his head before he bent down to help me up from the ground when I had finished.

I don't really remember what happened more that night, but I knew I was in trouble the second I woke up. 

-----------------------------------------------

"What happened with you last night? You were all out of control? And what happened to your head?" 

I took my hand up to my head, but I didn't feel anything. Just pain on a certain spot on my forehead. 

"Ouch." 

I was sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. Neither of he boys had gotten out of bed until now. Harry was standing, only wearing his boxers, in front of me with a serious expression on his face. 

"Sweetheart what happened?" 

"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry for how I acted last night." 

"Of course it matters. Who did this to you?" 

"It doesn't matter Harry!" 

"Hey easy now." 

He took my hand which was lying on the table and made me come up from the chair I had misplaced myself at. His arms wrapped around me for a long time. 

"Now tell me who did this to you?" 

I shook my head while hiding it into his chest. I didn't want to tell him, because I deserved that slap last night, even though I had gotten a bruise from it. 

"Alex please?" 

"Harry I deserved this. It doesn't matter who did it. Let's just forget about it okay?" 

His hand was under my chin as he looked directly into my eyes as I begged him with my eyes just to forget about what happened. I didn't want to speak about it, I just wanted to forget about it. 

I stood up on my toes and kissed him. At first he didn't kiss me back, but soon even he couldn't resist. 

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