For the love of my daughter {One Direction}

"I told you to stay out of my life Sam! You said you didn't want anything to do with her, so why do you suddenly care when she's happy!?"
"She's my daughter, I know what's best for her!"
"You know shit! You've never been here for her! You don't even know her! Just leave us alone!"
"I want her out of the media Alex!"
"She likes being with the boys!"
"I'm taking this to the police!"
"Yeah do that. I have the custody so you can do shit about it!"
I knew Sam had never liked One Direction, but taking them out of Caitlin's life now that she finally had them in real life wasn't fair, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was right. Was it really good for my daughter to be surrounded by the paparazzi whenever she was with one of the boys?
My name is Alexandria Griffin, but call me Alex, I'm an 18 year old model and mother for a 4 year old girl.


3. Nick's birthday


The sun peeked in through the curtains as my alarm sat off.

‘you’re insecure, don’t know what for, you’re turning heads when you walk through the door…’

I reached out for my phone and turned the alarm off. I turned around so I was facing the wall just as I heard the door being slowly and silently opened and Caitlin’s small feet ran across the floor, making their way to my bed.

“Mommy! Mommy, get up!” her childish voice filled the room and I couldn’t help but smile. She was so adorable. I kept teasing her with my fake sleeping until she was jumping in the bed.

“Just 5 more minutes sweetheart.” I looked at her as her smile faded away; she really wanted me to get out of bed.

“Mommy, get up!”

She pulled gently in my t-shirt and got me out of the bed after a while. I walked with her out into the living room where I helped her turning on the TV and sat there with her as she was watching The Fairly OddParents. After a while when she was glued to the screen I got up and went out into the kitchen where I started making breakfast for us.

After about 20 minutes I was done with the eggs and bacon. It was Sunday so we were snacking a bit. Beside Caitlin had been really good with not waking me up early this weekend.

“Caitlin? Come out to the kitchen. Your eggs are ready”

“But mommy, Phineas and Ferb is on the TV!”

“You can watch it afterwards sweetie.”

I walked into her and looked at the TV. She was still glued to the screen and I couldn’t help but smile when I walked over to the couch and sat down beside her.

“Come on Caitlin.”

She looked at me with her puppy eyes but I didn’t give in.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

She put her arms out for me to lift her up and I took her up on my hip and carried her out into the kitchen. I sat her down on hair chair and gave her some of her food.

We spoke about all sorts of different things while we were eating our breakfast, but I stopped with the food as soon as my phone started ringing.

“Hey mum what’s up?”

“Alex you’re up good. How’s Caitlin?”

“We’re enjoying scrambled eggs together right now. She’s been really easy this week mum.”

“Good. Are you coming over for Nick’s 20th birthday tonight?”

“Of course we are! I just need to get Caitlin to reception and then I’ll be heading to the gym, I’m meeting with Zoe there to train today, and then we’ll come home around 4pm.”

“Good I can’t wait to see you there.”

“You too mum.”  




I pulled up in front of the gym as soon as I had training with Zoe was always fun and we always had really great talks. She was always there for me being really supportive of the choices I made. She was like an extra mother for me or maybe an aunt that took really good care of me. 

I took a shower at the gym when we had finished, before I went down on Oxford Street where I bought my brother a silver watch and his favourite chocolate. After that I picked Caitlin up from reception and went home to change into something prettier and get Caitlin ready as well. We dressed up and went out of the door almost forgetting the presents for Nick. 

I knocked on the door at my old house as we arrived. Nick appeared in the door shortly after. He was fancy dressed in a beautiful red shirt and black pants. 

"Happy birthday Nick." 

I hugged him awkwardly with one arm before he turned thanked me and turned to Caitlin who was jumping up and down. 

"Happy birthday uncle Nick!" 

"Thank you princess!" 

He picked her up and held her over his head before taking her back down and kissing her on the cheek. Caitlin was smiling all over the face which of course made me smile. We made our way inside. Nick helped Caitlin with her shoes and her jacket while I went out into the kitchen where I found my mum standing. I sat down on the counter as soon as I had said hi to her. 

"So how are you?" 

My mum looked at me. She knew how to get everything out of me even if I didn't want to tell her. 

"I don't know how I am awake right now. Yesterday was so exhausting and training was really tough today. Zoe is really making it harder for me." 

"That's not what I wanna hear Alex." 

"Sam came by last night and woke up Caitlin when she had just fallen asleep... She was crying for half an hour mum..." 

I felt like crying as I told my mum. I hated when Caitlin was crying. It was my weakest spot. 

"Why was Sam there?" 

"He said he wanted to check on us. Make sure I took good care of her..." 

"Who was?" 

Nick and Caitlin had made their way out into the kitchen. I stood still biting my lower lip looking at my daughter. 

"Caitlin? Can you go play in mummy's old room while mummy speaks with uncle Nick and nanny?" 

She did as I said without even answering me. She just ran away happy and carefree. 

"The next fucking time your friend shows up at my flat I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him! He said he wanted nothing to do with her! So he better stay the fuck away from her! She's mine! Do you hear me Nick? I want Sam out of my fucking life! I had Caitlin crying for half an hour last night because Sam was being a jerk! Harry sat with her crying on his lap for 30 freaking minutes!" 

"Harry who?" 

My mum looked at me with excitement written all over her face. 

"Just a friend mum. I've been working with him on a shoot for Elle Magazine today, but the meeting isn't before tomorrow so I don't know anything about it yet. I know the shoot went well even though it contained surprises." 

We sat down shortly after and had a great dinner. I was only eating the salad though. I wasn't allowed to eat all sorts of things. As we were sitting at the table Caitlin gave Nick the presents. 

"Wow is this an Omega watch?!" 

"It is." 

"But Alex those are so expensive." 

"Not when you're doing a photo shoot for them." 

I smirked at him as he opened the other present that was his favourite chocolate. He smiled a bright smile as he saw it and thanked many times. 

As soon as we had finished dinner my mum was running around playing with Caitlin and Nick and I got some time to speak. We went into the living room and sat down in the couches. 

"What did Sam want when he was at your place last night?" 

"He said he wanted to check on us. See how we were doing. He's been doing it a lot lately, and I don't understand it Nick! What does he want from me?" 

"He texted me earlier that you had replaced him with some singer. What's that all about?" 

"You can't tell mum about this ok?" 


"I was doing a shoot for Elle magazine yesterday. It was a nude shoot and I was told that I would be doing it with a male model. That male model turned out to be no other than Harry Style from One Direction! And when we finished he took with Emily and I home where he stayed for the evening and went home around 9.30 last night." 

"So you're letting your daughter hang around the neck of that douche bag! No wonder Sam is pissed!" 

"Don't you fucking dare calling him a douche bag Nicholas Griffin! You don't know him! And FYI Sam promised he would leave us alone! He said he didn't want to be a part of her life!" 

"Alex you don't know the guy just because you've been hanging out with him for a couple of hours! And look his face is printed all over the Internet and in every bloody magazine! Is that how you want Caitlin to grow up?" 

"Look it's not like I'm dating him. We just hung out last night! Just leave it there." 


Caitlin came running into the living room. She seemed scared and sad and a worried face expression soon appeared to me. 

"Nanny said Harry doesn't know me." 

She crawled up on my lap and started hiding her face in my shoulder. 

"But he does princess. Harry knows you sweetie. Harry thinks you're a beautiful princess." 

"Don't lie to her Alex. Her head is filled with those boys and making her believe that she knows them is cruel." 

"That's because you don't understand mum. Harry does know her, just as he knows me. I did a photo shoot with him yesterday." 

"Your head is so full of those boys. You need to get back to reality." 

"Why would I be lying to my own daughter about something like this mum? Who do you think snuggled her in her bed yesterday? I told you it was Harry. I'll send you a copy of the pictures. 

We sat in the living room speaking until it was 8pm Caitlin was really tired almost sleeping in my lap. 

"Do you want me to take you home?" 

Nick looked at me with a smile on his face. 

"But what about my car then?" 

"I'll just walk home from your place. I need some fresh air." 

"You sure?" 


"Thanks Nick." 

I said goodbye to my mum and then went out to find Caitlin's thing and dress her before I dressed myself. 

I carried her all the way to the car. When we were in the car it was like Nick changed. 

"Alex? Do you think it's possible just to make Sam the tiniest part of her life?" 

I looked at him disgusted by his question. Sam had always been a friend of Nick and one night we all got drunk and I ended up sleeping with Sam. That was the first time I had sex and of course I got pregnant from it. Sam and I tried dating for about a year after, but after the first 2 months of Caitlin's life he backed out, saying he wasn't ready to be a dad. Like I was ready to be a mum when I first got Caitlin. But I couldn't give up on her. She wasn't going to be punished just because I made a mistake. The first years we lived with my mum and Nick. Sam came around once in a while, but he didn't care about Caitlin when he was there. When I was 16 I moved out and started living with Emily but ever since she started dating Ryan, she hasn't really been around. 

"Why would I? Is he old enough now to take responsibility for something he did 4 years ago?" 

"Probably not, but he really wants to be part of her life." 

"I have sole custody, so he can just piss off." 

 "Calm down sis..."  

"No I'm tired of this Nick. Why can't he just leave us alone. He signed those papers himself. If he wanted to be a part of this he shouldn't have signed the papers." 

We pulled up outside my flat. All the lights were out which meant Emily was staying with Ryan again tonight. I looked at my phone which I had forgotten everything about as Nick carried Caitlin up the stairs. I had a text from Emily. 

"Hey Hun <3 sorry I'm not there again. Staying with Ryan for the rest of the week. See you Sunday night." 

Great... Alone for the rest of the week. At least I had time to take Caitlin to reception before I had to go to the meeting tomorrow. 

As soon as Caitlin had been snuggled in her bed Nick and I sat down in the living room. 

"I'm sorry if your birthday wasn't as planned Nick. Mum and I just don't get a long any more. I think she's still pissed at me for moving out." 

"She is..." 


"But look, I had a great time. I always enjoy when you guys are over." 

I let a smile appear on my face. We sat on the couch speaking for about 10 minutes before Nick got up and went home. I hugged him before he left and then went into check on Caitlin before I went to bed. 

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