For the love of my daughter {One Direction}

"I told you to stay out of my life Sam! You said you didn't want anything to do with her, so why do you suddenly care when she's happy!?"
"She's my daughter, I know what's best for her!"
"You know shit! You've never been here for her! You don't even know her! Just leave us alone!"
"I want her out of the media Alex!"
"She likes being with the boys!"
"I'm taking this to the police!"
"Yeah do that. I have the custody so you can do shit about it!"
I knew Sam had never liked One Direction, but taking them out of Caitlin's life now that she finally had them in real life wasn't fair, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was right. Was it really good for my daughter to be surrounded by the paparazzi whenever she was with one of the boys?
My name is Alexandria Griffin, but call me Alex, I'm an 18 year old model and mother for a 4 year old girl.

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9. Back to reality

 

I was sitting in the flat Friday night with Emily drinking tea. Caitlin had just gone to bed an I was just sitting back and relaxing for the first  time this week. Though I should actually go to bed as I was working all weekend, that's why Emily was probably home. She would be taking care of Emily as I was working on the fashion show. Everything had just been really stressful this week and I hadn't really had any time off at all as I was really busy making this fashions show perfect. We had been practicing for 5 hours today and then had a 2 hours meeting about making it perfect afterwards. The pressure was hard but I likes work. 

"So what time are you getting up tomorrow?" 

"I have to be at the show at 7.30 already so I'll probably get up at 6 or something like that." 

"God I'm glad that's not me." 

"At least I have Monday and Tuesday off." 

"Yeah you're right." 

"Beside I like doing this so I don't really mind." 

"I guess you don't." 

She smiled at me and we finished our tea and then I went to bed. I had a long day in front of me tomorrow. 

I went into my room and sat my alarm. Before I changed and crawled into my bed. 

I looked at the one poster I had of the boys on my wall and smiled at it. I missed them, but neither of us had, had time to catch up since Monday as I had been really busy and they had been working as well. 

I dozed off shortly, but woke up again at 2 am because I could hear my door being opened. 

"Mummy?" 

Caitlin was standing crying in door to my room. I got out of the bed and hugged her close to me. He shirt was soaked and she was totally out of herself. 

"What is it sweetheart?" 

"I'm scared." 

"Shh... Come here." 

I took her up and walked with her out into the bathroom where we changed her pyjamas and then went into my bed. Whenever she had, had a bad dream she would be sleeping in my bed, and honestly it just made me more comfortable when she did. I enjoyed having that mother daughter time we had when I was protecting her in the night. 

I didn't sleep until I was 100 percent sure that Caitlin was fast asleep in my arms but honestly I'm glad it didn't take her long as I was getting up really early. 

I looked at my phone as I heard Harry's voice fill the room with singing. Honestly I had been thinking about changing it as I thought it was pretty strange having it after we had been out.

I snuck out of bed as soon as I had turned the alarm off. Caitlin was still fast asleep in the bed. She looked so peaceful now that she had been sleeping in my arms.

I went into the bathroom where I got dressed into some skinny jeans and a nice top that I had gotten at a photo shoot. I finished around 6.45 and went out to my car and drove to the place of the fashion show.

When I got in I was soon surrounded by a lot of people. There were so many people running from one place to another and I couldn’t help but to be really confused. I soon found Zoe who helped me get to my spot and helped me with my make-up. I was going on the stage as one of the first people and had to be on the stage as 9.06 exactly, so I had to be ready at 9am.

My phone was lying on the make-up table as I was doing my make-up. I looked at the phone as I received another text. Harry had been calling me last night before I went to bed, but I didn’t have time to answer it, and now he was texting me again, but I didn’t have the time to answer as I was in the middle of getting ready.

“Who’s texting you all the time Alex?”

“Harry.”           

“Then why don’t you answer him?”

“Because there’s not enough time Zoe. I have to stay focused on this right now.”

She saw my face turn down and become sadder, I missed Harry, but as I said, I needed to stay focus and stay in the reality.

“Be young Alex.”

“I will, but I have to stay focused on this. I have a daughter to take care of, and I will need the money to take care of her.”

“You have a good heart and God will guide you my friend.”

“I know Zoe. I know. I just don’t feel ready for anything at the time. And I think being friends with my favourite band has made everything harder for me.”

“Caitlin loves being around them, doesn’t she?”

“She does. And she misses them a lot, but there just hasn’t been time to see them.”

“I see. Get yourself done you’re going on stage in 36 minutes.”

I finished as fast as I could and walked around for the last 10 minutes as we were getting ready for the cat walk.

I walked up and down the cat walk a couple of times and it made me forget about everything and just live in the reality that was my reality. I saw the flashes snap at me and I enjoyed it, but I had to keep the straight expression on my face as we had to keep the focus on the clothes. I was running up and down the catwalk, changing my clothes faster than anyone could have ever changed. I got accessories on and off in huge amounts in less than 2 minutes. I was moving around fast in the back and even though it was really stressful I enjoyed doing this. This was my reality and I needed to keep it like that.

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