Two in One

Should I try and fit in with the populars or be an individual?
Should I stay friends with Katy or branch out and make new ones?
The horrors and delights of secondary school are confined in this diary written with such passion by young Robyn.

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3. The Restaurant

So there I was thinking I couldn’t make situations worse-I was wrong!

The four of us entered Nandos, Jacky was full of talk of the film, saying how adorable they were as a couple at the beginning. I noticed that through all of this Alex was keeping quiet, he didn’t talk much. Maybe this was just because he was always over powered by Jacky and he spent a lot of time with her. I almost felt like I wanted to get to know Alex, not because I love him but because I sense he has hidden secrets, that there’s more deep within him that he doesn’t reveal.

“Table for four,” Jacky said to the waiter who approached us in the same dull, rude tone that she used at the cinema to the young woman behind the counter. I knew it was one of those situations that if I was there with mum, she would have been the embarrassing woman who tells them off for attitude with the waiters even if I wasn’t her on kid. This, I suppose, is why it concerned me so much when Jacky acted like this in public. The tables we sat down and order our meals, when it came to me, I had an extra spicy chicken wrap. I love having hot foods at home, mums an excellent cook so the cooks at the restaurant had a lot to look up to. “Wow Robyn, extra spicy,” Said Alex, I detected a hint of amazement in his voice, he might have even been impressed with my order. We sat there in silence for a few seconds as I blushed, then Katy started up a conversation about the nail polish she had used that night. I tried to keep up but got lost when they started talking about brands. I could tell Alex was watching me as I tried hopelessly to keep up with their conversation. “Odd you may be,” he said with a smile, “but that’s how you’re different, not always talking about you and your various make-up products. Being around Jacky means a lot of it.” Yet again I sat there, unable to answer still getting over the fact that he was talking to me.

For another 20 minutes we sat there talking, Alex didn’t say anything else until the food arrived, “It smells so good,” he said leaning forward. “I think my chicken looks a bit under cooked,” Jacky stood up and walked over to the waiter to complain. I however picked up my wrap and took a huge bite. The lettuce crunched in my mouth and I felt the warmth of the hot chili sauce on my pallet. As I chewed the chili sauce began to heat my mouth burning my tongue. I reached for my glass of lemonade to cool it down; I knew I shouldn’t have chosen extra spicy. But it continued to burn away, my mouth felt like it was on fire, I was panting like a dog and sweating like a pig. What a sight, and in front of Alex. I couldn’t take the heat any longer so opened my mouth and spat it out. I looked up to find three pairs of eyes staring at me in shock and disgust. I smiled sheepishly hoping to hide my humiliation, “I need to go to the bathroom”. I left the table and as soon as I was out of sight burst into tears, I ran to toilets and hid in a cubical. I no longer cared that I was crying a river hysterically and that probably everyone in Nandos could hear me because let’s face it my social life as already over anyway. I don’t know how long I was sitting there with my face in my palms but it must have been at least an hour because at 11 o’clock I heard a knock on the cubical door and a small voice say, “are you all right in there Robyn?” It was Katy, which surprised me, I thought she was with Jacky now, but she clearly still had some respect for me. “I guess?” I replied to her beneath sniffs and stutters. I opened the cubical door, to see my red-eyed reflection in the mirror opposite then a head popped into vision, “We’re going now, are you coming?” Katy said. “I guess I have to,”

“You know, it wasn’t that bad. Jacky’s the only one who won’t let it go. Alex hasn’t said anything, and I don’t care,” Katy said, I could tell she was trying hard to make me feel better but I was too tired an embarrassed to take much notice. I gave her a shy smile then we left the toilets together. I saw Alex and Jacky waiting for me, there was a glint of satisfaction in Jacky’s eyes, she was obviously restraining herself from making some rude remark. But I didn’t need her to say anything because just that innocent look that she gave me was enough to make my blood boil. But Alex stood there emotionless. He made no comment, which relieved me but then didn’t make the effort to smile or even acknowledge me.

We walked home glumly, it was an awkward sort of atmosphere everyone fed up and too tired to say anything, accept Jacky who as usual had loads to say. She was chatting on although no one was really listening. I was so relieved when we finally reached the front gate outside my house I could have kissed the floor like athletes do after races, but I didn’t to save the pleasure Jacky would have got out of teasing me for a week. “Thanks guys,” I said timidly as I hugged Katy and waved to the others before walking up the path and opening the front door to find my mum on the other side waiting for me. I took one look back and was disappointed to find Alex didn’t even look in my direction, but then what more could I expect. Who would want to be seen with a girl who spat out her extra spicy chicken wrap when it was too hot for her to cope with and ran off crying to the toilets like a baby? He must have been feeling ashamed and stupid for saying he liked me, I bet he was regretting every word he had said to me. School was out of the question, how could I return after tonight’s event’s I would be the laughing stock of the school. “Are you ok honey,” I snapped back into reality as I heard my mums voice, her arms were already around me grasping me in a strong hug. “Your eyes look sore, and what happened to your make-up? Have you been crying?” I had no control anymore. My tears rolled down my cheeks, touching the edge of my lip so I could taste the salty liquid. I covered my face with my hand, trying to hide my tears from sight, but it was too late, my mum saw. Without answering my mum, I ran upstairs and to my bedroom exhausted from the whole thing and flopped onto my bed. I looked a state, but right then I didn’t care, all I wanted was to sleep and wait until the morning to figure out how I was going escape social rejection!

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