Forgetting is So Hard to Do (sequel to The Direction Love Travels In)

Sequel to The Direction Love Travels In. Takes place 6 months after Kaylynn's death. It shows how each individual character changes and moves on. For some it's harder to do. And it's the ones you least expect. Kaylynn finally earns her wings. And Louis and Bella advance their relationship


8. The Cutting Edge

Liam felt it agian.. that need to cut boiled in his blood. he had to forget. forget everything. he grabbed his secret box of razors from under his bed and took one out. he stroked the metallic razor with his thumb. he ran his finger over the sharp edge, slicing the skin open. he blinked a couple times as he contiued to rub his thub over the edge of his razor, making the cut deeper and deeper. with a blank look on his face, he rolled up his sleeve and cut into the sparse clear spaces of skin. his inner arms were decorated with scars. he thought they were beautiful. each one had their own story, their own reason. he watched as the blood streamed down his arm. the side of his mouth began to twitch.. he loved this feeling. he loved the pain.


Bella and Louis were in the kitchen making a tasty snack. They were going to watch Grease for the one millionth time. Louis was trying to remember what he was supposed to tell his fiancee

"where the hell are all the spoons?" bella groaned.

"UNDER THE BED!"  thats what he was supposed to tell her, but what was it that was under the bed...he couldn't remember.

Bella gave louis a weird look. "why are the spoons under the bed?" she asked.

louis laughed. "nooo not the spoons... kaylynn told me to tell you that something was under the bed in this dream i had."

bella's eyes went wide like she knew what he was talking about, because she did. bella ran out of the kitchen to liam's room. she slammed the door open. liam turned to her shocked. she ran to his side and slapped the razor out of his hand. "what in gods name is wrong with you liam! are you crazy!" She screamed.

"Only as crazy as you are.." he mumbled. Liam knew about Bella's cutting problem.

"Well unlike you Liam, I stopped cutting" Bella put her hands on her hips.

Liam was furious. She had interrupted him and brought him back to the reality he hated so much. The reality from which he ran away from. "Congratulations! Would you like a god damned mother fucking sticker?!!" His voice was harsh and mean.

Bella relaxed her arms giving him a soft expression "no Liam I  dont want a sticker, i want you to stop this... Kaylynn wants you to stop.." She explained with her voice soft.

 "Well I don't want to stop" his expression was as blunt as his words.

Bella sat down beside him "look Liam I understand how you feel because I was in your shoes before..but you have to believe me when I say it's not as hard as you think it is "

Liam shook his head "why should I listen to you?? You're pretty Fucked up too... don't think I don't know...cuz I do...I know that you still think about Harry... I know deep down inside you still want him.. You may have stopped cutting but you still feel deep hatred for yourself..." Liam was very observant of the people around him.

 Bella was shocked by liam's words. He was right..part of her heart still beat forbharry she was just to scared to admit it to herself. She sighed and knelt in the ground reaching for something attached to the mattress under the bed. "If youre not going to listen to me then at least listen to kaylynn" she said her voice no longer soft and kind. He caught it with both of his Hands and laid it in his lap as Bella walked out.

     As Bella made her way back to Louis, she saw a sight that almost stopped her heart Harry was holding some blonde bimbo in his arms while she cried. Jealousy flowed through her veins. Harry turned to her and flashed her a confused look. "Bella... umm can you uh..." he asked gesturing with head to faith.

Bella fumbled her words. "Oh um yeah sorry.." she replied as she left the room and returned to Louis.


Harry held Faith tight as he watched bella walk away. he turned to her and kissed the top of your head. "faith, everything is going to be okay.. i promise you that, you can stay here for as long as you need to...i dont want you going back there, its not safe. i wouldnt be able to stand it if he hurt you again." faith nestled her face into harry and continued to cry. she didnt speak,only the soft sound of her sobs filled the room. Harry wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. "Please stop crying...everything is going to be okay.."  Harry felt like he was going to start crying as well.

She pulled away from harry and pushed her hair back out of her face. "Everything is just..." she began as she tugged on her hair. She shook her head and wiped her remaining tears as she stood up. "I'm going to bed...thanks again...for everything" she half smiled and walked to harry's room.


Liam opened the small wooden box to find a CD player woth headphones and 6 CDs. They were each labled with a name. He pulled out the CD player and the disk labled with his name. He placed the disk in the player, put the head phones on, and pressed play.

"Hi Liam its me..kaylynn...if your hearing this right now...that probably means I'm gone now or that you found this by chance...but its probably because I'm gone. Liam you are stronger than you think you are. Take a hard and honest look at yourself. I know you've gone through a lot this past summer, but you need to gain your control back and stop running away from your feelings. You need to accept your emotions and find another way to cope... you need to put down the razor and get on with the responsibilities of being you. Because I know you....and cutting yourself...well that's just not you..don't make it who you are.don't be weak...don't live on your mistakes, learn from them. Focus on becoming strong not on defacing yourself. I'm sorry if I sound harsh or cold, but the last thing you need is a pat on the back. Be real or be nobody. please liam,stop hurting yourself. For me.. I know that even though I'm begging for you to stop, you're not going to, but just keep me in mind the next time you want to cut.I love you Liam... I'm sorry you do this to yourself...Im sorry that you are so weak.. please just know that youre not alone... if you ever need to talk just pray and i'll listen. Love forever and always....kaylynn"

tears streamed down his cheeks as the recording ended. He let her down...he wiped his tears with his wrist and it felt bumpy to his cheeks. The raised up scars now seemed like millions of mistakes. The same ones over and over again all over his arms. He took off the head phones and put them back into the box after taking out his CD. This time he was determined to get over his disorder... he was promising to himself and kaylynn that he would feel again. He wanted to fix each and Every one of his mistakes.


Bella and louis fell asleep together on the couch. morning felt as though it came way too quickly and it made her feel uneasy. she escaped from Louis's arms and walked to the kitchen to find harry and faith cooing lovey dovey shit with each other. she rolled her eyes and opened the fridge. "well that was quick harry" she mumbled to herself. she didnt mean for them to hear it but they did. harry groaned.

"bella cant you just be happy for me or at least try to keep your comments to yourself." harry pleaded. faith stood beside him awkwardly and looked to the floor.

"oh, Im sorry.....that your dating a blonde bimbo" bella was being sarcastic. faith clenched her fist. she could feel herself slowly loosing her control, a bad habbit she had obtained from her father.
harry sighed. "bella please just stop.."

 bella chuckled. "no its just kind of annoying... at least keep the fun in the bedroom. and i mean you can do wayy better than that.."

Faith stepped towards bella. "excuse me?" she asked defensively.

"okay girls....please just calm down...lets not start a fight.." harry crept towards them slowly.

bella eyed Faith with a look of horror. "n-n-nothing. im sorry" she stuttered

faith swatted harry away as he tried to take her hand. "no really, what did you say?" faith insisted with a sarcastic tone

bella toughened up a bit. "look i truthfully have nothing against you its just...harry...he um..he takes things fast.  You think he loves you But the next thing you know he's telling you to get the fuck out of his room." she says looking towards harry. harry looks to the ground feeling a bit guilty. faith continues to glare at bella, her fists clenched tightly. "and yeah.. you know what... i do have something against're a dumb bitch for dating him." bella grunted.

That was it, faith was pissed. she shoved her with all he strength and anger. bella fell to the ground. she jumped up and tackled faith to the ground. the scratched eachother and pulled eachothers hair. harry looked at them wide eyed and paralyzed. bella sat ontop of faith pulling her hair and clawing at her. faith rolled over and sneered. "you fight like a little bitch" faith pinned her down to the ground. bella squirmed trying to get free. faith Kneed bella in the stomach. harry stood there stunned and kind of turned on by the two hot girls fighting over him. bella smashed her head into faith causing her to let bella go and stumble back a bit. bella reached for her and accidentally tore faiths worn out t-shirt. faith lets out a girly noise and slaps bella. harry's eyes go wide as he pulls faith off of bella.

"okay girls, stop.." he begs his voice soft.

 faith pulls away from harry and continues to attack bella.


louis wakes up and runs to harry shocked at what he sees. He tries to pull Faith off but she. shrugs him off and continues attacking Bella. Bella tries to block her punches screaming loudly Louis ripped the heavily breathing Faith off of his fiancée and held her in an agressive head lock. Bella sat up looking terrified and stunned. Bella had a bloody lip and a black eye. Louis gripped faith's neck tighter. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He shouts squeezing her throat. Harry and Bella looked at him astonished. Never before had they heard him yell so cross. Faith tried to pry Louis's arms off of her neck but his grip was too strong.

"Louis let her go" harry pleaded.

Louis reluctantly released Faith and she fell to her knees, gasping for air. Faith was scared of herself. Never before had she lost control like that. She began to feel anxious and nervous. She looked around the room at the mixed emotions she was reading off of harry Louis and Bella's faces. She began to cry. "Guys..I..oh my God what have I done l...I knew this was...a bad Idea."  she stood up and slouched out of the room with her head hung low anad her face buried into her hands. She walked outside and sat on the steps of the front door smoking a cigarette.

Harry looked from bella to louis to the departing faith. he sighed and ran out to her."babe whats wrong? why....? why did you do that?" he asked as he put his arm around her waist. She was smoking, gross.

she turned to him with teary eyes "dont judge me" she begged. harry stood there silently not sure of what to say. "they are just cigarettes, don't get freaked out. almost everybody smokes. I can;t help it,  I have a lot of bad habbits."she explained as she looked down to the floor.

harry looked at the top of her head. he brushed his hand through her hair and she looked up and flashed him a nervous smile. harry half smiled. "my sister recently died of leukemia..." That was all he could think of to say.

"im so soryy.."she began.

"dont be sorry for me..i moved on" he lied to both her and himself. he leaned in and kissed her. faith hesitated but then kissed him back.

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