World So Cold

Love is never simple. Love is never easy. There is more grey than there is black and white. Zayn Malik Fan Fiction


4. Limbo


The power charged Raggaeton beats pour from the boom boxes that are scattered around the sand. A few feet from the shore is a bonfire that has just started to flame up. When I arrive, Giancarlo is throwing some wood into it to keep it alive, and a lot of kids from my part of town are there and they are all having a good time. There are coolers with Malta( a Spanish malt beverage) and sodas. Vita is cooking on the small grill, the air around me smells like barbeque and fire.

Ay cabron” Giancarlo claps me up and offers me a Malta. When I open it and take a swing, Olive arrives. She looks at us and goes to my sister who is tying different colored ribbons to a large bamboo stick that we use for limbo. They wear shirts with an iron on photo of Damien on it. Most of these kids, especially Giancarlo, had been told not to come to the funeral by Damien’s parents. It was safe to say I was the only Mexican there. It offended them, especially Vita who wanted nothing more than to say goodbye, but they found a better way. This celebration of life that they planned in two hours. “How was the funeral?” Giancarlo raises an eyebrow at me, he wasn’t as tight with Damien as I was, but everyone at this bonfire had been tied to him somehow.

“Sad,” I sit in the sad and look at the intense flames that spring colors of orange, red and yellow. “His parents are tough”

“No kidding” he shakes his head and takes a drink from his soda. “When his mom told me not to show, she called me a beaner” he runs his hand over his cropped cut. “A beaner of all things”

Being called a beaner is offensive but it could be worse. “Well if looks could kill Gian, I’d be dead. Muerto en piso” he looks at me then chuckles some. “Y sabes que…I got to go live with Siobhan y familia

When my mother sprung the news on me that I’d be moving in with Siobhan and her family until graduation, I told her I would rather move back to Mexico. It seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Living with them wouldn’t be so bad, I’d finally have my own space as opposed to sharing a room with Carlos. But still, how could I get even with Honcho and his men if I were living with Siobhan and her family. When I tell Giancarlo this, he shakes his head. “Paco, you’re stupid or something?”


“She’s giving you a chance to live and be something, quit complaining tonto

When Siobhan arrives, the Limbo has started, I am holding one end of the stick while Carlos holds the other end. He watches with a shit eating grin as the girls bend back and move with ease under the Limbo stick. Siobhan sits by the fire, she is wearing a shirt with Damien’s face on it and a pair of worn and stressed jeans. “Cabron hold this” I hand off the end of the stick to Giancarlo who had been clapping the girls on. I grab a Malta and make my way to Siobhan. When I sit beside her, she takes it and sips.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I look at her, and she is looking back intently. She isn’t smiling, she isn’t frowning, she’s just…indifferent. Damn this girl is difficult.

“This is beautiful” she allows herself to smile. “Damien would have loved it”

I sure hope so. “Yeah”, the heat from the flames is felt on my face, my neck, my shoulders. It isn’t as intense as the heat one feels when a bullet pierces the skin. It is a different heat. “Look mujer, I’m sorry if me staying with you will impose”

“It wont” she chews her bottom lip “Its just going to take time to get used to” she takes another sip of the Malta and sets the bottle beside her. Siobhan turns her torso to me, and her eyes blaze into my own.

I could look into those eyes forever.

“Can you promise me that we wont be in danger” her eyebrows pull together as she says this. Truth is, I cant promise her anything. My life is not certain, it is not easy, but it is worth living…somehow. “Promise me that these problems will all go away”
“I promise” and I lie to her. Her eyes look dependent on my words, they are dependent on my lie. Why the fuck do I lie to her? Because I want to comfort her, I want her to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel, I want to give her heart a break. “Lets just count our blessings, ok?”

She nods, and her smile quickly fades, she is looking behind me, and not only is she looking but so are the other people.

“Mira que llevo el gato” Giancarlo scolds in Spanish. It means, look what the cat bought in. I look over my shoulder and see Zayn standing there.

“Siobhan, can we talk” he asks.

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