Summer With Styles

Macey Calihan is a grown woman now, and when she comes in contact with an old box of keepsakes, she remembers a series of incidents that made her the woman she is today. As a youngster, she was struggling with past occurrences of suicide, self harm, and of course depression, all while trying to balance out the good and bad things of her life. She was so close to happiness when her adoptive parents informed her she and her brother, Carter, would be going to the U.K. to spend the summer at her father's recording studio. She then meets the boy -- or boys -- who save her life, only to pick it up and wreck it again in a new, exciting way. Macey falls head over heels for one, while another falls for her. The only thing standing in her way of happiness, is one decision. But as it turns out, some decisions make themselves whether you like it or not.

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7. Torn

 

When you're torn between what's good and what's right, sometimes the choices you make not only affect you, but also everyone around you. I didn't know that as a seventeen year old girl, nor did I even care that I was ignorant of the truth.

He said it. He spilled out his heart and soul for me.

“Whenever I'm around you,” he began, rubbing his hand up my arm. “The only person I see is you. At night I lay in bed and dream of what it would be like to have you, to be lucky enough to call you mine. But I'm not.”

“Zayn...” I said, shoving his hand away. How did we end up that way, locked in each other's eyes?

“Before you push me away,” he said. “I want you to know that I love you.”

“Stop...”

“I want you so bad it hurts, but I know you don't feel the same way.”

“That is correct,” I said, trying to squeeze passed him, but he stopped me.

“But you know there's something between us.” He took my hand in his, grasping it firmly. “I can tell that when we touch, you feel it too.”

Speechless. I couldn't let this happen. He leaned in slowly, his eyes shutting in anticipation. I felt mine close as well, moving into his lips so gently.

Macey...

That voice. That beautiful, caring voice flooded my mind. Harry's voice, sighing my name on the night we proved our love to each other. Glimpses of his smile rushed through my brain, and before Zayn could actually kiss me, I shoved him. Maybe a little too hard.

“Stop!” I yelled, pushing him into the wall.

He was angry, clenching his fists, but he lightened up when he saw the fear in my eyes. “I see...” he mumbled, shaking his head in confusion. “I don't get you, Macey!” His voice grew cold and threatening as he shouted at me. “When you're around me you act like you want me, but every time we get the chance to take the next step you back down!”

“Sorry that you've misunderstood me!” I shouted back at him.

“No, I haven't! You know it's killing me to see you with my best friend!”

“NO!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, probably straining my vocal cords. “I DON'T CARE IF IT KILLS YOU THAT I'M WITH HIM. BECAUSE WHEN I'M NOT WITH HIM, IT KILLS ME!!” I had my pointer finger in his face at that point, and tears were forming in my eyes. In reality I was never a mean person, although in my head I wasn't so nice. I didn't mean to be so short with him, but he ticked me off saying those things. I realized then that things had gotten a little out of hand and I backed away from him. “I don't expect you to understand, but you have to realize that I don't love you. And I never will.”

I left the studio without further hesitation, clenching my heart in pain. It wasn't true, none of it, and I didn't even know it until I said it. Zayn – in fact – did mean so much to me, and a part of me might have actually wanted to be with him.

But that boy...that curly-haired, green-eyed boy I loved so much meant more to me than life itself. I couldn't ruin it, not this time. I'd finally found my happiness by some odd twist of fate and if I let it go, I was sure to lose my mind.

Nevertheless, I couldn't carry the guilt on my shoulders for another minute; the pressure got to me in a matter of seconds. I had to call Harry and tell him what happened.

“Harry!” I said frantically as I hopped into a cab. “Please don't be mad.”

“What?” He asked in that beautiful, sweet voice of his.

“Zayn came back to the studio and he...he tried to...”

“Macey calm down, what is it?”

“He tried to kiss me.”

The phone hung up, and after trying to call him back multiple times, I realized he was ignoring my calls. The last time I caught his answering machine I said, “Harry, I love you. Don't do anything you'll regret.”

I got back home, praying to God that Harry would come to his senses and not do anything rash. I hated the thought of he and one of his best friends arguing...or even fighting, if it got that far. Especially over something as unimportant as me.

Whoah, mood change. Hadn't felt like that in a while.

All of a sudden I felt sick, like I was going to throw up the nervousness. But then Louis appeared on my doorstep, knocking fastly. “What are you doing here?” I laughed as I opened the door. Then I noticed his panick. “What's wrong?”

He came inside and began pacing back and forth, rubbing his head and muttering something to himself. Finally he said, “Harry beat the crap out of Zayn and the media caught sight of it.”

“WHAT!?” I yelled, freaking out myself. I caused it. It was me, all my fault. I should have never gone back to the studio...

“They're saying awful things about them and fans are starting to call you names.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I rolled my eyes, desperate for information. “But is Harry okay? Is Zayn?”

“Zayn has a broken rib, but Harry is fine. Zayn didn't fight back because he said he deserved it.”

I began to cry instantly, forgetting that I set limits for myself and vowed to stay strong no matter the circumstance. Louis took me in his arms and hushed me, patting my head lightly. “It's okay, Macey. It was just a brief lapse in judgment. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I did!” I confessed. “He was going to kiss me and I was going to let him!”

“Yes, but you didn't let him...did you?”

“Of course not,” I said truthfully.

He let go and sat with me on the couch. “I wish I could make heads or tales of this. I mean, I always knew Zayn was straight forward, but I never thought he would go after one of our girlfriends. Honestly, if it were Eleanor instead of you, I probably would have done the same.”

“No you wouldn't,” I said, drying my eyes. “Not if it was one of the boys.”

“You're probably right. But hey...” he placed a caring hand on my shoulder. “Harry should be here any minute. Stop crying and know that he did it because he loves you.”

“But I came between his friendship with Zayn.”

“They'll work it out. But first...”

Knock Knock Knock

Harry came in, his face hinting there had been tears there previously. “I'm so sorry,” he said. He didn't even move from in front of the door, he just stood there looking deeply at me. “I lost control.”

I jumped up into his arms and whispered, “You're so stupid, Harry.”

“I know,” he said back. “I wasn't thinking.”

I sighed and kissed him on the lips. Deep down I was worried about Zayn, but in a way it was heroic for Harry to look out for me like that. It was wrong for him to fight him, but it was nice to think he cared about me that much.

Kissing Zayn would have been so erotic and sensational...so good. But it wouldn't have been right. Betryal – in my book – is the worst thing to come of a relationship. Zayn and Harry were on bad terms but at least I could say I did nothing wrong...or did I?

Maybe I really did give Zayn the wrong idea unconsciously, or it might have even been on purpose. The only thing I knew was that here soon, I would have to figure out how I really felt about him, or my relationship with Harry wouldn't last very long.

 

 

Niall forced me to go shopping with him for his mum's birthday. He said I had “good taste” or something, but I was so exhausted I didn't even want to move. I didn't know what it was, the fact that I had been going and running around nonstop since I started dating Harry, or that I just had a lack of sleep. Whatever it was, I wasn't in the mood for much of anything.

“You okay?” Niall asked while we were looking at the jewelry shop window. “You seem...down.”

“I feel sick,” I said, feeling the wrenching of my gut.

“Maybe you should sit down.”

We found a bench just on the sidewalk and relaxed for a while. It was literally the first time Niall and I got to talk one-on-one, and I was kind of uncomfortable, plus it didn't help that my feet felt like heavy bricks.

“What's up?” He said, poking me in the shoulder. “You and Harry having problems?”

“Absolutely not,” I laughed. “Everything's great.”

“You're lying.”

“I'm just...I don't know. Niall, say you were dating this amazing girl that you loved very, very much. But then this other girl comes along and she's gorgeous, insanely sweet and sensitive...and you felt like maybe she was better for you. But you didn't want to leave your girlfriend. What would you do?”

He studied my question for a few moments, making weird little movements with his eyebrows in the process. “Well,” he began. “I would stay with my girlfriend of course. I wouldn't wreck a beautiful relationship just to see what else is out there.”

Guess that answered my question, and forced me to make up my mind.

No way would I let Zayn's feelings for me come between Harry and I.

“For what it's worth,” he said, nudging me. “Harry loves you so much. I've never seen him so happy.”

 

Looking back on the girl I was when Zayn tried to kiss me, I know now that my feelings for Harry were stronger than I ever dreamed imaginable. But now that I'm diving into this keepsake box...I know that sometimes – no matter how you feel about someone – one tragic incident can change your feelings in seconds.

 

 

Author's Note:  I want to thank you guys for all the attention the story has been getting! I wanted to take a different approach on this fanfic because I didn't want it to be cliche or just like all the others in different words. I try to make my stories as clear and vivid as I can, so I know they usually come out very long. I apologize for that, but hopefully you enjoy the details :) Thank you so so so so much and keep checking back for new chapters! I love you all<3 :)

 

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