Summer With Styles

Macey Calihan is a grown woman now, and when she comes in contact with an old box of keepsakes, she remembers a series of incidents that made her the woman she is today. As a youngster, she was struggling with past occurrences of suicide, self harm, and of course depression, all while trying to balance out the good and bad things of her life. She was so close to happiness when her adoptive parents informed her she and her brother, Carter, would be going to the U.K. to spend the summer at her father's recording studio. She then meets the boy -- or boys -- who save her life, only to pick it up and wreck it again in a new, exciting way. Macey falls head over heels for one, while another falls for her. The only thing standing in her way of happiness, is one decision. But as it turns out, some decisions make themselves whether you like it or not.

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17. Reunited

 

I got home and breathed in that salty, Miami air that I love – but hated – so much. The guilt of leaving Harry without saying goodbye was getting to me, but I had to stay strong and keep my head high because there was nothing else left to do. He made his point; he cheated. He put forth the ultimate betrayal and expected me to forgive him in the blink of an eye. I couldn't, and I didn't.

For months on end, I cried myself to sleep every night. I talked to Zayn regularly, and even spoke to Harry when I found out the sex of our baby. He was so happy to hear my voice I almost cracked and gave into my temptations.

Finally I started school at the University of Florida studying music production, just like my dad Joe did. Somehow, in the process of starting my own family, I realized I'd been putting him and Lizzie in the dark for no reason. Harry taught me about family, and how even though your family might be slightly dysfunctional, you still love them no matter what. So I made a vow to myself that I would love my baby just as my real, and adoptive, parents loved me.

Seasons passed. Autumn, winter, then came spring. My third trimester.

Harry and the boys made plans to visit the states so that Harry could see the birth of our beautiful daughter. I wasn't looking forward to seeing his face for the first time in months, but I couldn't bear the thought of her growing up without a father.

They made it just in time for my baby shower.

I remember gasping when he walked into the room. He wasn't the same Harry I fell in love with at all. His cheeks were closed inward a bit, his eyes tired and lifeless, and he was so skinny it looked like he hadn't ate in weeks. You could tell he was disgusted with himself, and that he had gotten into something bad, whether it be alcohol, gambling...or even drugs. Did I do that to him?

“Hey,” I said, casually walking up to him with my huge, pregnant belly. It felt strange having someone growing inside me, but it made me so much more happier knowing she was mine. “How are you?”

He took one look at me and I swear he almost cried. Gazing into his eyes all those feelings instantly came back to me. Looking at his face – even though it looked exhausted – I felt free again, going back to that innocent time of my life when he was the only thing on my mind. “I'm fine. You look...incredible.”

“You're literally glowing!” Louis shouted, rubbing his hands on my stomach. “Ohh! I felt a kick. And another! At this rate this baby will come out doing kung fu.”

“I WANNA FEEL!” Niall said, shoving him out of the way and putting his ear to my bump. “I hear something! It's ALIVE!”

“Of course it is, now me!” Liam scrambled to place his hands, and giggled when she kicked.

I managed a laugh somehow, sending chills down my spine. I missed those boys so much I didn't even realize it, and in that moment I felt ashamed for leaving the way I did. I looked at each of them lovingly, so happy that they had come. Then...I saw Zayn standing behind them, smiling with his hands in his pockets.

I had kept in touch with him from the day I left, literally calling him every week to see how Harry was and telling him about my doctor's visits. I suppose he gave all the news from my visits to Harry, seeing as how I really couldn't talk to him without emotions flooding my eyes.

I gave Zayn a hug, hearing him whisper in my ear, “You look beautiful.”

The baby shower went on beautifully, even though the boys were a little uncomfortable with all the old ladies playing baby games and talking about girly things. But, it was kind of refreshing that they did it for me. They knew I wanted them to be there...at least I assumed they did.

Then the moment came. The moment where Harry and I had to be alone to talk about where things went from there. “I guess I can stay here for a few weeks after she's born and help out.”

“Don't bother. You don't have to do me any favors.” I didn't mean to sound so rude and angry, but it was like a dark curtain had draped over my feelings for him. They were still there, but they hid behind a wall of heartache and regret.

“Don't be like that,” he said, cupping his face in his hands. “What I did was careless and stupid, but don't punish our baby only because you hate me.”

“I don't hate you! And I'm not punishing her, I'm protecting her. I don't want you to be in her life for a split second, only to have you walk out and go back to the tour the next.”

He looked so mad the veins in his forehead were starting to show. “I know I hurt you really bad, Macey, but I would never, ever dare hurt her. I will get out of any concert I have to if that means I get to see her every single day. You're really twisted if you think I would run out on her like you did me.”

I fumed. HOW COULD HE SAY THAT?

“You fucking cheated on me!” I yelled, standing to my feet and shoving him a little bit. “I loved you so much and you ruined me! I had the right to run out on you because you PROVED to me that you didn't give a shit about anyone but yourself!!!”

My adrenaline rushed and my heart pounded from my chest, sending him signals to back down before I really blew my top. I could've hurt him so bad if I had wanted to, but I didn't. I tried to calm myself and let him speak.

“I was drunk, Mackenzie!” He yelled back. “I don't even remember sleeping with that girl. I just remember I was dancing with the guys, and then everything went black! If I had known what I was doing, I would have never done it because I loved you so much! I would never actually want to do that to you, but you seem to think otherwise!”

I broke down in tears as he said his next words. “Macey,” his voice softened as he took my face in his hands. “I don't want this. I've been going crazy without you. I never get any sleep, I can't think about anything else but how sorry I am. Give me a chance to prove to you just how sorry I am. It'll take a lifetime to get your trust back, but I'm willing to work if you are. Honestly, I can't see myself in fifty years without you, so please, please don't make it end up that way.”

Suddenly I felt a pain. Not just any kind of pain, though. It started in my lower back and curled around to my stomach and pelvis, tearing and ripping at every organ in my body. I shrieked in terror as I looked down to the puddle on the floor.

“Did you just go on yourself?” He asked, holding back a laugh.

My eyes darted from the ground, to him, back to the ground, and to him again. Fear struck my throat to where I almost couldn't speak. The pain came again, harder this time. “NO, IDIOT!” I yelled. “THE BABY'S COMING!”

Pain. Seventeen hours. Pain. Yelling. Pain. Arguing about what to name her. Pain. Epidurals...finally no damn pain. But still, Harry and I were still fighting and I forced him to leave my room before I literally cut him in half.

Time to push.

1, 2, 3....Harry where are you?

1, 2, 3....I love you, come back.

He's there now, by my side, coaching me to go further and further until she's here.

1, 2, 3....I love you too, Macey.

1, 3, 3....we hear a small cry of a baby girl that just came into the world. I looked up at Harry whose eyes were moist with warm tears, mine getting that way. Finally, they brought her closer and closer until she was bundled up in my arms.

“I'm your daddy,” Harry whispered, putting his finger in her tiny right hand. She was so gorgeous with a head full of brown hair and curious green eyes. Dimples appeared on her cheeks when she grinned her little baby smile. I sighed pridefully, admiring my daughter.

“Welcome, to the world, Darcy Anne Elizabeth Styles,” I said, kissing her forehead. Harry looked at me, shocked that I called her the name he picked out.

“I thought you wanted to name her Annabeth after your real mom,” he said.

“I did, but I think Anne after your mom, and Elizabeth after Lizzie suits her much better.”

He smiled and bent down to kiss my forehead, but I moved my face up slightly, allowing him to plant it softly on my lips. Out of nowhere, we became a family. Whether he and I were together or not, we were a family.

Harry stayed in Florida for about two months. Dirty baby bottles and a few thousand diapers later, it was time for him to leave and I let him. I let him walk out the door even though he said he would stay forever if I just asked him to.

But I didn't. I couldn't find it in myself to forgive him. I did want him to stay, but like I said before, I didn't want Darcy coming between him and his career. I wanted him to live a full and happy life like he had planned.

Still, he visited Darcy and I every chance he got...the perfect father. Zayn and I were in a relationship, kind of in a way. Basically we just hung out and talked about things, but we didn't tell Harry for the sake of sanity. I think he knew for the most part. I actually thought about taking him back, but always put it off because we were still fighting about everything.

Everything was going okay for the most part, until Darcy called Zayn her daddy.

In front of Harry.

I'll never forget that day, ever. Harry of course got angry, going off at Zayn saying he was trying to take his child from him. I spent the entire argument cuddled with Darcy on the couch, crying my eyes out.

“Mommy, why is daddy and Zayn fighting?” She asked in her little voice. “Why are you crying, mommy?”

I couldn't even answer her. Harry stormed out the door and jumped in his car. I handed Darcy to Zayn and quickly ran after him, jumping in the car with him just before he drove off.

“Why are you telling her Zayn's her dad!?!” He yelled as we started going down the road.

“I didn't! She knows you're her dad, Harry! Every time you're not around she points to your picture and talks about you...her daddy. Zayn isn't even a part of her life.”

“Don't act like you two don't have something going,” he spat, pressing on the gas and going faster and faster. “I know about the days he takes off tour to come see you when I can't. I know, Macey.”

Like I expected, he knew exactly what Zayn and I were up to. “Do you expect me to feel guilty?” I asked.

“Yes, I do. I thought we were working on things!”

“We are!” I shouted back. “Zayn and I just have fun and hang out. It's not like we're a couple.”

“You just don't realize how much it hurts me. It's been over two years since that happened and you're still holding it over my head. I've had about fifteen concerts canceled for next month, just so I can spend time with you and Darcy, but you don't see the good in me anymore.”

“Don't put this on me! It's your fault things are the way they are!”

“STOP!” He said, hitting the break and veering onto the side of the road. “I'm sick and tired of trying to get you back! You've got me spitting nails because you're so damn stubborn. Will you just drop the act and realize that we love each other?! I know you still love me, if not you wouldn't want me anywhere near you. And you know good and damn well that I love you. Why are we playing this game? Let's just freaking be together, okay? Can we do that? Can we just be together and stop pretending like we're happy without each other?”

I couldn't believe it. He was right for once. I did love him, and I was stubborn.

I didn't say anything, I just kissed him. Fully and just like we never broke up, I brought back the innocence, the passion, and the love that we lost so long ago. But looking back, I realize now that we never really lost them, I was just hiding them.

Like he said, why play games? It was time to open my heart up to the man I loved again.

He pulled away and looked at me like he never had before. “I wasn't expecting that.”

“Neither was I, but I had to see if the magic was still there.”

“Was it?” He said with his cheeky grin I loved.

“Surprisingly....yes.”

He kissed me again and did a U-turn, heading back to my house. “Does this mean we're together again?”

“For the most part. We still have a lot of work to do, but I've been through worse things.”

I remembered that seventeen year old girl that jumped off cliffs in hopes of death, and slit her wrists because she felt so much pain. If I could make it through that, I could see past what Harry did and love him they way I was supposed to. He held on, encouraging and begging me every day to forgive me. Now it was time to agree.

“Damn!” he shouted. “I forgot to give Darcy her birthday present.”

“Really? What did he get her?”

“A big, huge barbie dream house. It's in the back. I can't wait to see her face when I give it to her.”

But little did we both know, that was a face he was never going to get to see again.

This tragedy was one that would hit me hard.

 

 

 

The last keepsake...time for an emotional rollercoaster I never wanted to see again. It hurts to remember that day and how awful things happen to the people I love. I pull it out, tears pouring down my face so fast that it blurs my vision. I can't do it, not yet. I can't face the cold reality of that day. I blocked it out so well in the past, but now it's my wedding day and I have to let go before I get married. I have to, but I just...can't.

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