Summer With Styles

Macey Calihan is a grown woman now, and when she comes in contact with an old box of keepsakes, she remembers a series of incidents that made her the woman she is today. As a youngster, she was struggling with past occurrences of suicide, self harm, and of course depression, all while trying to balance out the good and bad things of her life. She was so close to happiness when her adoptive parents informed her she and her brother, Carter, would be going to the U.K. to spend the summer at her father's recording studio. She then meets the boy -- or boys -- who save her life, only to pick it up and wreck it again in a new, exciting way. Macey falls head over heels for one, while another falls for her. The only thing standing in her way of happiness, is one decision. But as it turns out, some decisions make themselves whether you like it or not.

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15. Maybe I'm Loved

 

If you share your hopes and dreams with someone, the only think you can expect back in return is their full attention and love. That's how Harry and I once were. We were beautiful without even trying to be, the connection, and how we clicked...fate brought me to the United Kingdom, not a summer vacation. Things that I thought were golden, I found beauty in, but they broke before my eyes without warning. How do you go from loving someone one minute, to hating them a couple of seconds later? Let me tell, you it's easy. I've done it.

I didn't expect to find Harry in bed with another girl, nor did I have time to rationalize after I did so. My heart thought for me and it was destroyed. No more romantic evenings with the curly-haired dreamer anymore...no more midnight walks or dinners on the water. No more love, just like that. It was gone forever within the blink of an eye.

My mind escaped me as I saw a flashing light up ahead, a boy standing in the glare of it. I walked closer and closer to him, realizing it was Harry. He had the saddest look on his face, regretful. I backed away slowly as he started to come forward.

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” I yelled at him.

“Macey, please!” He said, reaching me and holding me in his grasp. “Don't leave me.”

“STOP!”

“It's not your time to go.”

I knew then what he was talking about. He was trying to keep me from dying, or from suffering even more than I already had, if that were possible. I fell limp in his arms as he words became almost inaudible. I could hear him say, “Macey, please, wake up....Macey....”

My eyes flashed open, my lungs ripping from my chest. I leaned over and spat up at least a whole gallon of water. My head was pounding and I felt like my heart might beat straight out of my chest if I didn't keep an open mind. Then I realized that the voice I heard wasn't Harry's at all, but it was Zayn's.

I looked up at him as he held me, noticing that we were both sopping wet. “Wh – ”

He pressed his finger to my lips and just sat there hugging me. “I thought you were gone, Macey! I chased you all the way here, and went in after you when you jumped. You must've hit your head on something at the bottom of the river.”

So that's what was tugging at me...those hands of his I thoughts might have been ropes or a net, or even a school of fish. I didn't know. “Why, Zayn!?” I said, spilling tears from my eyes. They wouldn't stop for anything, rolling down my hot red face just as fast as they could. “Why did you save me!? I want to die!”

“Stop, Macey!” He yelled, shaking me a little. “Don't you ever say that!”

“But I'm not even loved anymore! What's the point in living!?”

“YOU ARE LOVED!” He yelled, embracing me again. “You're loved so much and you don't even see it. You're loved by me!!”

Zayn did love me, I knew. But Harry's face replayed over and over again in my mind until my sobs were so uncontrollable I couldn't even stand up. My heart felt like it was being ripped from me, shredded into nothingness. The void I felt in my soul couldn't be replaced by anything.

The decision made itself. It was a question of Harry or Zayn anymore, obviously.

“Come on, let's get you to a hospital.”

I didn't even object. He grabbed his phone from the banister and called Niall, and picked me up like a baby. We began walking forward, and Niall soon pulled up in his fancy vehicle...but I was too torn up to even care what happened after that. All I wanted to do was get out of that place.

I woke up the next morning in the hospital. They gave me pain killers for my severe concussion, and apparently I was out for the rest of the night. I don't remember much of what happened after I got into Niall's car, but I remember the doctor telling them that the baby was fine.

“The baby?” Zayn asked. “What baby?”

“Macey and Harry's baby,” Niall replied, seeming a bit for himself for knowing when the other guys didn't.

“She's...”

“Pregnant, yes,” the doctor informed them.

I couldn't face anyone after that. The guys were sure to know, and Harry...

There was a knock on my room's door. “Come in,” I said with a bit of hurt in my voice. A curly haired boy with green eyes and gorgeous dimples came in with a bouquet of flowers and a balloon that said 'Get Well Soon.'

“What are you doing here?!” I spat at him. I wanted him away from me, as far as possible, whatever it took.

He sat down by my bedside and looked at me with worry in his eyes. “Macey...” he said. “I don't remember what happened last night. One minute I'm dancing and the next I woke up in my old bedroom at my mum's house. I can see your mad, but none of the guys will tell me what happened. They all seem pretty upset though.”

“Do you honestly want to know?”

“Yes, please.”

I paused for moment, thinking maybe I should just slap him and tell him to go to hell. But since he really didn't remember, I felt like I owed him some kind of explanation as to why I was doing what I was about to do. “Last night Zayn and I couldn't find you. Long story short, you ended up at your mom's house. When we walked in, you were having....you were having....having....”

I bursted into tears, my heart writhing in pain. I couldn't even say it out loud. He put his hand on my back, trying to comfort me, but I smacked it away. He knew he did something wrong. “I think I know what I did,” he said, guilt lingering in his voice. “Did I have sex with someone else?”

“How could you not remember?” I asked in between gasps for breath. “You looked at me right in the eye wile she was....she was....”

“Macey, look at me, look at me, Macey please.” But I couldn't. I could never forgive him for being so inconsiderate and heartless and careless.

“Wanna know something else? I'm pregnant,” I blurted, topping off the final blow. His eyes got wide and he stood from his seat and walked out the door, just like that. No words, no actions, he just left.

 

 

 

 

I never thought he would hurt me like that, but he did. The trust, the forever, the love, the happiness...it all boiled down to a moment and suddenly it didn't matter anymore. I realize now that I'm twenty eight years old, I wasn't insane for falling in love. To be honest, it was the best thing I ever did in my life. The first time I thought would be the last, and I was almost right.

 

I'm marrying him today. He reminds me of love and how it feels to be on top of the world.

But this time, now that I love him, I won't let him go so foolishly.

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