Back For You

They say friendship lasts forever. Louis Tomlinson and Lillian Brie thought that this statement was completely true. But when one "yes" from Simon Cowell changes their fate together they need to find their way back together. After years of solitude, Louis comes back to Doncaster for a visit. Just as he promised. Because when two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back.

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8. Day 7 - Hurting

LILY POV

I lay in my bed looking out the window. I stared at the bed where Louis was supposed to be. I would usually wake up with some sort of smile on my face because of the way he slept, the way he looked when he slept. Everything about him. The silence was maddening but I heard some people talking down stairs so I tried to listen to that as best as I could. 

I gave up in the end, grabbing my dressing gown and walking into the kitchen. I looked at myself in the mirror, I must have been crying in my sleep because my eyes were all puffy. I splashed water all over my face   trying to wash away the sadness that obviously showed on my face. I put on subtle makeup, I just made sure that I was covering up all of my puffiness and bags. I continued staring myself in the mirror, almost waiting for Lou to just come up behind me and give me a big hug. But no matter how long I waited, he didn't come. I walked to our closet and tried to decided what to wear to see Lou. I decided to wear what I wore on our first date and what I wore during our first kiss. Maybe that would jog his memory? I got dressed and ran down stairs to find everyone sitting round the table eating toaster waffles. This brought back the memory of me burning waffles and Lou coming to save the day. 

All of the boys were dressing pretty casual for celebrities. No designer clothes, just plain tees and jeans. 

"Good you're up!" Niall exclaimed, 

"Want any food?" Harry asked offering me a waffle. 

I shook my head saying no. Once all of the boys finished their food we all poured out of the room into the car. Harry drove and all the boys were teasing him. Marley and Cherie laughed along to their jokes and talked alot. Liam had his arm wrapped around Cherie, their... relationship confused me. Judging by the things that Lou told me, Liam was very responsible. And Cherie, was the opposite of responsible. A wave of mixed emotions rushed through me, I was very happy for them but I missed having that with Lou. When we arrived at the hospital everyone ran out. Cherie ran out so fast that her scarf flew off into Liam's face who picked her up and carried her in. I stepped out of the car slowly walking into the hospital taking deep breaths. 

A nurse led us to Lou's room, she was telling us something. Something about protocols, I was too busy in my own thoughts to listen to her. After what seemed like forever we arrived at Lou's room.

LOUIS POV 

I blinked my eyes a couple of times adjusting to the light, I heard stirring outside of the door and tried to turn to see who was coming to visit me. A part of me hoped that it was my family but I knew that they wouldn't be coming. Apparently, they couldn't get a flight out of... wherever they went. I couldn't quite remember. However, I really hoped that it was Lily. There was some piece of me that really wanted to see her, that really wanted to be with her. She was the first to come in this time, I expected everyone else to come in but she was alone.

"Where is everyone else today?" I asked, she looked really nice today. But something in particular caught my eye, it was her necklace. 

"They're just outside," her voice echoed throughout the room, her voice was calm today, almost joyful.

"That's a nice necklace." I tried gesturing to it with my head but my cast wouldn't let me. 

She practically ran over to my bed, setting my head down and brushing my hair out of my eyes.

"I'm glad you think so," she said sitting down on the chair by my bed, "You did buy it for me."

She had a smile on her face and a slight tone of cheekiness to her voice. I much preferred this Lily compared to the one I met at an earlier date.

"Well then I have taste!" I responded,

"Funny story," she began, "I actually chose it out."

"Then its nice to know that I'm dating someone with taste," 

She laughed at me brushing her hair back behind her ears. The removal of her hair allowed me to glance more freely at her face, but I was busy listening to her voice. Her laugh was beautiful, just like the rest of her. I could tell why the past me was drawn to her. 

"Do you remember anything?" she asked, getting straight to the point. 

"I might not remember our past," I began, "But here, in the present, I find myself completely falling for you all over again."

"You're a lot smoother," she chuckled, "Weren't half this flirtatious before,"

"Did I have too be flirtatious before?" I put a touch of sarcasm on my voice even though I was genuinely curious.

"I guess not," she mumbled, "You might have murdered a man for all I cared. I wouldn't have stopped loving you."

There was a moment of silence when I finally realized how much this girl loved, loves, me. I smiled at her regretting what I had to respond. 

"I would love to tell you the feelings mutual, but I can't remember." she continued smiling at me though it seemed more forced now.  

"I like to think that the feeling was mutual. You did tell me that you loved me," 

I wasn't surprised by this comment, it seemed so predictable. Why wouldn't I tell her that I loved her? 

"Could you tell me a story?" I asked smiling.

"About what exactly?" she diverted her gaze to the floor,

"About us," I said, I tried reaching out to her but I was once again restricted, "And don't do that."

"Do what?' she kept looking at the floor,

"Don't look at the floor, it stops me from seeing your beautiful eyes," 

A light blush rose on her cheeks before she looked up at me, staring at me straight in the eye. Her eyes were like pools of chocolate. So warm, kind, understanding, loving. 

"It was only a couple of days ago, I wanted to go to the park and there was an icecream van," 

She told me all about our 'adventures' from the past few days before the rest of the group came in. When the rest of the group came in she returned to her silence. The key difference was that she was smiling this time round. She spent the entire time smiling and staring at me. I snuck in looks at her every now and then as well, giving her a little wink every time I did. 

LILY POV

As I sat there in Lou's hospital room a wave of hope rushed through me. Maybe he would remember, maybe there was some sort of invisible string of fate pulling us together. But that was ridiculous, but I could swear that there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes, he would remember. I'm sure of it. 

"I'm hungry," Niall whined, "Can we go get some food?"

"There's a place down the road, maybe we could go there?" Cherie suggested, "It's got really nice bagels there."

"Sounds great!" Niall then got up from her seat and waved Lou good bye before leaving the room. 

Everyone said there goodbyes and made a swift departure. I stayed behind holding my hands behind my back,

"When do you think you're going to get out?" I asked 

"Well the doc's said I'm a very strange case. I should be out of here by tomorrow . But I'll be in a wheelchair." 

"That's better than nothing," I said standing up and walking towards the door,

"It is better than me being dead," he chuckled to himself, I could tell that he was joking but I froze in my spot adjusting to the thought. The room became very tense and I decided to just laugh.

"Well I better," I put extra emphasis on the word better, "be going."

"I don't think that would be for the better," he responded, I turned around to face him, he had a smug little smile on his face. That was just so him. 

"Well I'm hungry," I gave him a cheeky smile,

"Aw chainbreaker!" he moaned giving me a little pouty face.

"Well I'm going now, bye." I opened the door and started walking out, but as I closed the door I heard him call out something that I wasn't expecting.

"Love you Lily Bud,"

Lily Bud? Did he just call me Lily Bud? I froze slowly turning around. 

"The girls told me thats what we all call you,"

"Not... all." I managed to choke out, "Just, you. Do you... really love me?"

"Well I'm sure that I used too," he responded,

"Well I love you too, bye Boo." I closed the door walking out. 

Once the door was shut I slid down to the floor and lightly slapped myself a couple of times in the face. I then started to laugh, it seemed pretty strange because I was just sitting there laughing. I looked up to find six curious faces staring down at me.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled, Niall offered his hand to me, I took it standing up, still laughing, "Lets just go get some food." 

LOUIS POV

I heard laughter outside of the door, it was really loud laughter. I could only suspect that it was Lily laughing. Maybe I shouldn't have said that I loved her. I looked out the door and saw a shadow slowly move away. I lay in my bed, feeling significantly better. My body didn't ache as much and neither did my heart. 

I couldn't figure out why she seemed more happier today. I remembered everything about her. The way her hair bounced up and down when she moved. The sparkle in her eye when she smiled. The dimples in her cheeks when she laughed really hard. The cheekiness in her voice when she was right. And I got all of that from two meetings, I could only imagine what I knew from years of memories. 

LILY POV

I didn't talk throughout lunch. I spent the entire time smiling into my hot chocolate. They all must have thought I was completely crazy but I didn't care. I was too caught up in my own thoughts. I was thinking about Lou, would he remember? Would he ever remember? I had no idea. But a piece of me told me to have hope. The boys went up to the counter, ordering for us girls. They were such gentlemen, but compared to my Lou. Well, they didn't compare. 

"So tell me Marley, how's Harry?" I asked,

"I have no idea what you might be implying," she responded taking a napkin and placing it on her lap,

"Oh please. I saw you guys cuddling in the car the other day."

Her breath hitched, I caught onto something.

"Well..." 

I rolled my eyes, I knew she was about to break. Marls wasn't very good at keeping secrets from me. So instead I worked on Cherie.

"And what about you and Liam?" I raised my eyebrow, she laughed at this before explaining the 'extravagant' relationship they had shared over the past few days. Every single detail. Marley eventually burst too, telling me all about how cute Harry was and how he wasn't like every 'regular' superstar. I eventually got bored so joined the boys at the counter. When I got there they all stopped talking and turned around to face me, they flashed radiant smiles my way, I knew something was up.

"Have I interrupted something?" I asked, the boys shook their head vigorously picking up the plates of bagels and sausage rolls. 

"Can we go back to the hospital afterwards?" I asked sitting down at the table and serving out the food. Everyone dug into their food quickly. However, they refused to properly respond to me. When they were all done with their food I repeated my question.

"Can we see Lou again?" 

"Well love, I think that we are good for today. We were all going to go down to the park to play some football. We were hoping you would come with,"

I shook my head, I didn't want to go to the park. That was somewhat of a sacred spot. 

"I think I'm just going to see Lou," I mumbled walking up to the counter. I ordered a small tray of chocolate covered strawberries and grabbed my bag. "I'll see you guys later."

I bit into one of the chocolate covered strawberries, making my way to the hospital. I decided that I could walk there myself. The mention of the park brought back memories, even though I recited them to Lou before, they seemed more distant now. More chilling. I just needed to get to Lou. I put the lid onto my tray of strawberries running to the hospital. 

When I arrived there, I was hounded by paparazzi. They were asking me questions that I really didn't want to answer so I walked inside avoiding eye contact. I knew exactly where I had to go but when I came to the door I was denied access. I heard a whirring inside and instantly felt worried. I tried peering through the door but the vision was foggy from this side of the door. I tapped at the glass. but noone responded. 

I sat in one of the many seats by the door tapping my foot nervously. It felt like I waited an eternity until the door finally opened and out came Lou in a wheelchair.

"Hey Lily Bud!" he exclaimed smiling up at me, "I didn't know you were coming back,"

"Of course I would," I responded walking over to him, "So... you were let out early,"

"Yeah I was," he continued smiling, I couldn't tell what he was thinking so I smiled back before walking over to the Doctor.

He gave me a giant rundown on how to properly look after Lou. How to fold up his wheelchair. Everything. They said that they would lend us a van of sorts to drive Lou around in. I pushed Lou outside, only to be greeted by a big, orange van. It looked like the one they used in their "What Makes You Beautiful" video. Louis grinned as I wheeled him round to the back, my arms were starting to get sore.

"Boy are you getting heavy Lou!" I moaned closing the back of the van and hopping into the drivers seat. I looked outside, the paparazzi seemed to be gone but there were probably some hiding in the bushes.

I drove home quickly and wheeled him into the house. I left him in front of the TV handing him the remote. When I handed him the remote our hands brushed together. Very lightly and just for a second. But I could swear that there was sparks. Maybe the phrase 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' had some relevance. He looked up to me with his crystal blue eyes, completely enchanting me. I walked to the kitchen pulling out some carrots and chocolate biscuits. A weird combination to the normal eye, but to Lou and I, it was a feast. 

I walked into the living room offering him a carrot. He tried to take it but I could see that he was in obvious pain trying to pick it up. I rolled my eyes holding it to his mouth. He gave me a look that meant to say What are you doing?

"Just eat it," I moaned, he took a large bite out of it, making extra effort to chew loudly. 

I took out a chocolate chip cookie and bit into it, feeding Lou every now and then.

"You seem to take a liking to those," he said gesturing towards the cookies. I pushed his hand down lightly, nodding my answer. 

"Be right back," I said through a mouthful of cookie. I went upstairs and retrieved my laptop. I brought it downstairs and went onto youtube. I then searched "One Direction Video Diary Week 1." 

Lou and I had a mini viewing party, we snacked on our food while watching as many One Direction videos as we possibly could. We laughed at his jokes and iconic moments. Like, "She's Mine!" "I like girls who eat carrots" "Supermaaaannnnn!" When everyone got back we started watching home movies from when Lou, Cherie, Marley and I were younger. When it got late I wheeled Lou to his mums room. It was a giant double bed and it was downstairs. 

I called the one direction boys to get him dressed and into bed. I took the opportunity to get myself ready. I brushed my hair, washed off my makeup and got dressed into my PJs.

As I stared into the mirror I started thinking about Lou. What if he never remembered. What if he fell in love with someone else. What would I do? Would I just continue faking my happiness everyday?

The boys called me to say goodnight but before that, I had to make a painful call to my mum.

LOUIS POV

The boys were really funny. I really did enjoy their company and their quirks. When they left me to sleep I was disappointed but Lily came into the room looking stunningly natural.

"You look better this way," I said as she walked over to my bed and pulled up a chair,

"What do you mean?" she asked taking my hand in hers, her hands were warm and soft, a very big change compared to mine.

"No makeup, Messed up hair, no dressy clothes. You're just you."

My words caused her to look down to the floor again.

"Hey, what did I say about looking down at the floor?" I cooed, she instantly looked up. However, there were tears in her eyes.

"You know it hurts Lou." she whispered,

"What hurts? Why are you hurting?" my voice was full of concern, I found it almost abnormal how much I was worried.

"Just knowing that I am so close to you, but so far away. Because I meant what I said in the hospital. Every bone, every fibre in my body wants to be with you, I love you. And I waited so long, so long to tell you and now I'm left here feeling stupid..." she was full on crying now. Tears ran down her cheeks and I could hear her sniffling. 

"Don't say that, you're not stupid,'' I was going to say more, but she cut me off very effectively.

"No I am stupid. Because I miss you."

"I'm right here," I began, but once again she interrupted me.

"In a sense. But you, Louis William Tomlinson, are not really here. It scares me knowing that you might be gone forever. It scares me Lou." 

Her grip on my hand was more tight now and her voice was more shaken. 

"And it was hell. Hell for me in that hospital waiting for you to wake up, knowing that you might not. Knowing that I might have been with you for the last time. And 7 days ago I was so sure that I would not fall for you, let alone love you. But here I am, sitting here, holding you're hand, risking losing you forever." 

I was speechless, I didn't know how to respond. I struggled for words but Lily remained there, staring at me. Waiting for some form of an answer but I couldn't, I couldn't respond to her. 

"And I know this seems selfish and I know this hurts, it hurts me anyways. But I'm protecting both of us. I'm going to leave Doncaster."

"Leave?" I almost screamed, "No please Lily don't leave."

"Please don't make this harder than it already is," she whimpered through her sobs, "If you never remember I don't think I will be able to sit here every day and pretend like I'm happy."

"At least I'm here! Alive!" I exclaimed trying to come up with a good reason, 

"And I'm so glad but Lou. Its never going to be the same and to protect both of us from getting heartbroken I have to leave. I haven't told the others yet but I'll get round to it but for now please just let me go."

"Lily I might not remember you fully but I know, in my heart that I can't let you leave."

"Please Louis..." she begged, "I need to go." 

I looked into her eyes, they were filled with tears but they weren't only filled with tears. I saw sadness, pain, heartache, all reflected in her eyes. I opened my mouth to protest but I knew that I was hurting her. She took my hand and held it up to her face. I stroked her cheek with my thumb, wiping away any excess tears. She moved her head to the side, just slightly, she kissed the palm of my hand sending a strange wave of sparks down my arm. She placed my hand down onto the bed standing up. She starting walking out the door but I called out her name, she froze in her tracks turning around. I took this opportunity to memorize everything about her. 

"What if I remember?" I called out,

She took a moment to think before saying,

"I'll come back for you."

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