Back For You

They say friendship lasts forever. Louis Tomlinson and Lillian Brie thought that this statement was completely true. But when one "yes" from Simon Cowell changes their fate together they need to find their way back together. After years of solitude, Louis comes back to Doncaster for a visit. Just as he promised. Because when two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back.

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13. Day 12 - Do This Together

LILY POV

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blasting in my face. I looked at the time, 2:30. I moaned turning around and burying my face in my pillow. I had to meet Niall in half an hour, a event which I was not excited about. 

I walked over to my closet, I wasn't going to dress up. Not for Niall, not 3:00 in the morning. I slipped on my superman hoodie over my PJs and put on a beanie for good measure. (http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=69145089)  I walked into the bathroom not even bothering to wash my face or apply any makeup. I grabbed my phone and ran down the stairs, eager to be finished with this encounter. 

I slipped on my uggs before opening the door and exposing myself to the sheer coldness of Doncaster in the winter time. I pondered taking the car but since Mum hid the keys somewhere in the house, that option wasn't available to me. I walked to the park, wrapping myself in a hug. I made it to the park in good time, I found Niall waiting under a tree with a guitar in his arms.

"You are not singing to me Irish," I said pointing a finger at him as he raised his arm to strum a chord, 

"Aren't I?" he asked in his cute Irish accent, no. It wasn't cute at all, it was normal.

"No you're not," I reinforced walking over to him, "Now Irish, what was the cause of you asking me to come out here so early in the morning?" 

"I wanted to apologize properly this time," he began,

I cut him off by crossing my arms and saying,"Well it's about time, you just about ruined my relationship with Louis..."

"But," he continued "I wanted you to know the full story before you went and lived your fairytale life with Louis."

I gulped crossing my arms even tighter, just in case he tried anything.I gave him a small nod prompting him to continue.

"I really like you Lily, as much as, maybe even more than Lou. Everything you do is special to me, magical.When you smile at me, my heart flutters but when I see you kiss Lou, it pretty much breaks into a million pieces. And I don't think these feelings will ever go away and I need to know whether you feel anything for me, even the slightest bit."

I bit down on my bottom lip. I already knew the answer to his question, I was just reluctant to answer it. I opened my mouth a couple times, quickly closing it, before I gave him his answer.

"Niall, you are a wonderful person. And the things that I said in the alleyway were true. I'm sure you will find your princess and I'm sorry but I'm not your princess. I love Lou. And its so sweet of you to be saying these things but I don't feel the same way and I'm trying to say this in the nicest way as I possibly can but I really need you to back off. And if you feel the way you do so strongly I would just really love for you to be happy, with me being happy."

Tears started brimming at Niall's eyes, I couldn't think of anything else but to give him a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck pulling myself closer to him.I nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck trying to offer some sort of comfort. His arms eventually snaked around my waist, hugging me back. But they quickly sprung off when someone cleared their throat.

"How dare you!" I recognized the voice as Louis's. His cussing shocked me, I turned around to face him. His fists were clenched and his eyes were dark, I was in deep trouble. "The day after I decided to forgive you, the day after. You go and fucking mess things up, effectively digging yourself a shit hole,"

"Lou you don't understand! Nothing happened," I cried trying to calm him down, I understood his anger and realized how he could have misinterpreted the situation. I didn't blame him for cussing. I tried to be as sympathetic as I could, ever since Lou's parents split up he had a habit of losing his temper. But he never lost his temper at me, this was a first."Why are you even in the park this early?"

"Because this was our place! OUR PLACE! But not anymore, you really fucked that up didn't you?" Lou continued to shout at me. 

"Lou I-" I attempted to explain the situation once more

"You have a beautiful girl wrapped around your finger. How dare you talk to her like that!" Niall shouted stepping in front of me "Wake up and realize that. She is YOURS. Treat her right before she isn't yours anymore because you know what? When you break her heart I'll be right there to pick up the pieces." 

"You don't stand up for her!" Lou shouted towering over Niall, "I do that! I'm her boyfriend."

"I wouldn't be so sure mate," 

Thats when I saw it, Lou's left eye twitched a little. And in that moment I knew what was coming. Lou's fist slowly raised to his chest, confirming my suspicion. I quickly stepped in front of Niall planning to absorb the blow myself.I closed my eyes waiting for impact. After a few moments I opened my eyes to find Lou on his knees. 

"I'm so sorry," he whimpered, "I'm so, so sorry..." 

His strong arms wrapped around my legs, effectively trapping me in his grip.

"Please don't leave me," his voice was very soft, I felt Niall tense up behind me obviously very uncomfortable with the situation. 

"Lou," I mumbled moving my legs under his grip, I awkwardly moved around before he loosened his grip. I shrunk down to his level cupping his face in my hands. "We need to end this, if you can't trust me. We shouldn't be in a relationship. I understand you're uneasy from... recent events so I think that if we're going to make this work we need to take a break. Will you do this? Will you do this with me?" 

I wiped away his tears with my thumb, he smiled at my kind gesture opening his mouth to respond. But his jaw clenched shut as he looked behind me. I turned around to find Niall awkwardly shuffling around.

"Irish, you need to leave now." I said with a tight jaw not fully understanding why I was angry,

"Why the nickname?" he asked looking up at me, "You only use that when you're mad at me."

"You shouldn't have provoked Lou," I spat, Ah. So that's why I was so angry. 

"Fine," he spat back kicking a bit of loose grass as he walked away. 

I turned back to Lou, his face was more gentle and relaxed the further Niall went away. 

"I will do this with you," he responded breathily, "But I don't want to, because I love you Lil. In every shape, every form. I loved you when you were 8 years old and had your hair in plaits. I loved you when you were going through your 2 month emo phase when you were 13 and your Dad visited town. I loved you at our senior prom when you wore that pretty peach dress. I love you now, with no makeup on, still in your PJs." 

"I love you too Lou," I managed to choke out between tears, "I love you more and more every day if thats even possible to love someone that much. And even though you don't see it, I'm breaking this off for you. For us." I took his hand in mine, giving it a little kiss before continuing. "This isn't over forever, I promise you. But for now, we need to take time apart. Time heals wounds right?" 

He kissed away one of my tears before standing up and offering me his hand. I took it giving him a little smile. 

"Can I drive you home?" he offered, I shook my head unable to speak. "Why not?"

"I want to stay here for awhile..." I mumbled. I took my hands out of my pocket, the cold instantly effected it causing me to shove my hands back in my pockets quickly.

"You're cold," he said taking off his jacket and slipping it over my shoulders, the simple gesture was very affectionate causing my cheeks to flush with red. 

"Thanks," I whispered lying down on the grass, he lay down next to me rubbing his hands together attempting to keep warm. I moved closer to him and leaned against his shoulder, to my relief he wrapped his arm around me. His arm gave me a sense of protection, I felt safe in his arms. Like noone in the world could touch me. It was just me and him, in our own little world. A moment of peace, a moment of affection. A moment that I intended to savour, so when he attempted to speak I placed my hand on his chest, quieting him with a silent.

"Sh, don't speak."

***

We lay there until we saw the sun (see what I did there...?). I looked up to find Lou fast asleep. I admired the beauty of his face as he slept. I slowly nudged him awake, his eyelid fluttered open as he registered where he was. His grip around me loosened as he stood up rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He towered over me, him in his standing position and me in a little ball on the grass. 

He outstretched his hand to me, I stared at it. I was unsure whether to take it or not knowing that once I did it would be the end. I looked at the hand then back to him, then back to his hand. I reached up very slowly but then quickly swiped my hand back, reluctant to end it all. 

"I'll miss you," I squeaked out, "I'll miss everything about you. I'll miss your smile, I'll miss your kisses, I'll miss your hugs, I'll miss your words, I'll miss everything Lou."

He remained silent keeping his hand outstretched. 

"Let's do this together," he whispered, I looked up at him, there was a certain longing in his eyes. He wanted this as much as I did. I took his hand and he yanked me up, I used the momentum to launch myself into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist pressing my face up against his chest. I held him very tightly trying to remember everything about him. 

He eventually wrapped his arm around me resting his chin on my forehead. A single tear drop fell from my face splashing onto the earth. I stepped away wiping my tears away with the sleeve of Lou's denim jacket. I took it off, offering it to him. But he declined it telling me to keep it. His eyes suddenly locked on something, the lily pendant around my neck. I hadn't taken it off since he gave it to me, he started fiddling with it in his fingers before leading me back to the car.

The car ride seemed long and torturous. Even though it only took five minutes to drive back to my home it felt like an eternity. I stared at Lou's face the entire time, still attempting to remember every bit about him. I felt as if I should reach out and touch him, instead I turned away looking at the window. When it started to rain I started counting the raindrops that fell on my window, a task that calmed my mind. 

When we arrived at my house quickly got out of the car refusing to look at Louis, knowing that if I did I wouldn't have the strength to walk away. This was goodbye, this was farewell. I ran up to my front porch, escaping the rain. I chose to ignore the fact that the lights were on inside, other things were plaguing my mind. I stole one more glance at Lou, whom had winded the window down. He was staring at me with such sadness in his eyes. The blue orbs, that were his eyes, didn't shine like they usually did. They were dull, filled with longing and sadness. 

I gave him a little wave watching him drive off down the street. He was only a couple houses down but  I felt as if he was miles and miles away from me. I opened the door slamming it shut and leaning against it with my eyes closed.

"Don't cry, Don't cry," I repeated to myself, but that was when I heard a calm voice whisper my name.

"Lily?" I opened my eyes to find my mum stood there with a dish cloth in her hand. This was the first time in my life, where she had been genuinely concerned. Usually she was too fixated on her work to pay attention to me, whenever I had issues I just went to talk to Lou. "What's wrong love?"

That was when I lost it. My knees buckled and I fell to the ground with my face in my hands. It finally registered in my mind that it was over. Even though it was a healthy break up I couldn't help but feel so empty. I heard a clatter of dishes and heavy footsteps before I felt my mothers arms wrapped around me. 

"I screwed everything up mummy," I wailed, I attempted to speak again but dying whale noises came out. "I'm such an idiot..." 

Tears ran down my face soaking into my clothes, I felt as if all the life had been drained out of me. I was cold, wet and depressed. In the end all that I could squeak out was the words that hadn't left my lips.

"I love you Lou..."

***

My mum eventually calmed me down enough to explain the situation to her. 

"You did the right thing baby, I don't think you guys in a relationship is the best idea," she said holding me in her arms,

"I do," I whimpered, "I do, I do, I do and it's all my fault..."

"Well Louis should have trusted you," 

"But he had a right not to," I whispered crying softly into her chest, "I shouldn't have gone out mum, I shouldn't have gone to meet Niall. If I didn't I wouldn't be here..."

"Superstars these days, they lead such complicated lives..." my mother mumbled, "You're better off without him."

"No I'm not!" I screeched getting up from the couch, "I'm a better person with him, I'm a happier person with him. A-and I love him!"

I then stormed out of the living room to the stairs. 

"Where are you going?" she shouted after me,

"To my room! Leave me alone to die!" 

***

I hung off of my bed looking at my watch, counting the seconds. 54,001, 54,002. I counted, I then heard voices downstairs. I recognized my mothers voice, she was shouting at whoever came in. I then heard a male voice. One name came to my head, Louis. Without bothering to confirm my suspicions I scrambled out of my bed picking up Lou's jacket, which I had thrown to the ground earlier, I ran downstairs attempting to fix myself up as much as I could. 

But when I reached the bottom of the stairs and looked up I saw someone whom I wasn't expecting. 

"Derek?"

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