Back For You

They say friendship lasts forever. Louis Tomlinson and Lillian Brie thought that this statement was completely true. But when one "yes" from Simon Cowell changes their fate together they need to find their way back together. After years of solitude, Louis comes back to Doncaster for a visit. Just as he promised. Because when two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back.

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42. Chapter 42 - First

It had been months, a month and three days if you wanted to be particularly specific. It had been a month and three days since Siobhan's passing and it still killed me, the memory of her lifeless body sprawled across the floor had haunted my dreams and every single night, Daniel was there to hold me as I sobbed in his strong arms, the thoughts of Louis simply pushed to the back of my mind as it dwelled on what I deemed as more important things and though an invitation had been extended to him to attend the wedding, I didn't expect him to show taking into consideration the fact that we'd not proper seen each other since the funeral and then it had only been a sad smiles on our faces, words of truth simply ghosting over our lips as we bid our good byes. I'd not seen him since, not thought about him since, thoughts of my wedding clouding my thought and as I stood in one of the many rooms in The Plaza Hotel, listening to shouts outsides, helicopters no doubt full of paparazzi whirring over head and all I could feel was sick. And though my bridesmaids, comprising of Marley, Cherie, Lilac and Haley, had continued to fuss over me I shoved them out of my room, as they tripped over each other in a bundle of giggles. And as I dusted off my dress, checked my make up, there was a knock on the door. 

"Flower delivery?"

"I didn't-" I began as I secured a final pin in my hair, but when I turned around I was pleased to find the face of Louis. With tears pricking my eyes I ran towards him enveloping him in a giant hug, "You came!"

"Yeah," he mumbled into my neck, "I came,"

I leaned back allowing myself to glance freely at him, my eyes wondering his body. He had his hair styled in his 2011 style, poking in all directions. He wore tight fitting grey pants, a black collared shirt with a white collar and a tight grey blazer. I smiled at him as I grabbed his shoulders, 

"Those are… Those are the ugliest bunch of flowers I have ever seen!" I exclaimed, laughing at his distaste,

"Hey," he said pouting, "I went to a florist and they helped me,"

"Well I'm sorry," I chuckled, "You were cheated. The colours don't even match and there are odd numbers of each one."

"Get your bouquet," he said, I rolled my eyes walking over to the table picking it up and handing it to him, "Huh red and white…" 

"Yeah and…?"

"Well it means unity right?"

"How do you know that?"

"Well I knew you were a flower nut so I took it upon myself in order to buy you some nice flowers, I would learn a bit."

"Oh?" I said cocking my head at him, he flashed me a smile,

"Yeah and look, I can make this bouquet so much better."

"Be my guest," I chuckled,

"Well if I add some pink flowers your bouquet will say that I will forever love you and hold you dear in my heart," he said looking me straight in the eyes, my breath hitched as I realised the purpose of his actions, I diverted my gaze to the bouquet as he placed some orange and yellow flowers in the mix, "Orange and Yellow flowers together stand of passionate thoughts, passionate thoughts about someone to be precise. Orange flowers also stand for desire, you often give orange flowers to those you desire and want." 

"Oh…" I muttered continuing to avert his gaze as I felt it burn holes through me,

"And if you add this shade of red, right here, it shows unconscious love, meaning that I love you without even knowing it. And red rosebuds," he said with a lick of his bottom lip, "Symbolises youthful love and beauty. You should have round 50 roses in there now. Do you know what fifty roses mean Lils?"

I shook my head as he used his index finger to move my chin up to face him, I bit my lip to hold back tears that so desperately wanted to fall.

"Fifty roses shows unconditional love, meaning that I will love you forever and always," 

"Stop it," I managed to get out as I tried to contain my tears,

"Don't you think this bouquet represents the love you possess better?" 

"Stop it," I repeated,

"Stop what?"

"Stop it"

"Stop it? What's it?"

"Stop it."

"Look Lil's I know that I promised I would be strong and that I would move on but honestly, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I'm not over you in the slightest."

I remained silent, biting my lower lip.

"And though this seems so selfish I am asking you to choose even though I know that you are so very confused. I know that you're about to go out there and have that fairy tail wedding that you've been planning since you were 5 but… I'm just asking you to tell me that this bouquet shows your love for the man out there and not me,"

"Lou I-"

"Just please tell me because what ever happens I'll never blame you for not choosing me,"

"What if I'm done making choices?" I choked out, "And I'm sure someone down the road will ask me if I know you because that's what happens in my career but… I'm just going to stand there, pause for a moment and say that I used to because I don't need you anymore and I'm ending this fan fiction-"

"Fanfiction?"

"Right now because-"

"What the hell are you doing in your spare time?"

"Let me finish! I have more things to say like that I will always-"

"It's fine," he cut in taking a step back, turning his back to me, then turning back to me but not before biting down on his lip hard and letting out a grunt as he bent down and then straight back up, "It's fine… just remember hat I never stopped loving you, not when I left for X factor, not when I started dating El and her, not when I didn't come back, not for one second. And for that first year without you, knowing that I couldn't see your eyes made me not want to open mine, knowing that I wouldn't be able to feel your kiss, made me not want to feel anything at all. Cause every time I'm around you, no matter what the circumstances I always get weak at the knees, fall head over heels, you name it. Swept off my feet, my heart skips a couple beats. Every, fucking cheesy cliche there is out there and I'm am left here speechless, unable to find the words to explain just how much you are making me lose my mind. Whenever we speak I sometimes stutter my words, ending it with silence because I'm finding it hard to phrase how much I love you"

"Louis…"

"And I can't offer you the stability he can… The sureness." he said now grabbing me by the shoulders, "And I can't promise to fix all of your problems but I can promise to you that you won't have to face them all alone and if what they say is true about using your whole life rewriting the first poem you ever loved well… then it must be true that you spend your whole life trying to relive the first love you ever felt and Lily. Lily your first love was me. "

"You're right, You are my first love and I spent a long time hoping, knowing that you would be my last but we've gone through so much shit Lou. So much fucking shit and I'm… I'm getting married and I think that it's about time that you find someone that loves you,"

"I already have. And she's standing right in front of me."

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