Back For You

They say friendship lasts forever. Louis Tomlinson and Lillian Brie thought that this statement was completely true. But when one "yes" from Simon Cowell changes their fate together they need to find their way back together. After years of solitude, Louis comes back to Doncaster for a visit. Just as he promised. Because when two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back.


39. Chapter 39 - Anymore


I woke up with a large headache and the sun peeking through the windows. 

"Ugh," I groaned trying to make sense of what had happened, the last thing I remembered was taking one last shot, the rest of my night was completely blurry,

I turned on my side, rolling over, my face landing on a piece of paper. I rubbed my eyes as they adjusted to the light and read through the letter

Hey Lou, 

I guess this is pretty stupid adressing this through a note and pretty child-ish. I also guess that it's pretty pathetic getting married at 22 isn't it? But I guess that's pretty much me isn't it in a couple words? Pathetic and Childish? You probably don't remember what you did last night but you kissed me and my issue with that is that it doesn't feel as wrong as it probably should and I'm sorry to drop this bombshell on you especially when you have such a big hangover but I would really like it if you didn't come to my wedding. I'm pushing it up a week meaning that its next week and... I guess I'm just scaring myself with how incredibly addicted I am to you. I sat here by myself for awhile and I just thought of how much you must love me to fight that much but then I realized that nothing should really stop true love not death, distance, judgement, deceit and all of those things have stopped our love which left me wondering if its really worth it.

I followed suit to slap myself across the face because I realized that once upon a time that holding you close and kissing you would be the best part of my day. Once upon a time the best times of my life were with you and then I realized that I started both sentences with once upon a time.

And then I thought you deserve better than me, better than us because you need someone who needs as much as you need her. Not someone like me, not someone who is so fucked up, not someone who has someone else.

But I guess, that love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly which is how you saw me. Messed up little me perfectly. And I'm on my way to believing that you really felt like that and it wasn't some cruel messed up dream because whenever I look at you I see this perfect person and then there's me, this weird crazy person who ate glue in first grade. 

And I know you keep telling me that the first love is important because you never quite get over them and you know what? It's sort of true, you never forget your first love and you'll always and forever be in my heart. But second loves are important as well, Daniel is important as well because, because he taught me that love still exists after you made me think that it could never again and if you want your explanation for why I'm not leaving him for you, thats why. 

And Lou, our time and love feels like a storm, a wild wind and rain that is too big to handle, too powerful to escape. But... Daniel is like a peaceful ocean ride, much less exciting and wild but calmer. A few bumps along the way, but calmer and I think thats better for me right now. 

And I'm pretty sure I've said this somewhere else before but there are things we don't want to happen like the wedding but we have to accept and there are things we don't want to know but have to learn. But most importantly, there are people we can't live without but have to let go and I'm trying to let you go and I really want you to let me go so please don't come to the wedding, please don't call me and please... know that I don't love you anymore.


P.S -------------

The P.S was scrubbed out so much that I couldn't read it. I sighed, rubbing my head once more, my head and heart now aching. 

"Well," I breathed, "I guess it's time to pack. I'm not wanted here anymore."


A/N Sorry guys! This was a mega filler chapter but I'm planning to wrap this up soon since I'm running out of dramatic ideas and that. I hope the next few chapters are good and dramatic because I aim to give good writing even though the chapters have been pretty pathetic recently. But I've got a whole lot planned for my other movella "That One Girl" which all you guys should love since its another Louis Fanfic and the main character is fantastic I love her and... yeah :) So after this I think there will be two more chapter, final chapter then an epilogue, then a final authors note than finished! xox

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