Back For You

They say friendship lasts forever. Louis Tomlinson and Lillian Brie thought that this statement was completely true. But when one "yes" from Simon Cowell changes their fate together they need to find their way back together. After years of solitude, Louis comes back to Doncaster for a visit. Just as he promised. Because when two people are meant to be, they will always find their way back.

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26. Chapter 26 - Now

LILY POV

I didn't know what it was but I felt as if I was about to internally combust. His reasons for not coming shouldn't justify his actions, I felt so conflicted and confused. Everything started spinning again as I continued to storm away from him. I heard people shout out my name but I couldn't do anything to respond to them, they were all faint echoes to me now. 

I ran to the elevator quickly pressing the button feeling sweat droplets start to form on my forehead. I told myself to calm down but my central focus point was the ring on my finger. Was it changing? It couldn't be could it? The giant diamond on my finger was slowly morphing into a a golden ring with small diamonds dotted round it.

This ring was so familiar, so present, so there. Where had I seen it? What was it? That was my ring... That was my promise ring... No. Focus. Everything felt as if it was crumbling apart, I was physically shaking as I walked down the streets of New York towards my apartment. 

Did he expect that he would just come back? Did he just expect me to open him with open arms? For things to return to how they were before? Because all of those happy times we had together, all of those precious times, are far outweighed by the amount of times I cried over them. I plastered a smile on my face, just to stop the tears falling down my face. I wouldn't shed any more tears, not over him. And how dare he suggest this was just a game? Was I just a game to him? A chess piece? Was that all I ever was? 

I thought that with time we were supposed to forget about people, but how wrong was I? Its been years and he still plays on my mind. As I reached my apartment building I received a phone call, I instantly declined it knowing that I wasn't in the mental state to talk to anybody. But when it rang again, this time when I was in the elevator I answered it.

"Please listen to me-"

"Something I don't understand is why now Tommo? Why now? Out of all times why would you choose now?" The smile dissappeared from my face as I bit down on my lip in an attempt to calm myself down.

"Because I felt almost as if I had to,"

"Shouldn't you want to? Not feel as if you have an obligation but actually want to? Because I'm really sorry but I just don't understand right now,"

"You don't understand..." he muttered,

"Damn right I don't understand!" I whimpered, "I was so happy, I have a successful job, a beautiful fiance and all I can think about is you. And I don't understand why now?"

"Because I'm still in love with you, I know it all seems so far fetched but I honestly didn't realise how much you meant to me until I lost you. But now I know that some part of me, will always care for you, even if we're not together and even if we're far, far away from each other, I'll still love you. And that sucks. But right now, in this moment, I'm not stuffing it up,"

"I-I-I can't hear this... not right now. Just... please. I mean.... after you hurt me I was so scared to get attatched again but Daniel... he's been so great. I was so scared that every person was going to break my heart but the truth of the matter was that you were the only one. Not Niall, Not Derek, Not Daniel. Just you. And I.. I just can't."

"Lily, Ann, Lillian, Lily-Bud please-"

"Look I'm sorry I just can't"

"Lily!" 

Hyperventilating, I hung up my phone and ran into my apartment slamming the door behind myself. Tears now freely streamed down my face as I began to pant against the door. I was so weak and feeble. The lights were off, the only light brightening the room being the slight bit that pierced through the blinds, thin streaks of brightness that didn't illuminate my face. 

I curled up into a ball and couldn't help but start to shake. My breaths became more staggered as I bit down on my lip hard attempting to calm down. All I saw was his face. All I could hear was his voice. All I could smell was the faint scent of his cologne that I remembered so clearly. 

I felt so terrible, thinking of another man when I was engaged to another. Daniel. He hadn't crossed my mind until now. He was so perfect, so lovely. I buried my face in my knees trying to flush out my unfaithful thoughts. I mentally slapped myself in the face, unable to physically bring myself to do it. I turned my head to the side finding a scrunched up piece of paper underneath one of the cabinets. Instinctively, I reached out to grab it, falling on the floor whilst doing so. I army crawled over to it, grabbing it out with a shaky hand, on it read something that I wrote long ago, long when I first found out the news. Long ago, when I still played the guitar. It spoke so truly to me back then and the sad thing was that it still spoke of truth now. 

"Forget him," I whimpered out, "Forget his name. Forget his face. Forget his kiss and his warm embr-br-brace. Forget the love that you once knew. Remember he has someone new."

Someone new. Siobhan. That was her name. I felt terrible, but I loathed her so deeply. All these years, I blamed my loss on her, blamed him not coming on her. But now, all I felt for her was sympathy. He was leading her on, and for what purpose? To make me jealous? I erased the thought from my mind, his words, they were all lies. Lies. Lies. 

"Forget him when they played your song," Our song. I remembered that night when he sung me They Don't Know About Us. The way his eyes sparkled in the dim light. I shook the memory out of my head as I continued, "Remember when you cried all night long. Forget how close you once were. Remember he has chosen her. Forget how you memorized his walk, forget the way he used to talk. Forget the things he used to say. Because always remember, he has gone away. Forget his laugh and his grin, and the sculpture of his chin. Forget the way he held you tight, because he's with her tonight." 

I practically forced myself to keep reading as my hands became more shaky, my voice became more unstable and my head continued to spin. 

"Forget the time that went too fast, the love that moved since its past. Forget he said he'd leave you never because he's gone. He's gone for forever." 

"Anna Banana! I'm home! I brought Chinese," 

And with that single phrase, that single phrase, reduced me to tears. 

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