Save me tonight

A young girl by the name of Sarah is depressed. Her life is complicated and after the people who depended on her for a lot were let down and left she became suicidal. She felt like she was alone, and well she kind of was. Relationships never worked and her family would never noticed the scarred body she tried to hide. There has been many attempts to take her own life but none succeeded. She always felt like she had no future and no purpose. She felt like god wanted wanted her alive just to see her suffer. So she had one last idea. It was the only idea that would work. While in the middle of her last attempt she gets flashbacks of happy moments and love, all these people still around. But things don't go right. In the last seconds she sees and angel. Or what she thinks is angel. Will she survive? Will she know her angel?

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19. What If

Sarah's POV:

 

He was just so warm and I couldn't help it. I fell asleep in his arms and decided not to stop myself. I couldn't stay mad at him forever but i would as long as possible. He didn't trust me not to cheat. And he even went and tried to hurt my best friend. I have no idea what was said between them but Jonathon just said he wasn't happy with my choice.

I had a dream while i was asleep. it was my life without me in it.

[dream sequence]

t was the same events but Niall never came to my side to save me from my suicide and i had drowned that night. For a few weeks everyone mourned my death but people soon forgot about me.

I was watching from the clouds. Nobody could see me but i could see them. It was sad. I visited everyone i knew. And they all got along so happily. Jonathon and Kaitlyn ended up getting together. And that hurt me. My parents ended up having another child and gave away my room. And then i went to visit Niall. That hurt me worst of all.

He was sad. I have no idea why but he was lonely. He dated girls but none seemed to please him. He would cry some nights. He wondered if there was a girl out there for him. It was years of depression. Soon one direction had broken up for a bit to live their lives with new family and Niall was still alone.

Nobody knew how upset he was but me. And i was dead so i couldn't help him. I wished i could.

It was late one night and Niall was sitting in bed. Eyes were red. Him being so known he knew people with tranquilizers. He grabbed a handful and went to his bathroom in his little apartment. It was a little two room apartment with brown walls. It was not what he would like but he hated color now. Nobody had seen him in years and he lost touch with mostly all his family and the boys. Lou was the only person who knew where he lived now.

Today was christmas eve and he had nobody to spend it with. I tried to reach out to him. He sat on the toilet crying. I went down and stood in front of him. He didn't notice me. Then i put my hand on his shoulder. I could notice he felt it. He looked up right at me but he didn't see anything. Its okay to let go sometimes. I said in my mind and it seemed like he heard me. I backed away and he moved right through me. After he stopped and thought a moment. He heard my thoughts. He turned to the sink and looked at his reflection. A single tear fell down his cheek and one by one he swallowed the pills. I stopped counting at 12.

I watched his spirit slowly leave his body. It was saddening. I kept watching though. Louis knew something about this year was wrong. He and all the boys went to Niall. But all they saw was his dead cold body clutching a note.

'To the girl of my dreams. I never knew you but i know you were always out there for me. Maybe ill meet you up above. Maybe there we will fall in love. Have a second life up where god lives. Share everything together and always give. You're my one and only, my forever and always. I loved you even when i didn't know you. Love Niall.' The boys began to cry. They didn't know this loneliness bothered him so.

He approached me in the darkness. He grabbed my hand.

"You're my soul mate aren't you?" He said to me.

"Yes. We were suppose to meet years ago. You were suppose to save me but you never came." I told him.

"I think i know that night. I came to the lake and saw your car. Something told me to keep going but i ignored it and left." He said with sorrow in his eyes. "Well i have you now." He said.

The dream ended by us walking off into the darkness. We walked hand in hand and slowly disappeared.

[dream ended]

From that dream i knew that he wasn't just my angel but i was his. We were meant to be together and without each other we both would not be alive.

I woke up and i was still laying in his arms but we were back at his apartment. It was calming to me while he was stroking my hair. It felt nice and felt like i was at home. Peace. This was where i was meant to be.

I looked up at his blue eyes. They always seemed to sparkle. "Im sorry. I trust you i do. I just don't trust other people. Please stay with me forever please my angel." He said. I went and kissed him. It lasted a few minutes.

No more what ifs for me. I was just going to live in the moment with my angel.

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