Red ♥

Red Hair.
Red Lips.
Red Blood.
When Zayn meets Red, he's close to death.
She's his princess in combat boots.
She saves his life, and now she has to pay the price.
Survival101 - Never fall in love with the broken.

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12. Counting The Seconds You're Gone

Harry's phone went to voicemail every time.

That was okay.

I knew I didn't matter to anyone anymore.

Maybe Kammy.

Maybe Briella.

But no one else.

And I hadn't seen either of them since our night out. It'd been a week since that night. It'd been six days since he left.

I was counting the seconds he was gone. An absent reminder that I could actually think something.

I'd changed out the lingerie, and into a pair of cotton trousers and a baggy t-shirt. I showered out of habit, ate and slept, but I did it all without enthusiasm. I was like a robot.

Counting seconds was harder than it seems, it's slow, and agonising.

I didn't always count seconds. I always waited until I was about to fall asleep, count to ten and then fall into the same nightmare, reliving the morning he abandoned me. I'd wake up screaming. Screaming his name.

People must enjoy abandoning me, it happened so often.

There was always the same knock on the door every morning: One long rap then three short ones. Kammy's secret knock. I always ignored it, scrubbing the apartment from head to toe, trying to clean away my pain. But it didn't work. Nothing did. Maybe Kammy would help. No. Nothing could piece my heart together. It was like humpty dumpty, except the only thing that could put my heart back together was a prince. My prince charming. But he was gone.

The day after he left, all I could say was: "Gone."

Constantly repeating that word until the sixth day.

Kammy knocked on my door and I answered it, tired of being alone.

Kammy wasn't wearing slobby clothes, her hair wasn't dishevelled like mine, her eyes weren't stained with the same black shadowsl lying beneath them. Although I could tell she missed Louis. More than she should.

"Red." she said tenderly, brushing back a tendril of red hair from my face.

"He's gone." I whispered, looking down at my bare feet. My toenails were painted a sparkly black. They reminded me of what life was like before. Fun, exhilerating and wild. Always on the run. Then, when I finally began to settle down, I became happy. And now. . . it was just like when my parents died.

"I know, sweetheart." Her smile was genuine, a happy smile. Why was she always so happy? I wish I could have what she did: the will to go on. Always happy.

"Kammy?" My voice sounded flat. Dead.

"Yes, honey?"

"Help me. Please." my voice cracked on the last word and I cried and cried and cried. Kammy wrapped a slender arm round my shoulder and guided me towards the three-seated couch. Not the one that he layed on. 

She set me down and cuddled me until I'd finished crying. I sniffed and turned to her, both our legs crossed on the couch, like two 13-year olds on a sleepover.

"I brought you something. I've tried to get you to answer, but you never did. Here." She handed me a brown greaseproof paper bag. I looked inside it and cracked a dry smile at the jam donught inside it.

"You look at your other presents and I'll go put the kettle on. Three sugars?"

I nodded, feeling like a kid on Christmas day. Kammy may have saved me from suicidal depression. I wish everyone was like Kammy.

I heard Kammy hum a show tune while dancing round the kitchen. The smell of toast, coffe, tea and sweet-scented candles. It was just like before. Maybe I could start over again. No, I'd just heal. I'd never be able to start over again. Not without him. My love would be perpetual if he returned.

I pulled out all my presents; a dark green over-sized jumper, a brand new pair of combat boots, a bunch of new make-up - light and natural- and a tie dyed shirt.

"Thank you, Kammy. I really mean it." I got up and hugged her, happy to be held by someone at last.

"It's fine sweetheart, you need TLP."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Tender, love and presents." she winked and handed me a mug of tea. I drank it immediately, feeling better now. I bit into my doughnut and let my body sink into the couch, relaxing for the first time in ages.

"Better?" she asked, grinning.

I nodded, smiling. I felt so much more alive 

"Good! Because you're going to get dressed, really nicely, do your hair up, use your new makeup and put your new clothes on. Go!" She ushered me into my bedroom, handed me my bags and shut the door. I pulled off my shirt, put on my tie dyed one, then my green jumper, the sleeves going past my hands. I felt small and cute. I tugged a brush through my hair and pulled on my ripped jeans. After fixing up my hair with moose, I put on my new makeup, my lips a baby pink colour, my blue eyes emphised with eyeliner and mascara. I felt human again. After putting on my converse, I sprayed a sweet-smelling perfume on myself and ran out my room, shutting the door. I heard something fall to the floor, but ignored it.

"I'm a genius!" Kammy giggled, and I smiled gratefully at her.

"Right, let's go then. Where are you taking me?"

"It's a suprise." she winked conspiritorally at me before picking up her bag and opening the apartment door for me.

I took a step outside the apartment. I just had to trust her that this suprise was going to be a good one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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