TRAINING THE COUGAR *warning explicit content*

**Love Story with explicit content **
Shy thirty-something, Fifty Shades obsessive and One Direction fan Alexa, was hiding a traumatic secret from her past. As a result, she'd put up personal barriers and kept friends, colleagues and men at arm's length. Then one summer, Jake Martin appeared all too briefly in her life. He was handsome, clever, kind...and only eighteen! Nothing happened during that Summer, but now five years on, fate had ensured their paths crossed again. Could this traumatised Cougar put the past behind her and could Jake be the one who finally teaches her how to love?


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23. CHAPTER TWENTY TWO




SEPTEMBER 2013

 

Phew! It's been a mad six weeks. Our engagement was delightfully received by Jake's family and Krystal went into full party-planner mode! She has already organised dress viewings at several posh wedding shops in the area as she is insisting she will buy me the dress of my dreams! Who knew after our incredibly sticky start we would end up BFF's? Jake and I went to see Father Tony the parish priest at St Peter's church to discuss Jake converting to Catholicism and he was only too delighted to help. He was even more delighted when we told him we wanted to get married there next year! He had an opening for the last Saturday in May 2014, so we booked it! Jake should be a Catholic too by then, so it will make it extra special and we'll also have the cutest page-boy...

 

Talking of Jacob...it's not been easy. Despite my best efforts and all my training and experience, he still hasn't bonded with me as much as I would have hoped to by now. Don't get me wrong, he's a lovely, lovely kid, but he's still holding me at arms length which is really frustrating. I know it's still only early days, but I long for him to be as openly affectionate with me as he is with Jake. He goes running to him, he sits on his knee all the time and just lavishes affection on him. Not that I mind any of that, it's really endearing and Jake is sooooo good with him. I knew he would make a fantastic father. I just wish Jacob would...let me in a little more. Also, it's still Jake who he wants to put him to bed at night. I only get to do it when Jake is on night shifts and even though Jacob doesn't say it, it feels like he's complying under duress. Jake keeps telling me not to worry, and to keep doing what I'm doing and he'll come around. I don't know whether it's because he doesn't like sharing Jake with me, or that he thinks I'm trying to replace his mama, or a combination of the two, but I must admit I'm hurting, even though I don't let it show...

 

But that is the only downside. Other than that, he seems to have settled in well to his new life with us. He's happy to stay with me when Jake is at work and enjoys everything I do with him. He especially enjoys cooking and we try and make something together as often as possible. I have plastic tubs full of biscuits and cakes! He has been a bit unsettled of late since he started his new school, and although his teacher has assured us that he doesn't show any signs of distress or problems at school and has made friends, he has started to have nightmares and wakes up sobbing. We're that paranoid, we've even put a baby monitor in his bedroom with a sensor in our bedroom and the living room. He as much as farts when he's asleep, we know about it! Again, the first night we heard him cry, we went racing up, but it was only Jake he wanted. I sat on the edge of the bed feeling like a spare part, a sad, spare part, desperate to put my arms around him, give him the comfort he craves and to kiss the fear away. Now Jake goes on his own, settles down on the bed with him and stays with him till he falls asleep again. I pop up to see how they are and if they need anything, trying to be helpful. Luckily so far, Jake has been around when he's had a nightmare. Hopefully, they won't last long and we'll find out what's causing them...

 

The SLK has gone :'( . But in her place we have got a GL 350 Cdi Mercedes 4x4, that Jacob has named 'Mestalla' after the Valencia stadium. She is a beauty, in a lovely charcoal grey with a cream leather interior and she's very spacious. Very, VERY spacious! And yes - we've christened her already...front and back! It was a choice between her and a CLS estate but the sight of my darling Fiancé behind the wheel of the 4x4 looking all off-road and rugged in his checked shirt and sunglasses, was giving me palpations! He looked very sexy and...Mmm. One look at my flushed face and Jake was sold! It was very sad to say goodbye to the SLK and Jake took the day off when it came to exchanging the vehicles. Jacob was at school and as we got into her for the final time, we realised Jake never made good his promise about making love to me on the front seat...So that was soon remedied! I did have to go back inside for wipes though - to take my fingerprints off the windscreen!  Thankfully, we don't have the same problem in the Cdi. Jacob loves the 4x4, especially being so high up and he wants to sit in the front all the time. Jake told him that it was fine when it was just the two of them, but he was to sit in the back if I was with them. That didn't go down too well and despite my protests that I honestly didn't mind sitting in the back, Jake said he wouldn't pander to him. Jake is determined to be the disciplinarian as he knows I won't be!

 

We have also got push bikes...Yay... :/ !! We all went and got properly measured and somehow I have ended up with a bike that makes me look like a 1950's Midwife - complete with a basket at the front! I must begrudgingly admit she is a joy to ride and I feel as safe as I can feel on her. She can't hit the speeds that 'Bradley Wiggins' and son seem to be determined to achieve as they race ahead of me, but at least I'm joining in and she doesn't make my arse too sore. Jake still has some of the cream he got given from Spain and now his skin's all healed, he takes great pleasure in rubbing it onto my thighs and bottom after a bike ride. He reckons it'll help and who am I to argue... ;)

 

I have also just started Spanish classes at the local college. Jake is thrilled and said he will support me in becoming as fluent as I can. This from the man who helped me learn my first Spanish sentence, which should have been 'My name is Alexa Martin and I love cooking,' but instead Jake taught me 'My name is Alexa Martin and I love sex!" Went down a treat, when I stood up and announced THAT to the whole class! Don't worry, I got my own back, courtesy of my new, high heeled, black leather boots. They're something I imagine 'Mrs. Robinson' would wear, but Jake adores them! The night after the 'I like sex' debacle, I made sure he didn't sit down comfortably for the whole of the next day!

 

"MESTALLA!" Jacob suddenly squeals excitedly from the living room window, where he's been waiting for Jake to come home from his shift at the hospital, and runs into the hallway to wait for his papa.

Poor Jake's just done a twelve hour shift and according to his text earlier, it's been full-on with a kid who contracted meningitis. He's going to be knackered...

"PAPA!" Jacob screeches and lunges at him as he walks in.

"Hey Niñito," Jake breathes, scooping him up into a tight hug and kisses his forehead. "Have you had a nice day with Alexa?"

"Si papa. I painted you a picture and I helped mash the potatoes!" He gushes as he hugs him back.

Jake kisses his cheek and nuzzles him. "Sounds great, son." He kicks the door gently closed behind him.

I stand in the background watching this endearing scene play out between them. They really are so beautiful together and my iPhone is full of photo's of them, that I don't tire of flicking through. They're even my iPhone, iPad and laptop screen-savers! Jake thinks I'm obsessed...

Jake carries Jacob towards me. "Go get your painting, Niñito and show it to me."

"Okay papa!" He slips down, and runs up the stairs.

"Hi babe..." It's as far as I get before his tongue makes a welcome venture into my mouth. After kissing him hungrily back, I release him and frown. He looks exhausted. "Shitty day?"

He nods sadly. "The worst. We lost the kid," he sighs, disconsolate.

OH NO!

I throw my arms around him, hold him tightly and he sags against me, burying his head in my neck. "What can I do?" I whisper, as Jacob bounds back down the stairs. He gives me a certain look and I know exactly what I can do. Later. When a certain someone is asleep...

"Look papa!" Jacob runs breathlessly towards him. "It's me and you playing football!"

Jake takes the paper off him and regards it proudly. I slip away and pour him a large glass of red wine as he ambles into the sitting room with Jacob hard on his heels.

 

*******

 

I lie under the duvet and wait for Jake to come in from putting Jacob to bed. I have a surprise for him that I was saving for a special occasion, but something tells me he needs it tonight...

He enters the bedroom and pushes the door gently behind him.

"Is the monitor working okay?" He asks.

"Yeah babe. I heard all about the massive Lego challenge he's got ready for you tomorrow!"

Jake grins. "We're going to build a huge fort and using as many Lego bricks as we can. Should keep him entertained for a few hours!"

I smile. "Maybe we could take him to Pembertons Toy Store afterwards and buy him some things to go with it and then take him to MacDonalds for lunch?"

Jake beams and he treats me to the sight of his bare chest as he strips. "Oh sweetheart, what a lovely idea! You really are the nicest person. Maybe we should ask Father Tony to get you beatified!"

I giggle. "I don't think the good Father would be in too much of a hurry to get me beatified, if he saw what I've got on under the covers..."

Jake's eyes glow with excitement and he hurriedly pulls down his jogging bottoms and underpants in one go. He steps out of his clothes and yanks back the duvet.

His expression and physical reaction to what he sees, tells me I've got it just right...

"Fuuuuuccckkk! Oh Wench...At long last..." Jake growls in appreciation.

I am lying here in a full Wench costume that I found on Ebay. It has a tight, black corset top with a lacy, white, off the shoulder blouse peaking out of the corset and a full, short blue skirt with a gold trim. I'm wearing black lacy thigh-highs with my long, high heeled boots and of course, I'm going commando again...

"Does Sire like my outfit?" I ask as seductively as I can.

"LIKE may be an understatement," He breathes raspily, clambering onto the bed next to me. "I am going to bang your brains out Wench...without taking off the outfit..."

Mmmmm...the only thing about going commando is that you have nothing there to absorb the moisture...

"Bring it on, Sire..." I pant.

He smirks naughtily at me, then his mouth devours mine with a mixture of hunger and passion. I move my arms around him and gently drag my fingers up his back. His skin has all healed, but it's still pretty sensitive in places. I know all those places. His chest and back are burned into my memory, I know all the peaks and dips, all the places he likes my tongue best...Mmmm... His mouth moves off mine and descends down my chin and collar bones. He pulls at my corset, loosening it enough so that he can lift my breasts out of it.

"Oh girls..." he whispers. "How I've dreamt of seeing you like this..."

He buries his head between them and sighs in contentment. He always makes me giggle doing that.

Jake lifts his head, his dark eyes glimmering. "Stop giggling, Wench and get those boots around my arse." He orders huskily.

"Yes, Sire."

I wriggle into position underneath him and as his hands pull up my skirt, his fingertips brush against me intimately, making me shiver and he gasps.

"Oh sweetheart...your wetness gets me every time. It's the biggest turn on..."

"Mmmm, hmmm..." I always seem to lose the power of speech at this point...

He hovers over me, but doesn't push straight in. Instead he gently rocks back and forth against me, using himself to stimulate me further and I can feel my slickness coating him.

It's getting too much...

"Jaaaakkkkkeee..." I hear myself moan and I automatically tilt my hips, my heels digging into him.

It's enough to make him comply, and with a loud groan, he thrusts inside me.

We've never made love whilst I've been wearing quite so many clothes before, and it's not exactly comfortable, but this is for him not me, so I grit my teeth and ignore the fact that I can start to feel the sweat running in rivers from the nape of my neck all the way down my spine. He props himself up and brings his knees forwards, so that he is now kneeling between my legs and I still have my ankles crossed around his behind. He grabs my hips and pulls me downwards onto his thighs as he sits back on his heels, making the dress ride up further, so it is bunched above my waist and everything below my diaphragm is exposed to him.

"Oh Alexa..." he moans. "You look...amazing. I need you so much, sweetheart..."

My heart aches in my chest. His words are raw and pained. He's still holding on to the earlier trauma at work.

"Oh Jake...I'm here, my love." I pant as my hands reach up to stroke his beautiful face. "I love you so much." My voice drops to a low growl. "Now fuck me hard, until you lose yourself inside me..."

He inhales sharply in surprise at my words, but no one is more surprised at my words, than I am! I desperately try not to let my shock show as he stares down at me.

Shit! Have I gone too far?

Suddenly his jet eyes seem to darken further and he grabs my hips hard and plunges deep inside me. Pushing my hips upwards until he nearly slips out, he then pulls me sharply down onto him again, until he is literally balls deep inside of me. I gasp in surprise and he stills, his eyes searching my face. I nod slightly in approval and he smiles in a way that registers deep within me, flooding me with new arousal. He does it again, and again, stopping every time to check my reaction. I know he's worried he's being too rough with me, but I also know how badly he needs this.

"F-faster Jake..." I pant. "And don't stop till you come..."

He leans down and kisses me softly on the lips, then rears up and really begins to pound into me.

OH...HOLY...CRAP...

 

This is seriously, SERIOUSLY, intense. In all our time together, we've never done it like this. My heels are digging into his behind through no fault of my own, thanks to the way he has me positioned. God knows how he is going to sit down tomorrow. He doesn't even seem to be registering the feeling and he must be getting sore by now. His jaw is strung tightly, sweat is running down his face and chest and his dark eyes are glittering and wild. I know the days events are playing out behind them, even though he is doing everything to obliterate them from his mind.

"Let go, Jake..." I beg with a moan.

"Not...without...you..." he hisses through gritted teeth.

Jeeeessssuuusss...

I don't know if I can come like this...I can't seem to relax...And the fact that he's still obviously traumatised isn't exactly turning me on. And to top it all off...my head is beginning to throb and the outfit is getting really uncomfortable. I don't know how much more of this I can take...

...Then by some miracle, I begin to feel it. Maybe it's just the rhythmic pounding or something deeper in my psyche that responds to his desperate need for me, but I feel my toes curl in my boots, and the wave travels up my legs and connects deep inside me.

"YES! YES! JAKE!" I breathlessly pant, frantically announcing the arrival of my orgasm.

"OH...OH...ALEXAAAAAAA!" He wails as he finally lets go and buries his head in my neck, sobbing uncontrollably.

 

"I kept picturing Jacob," he mumbles when he finally quietens down and I feel him relax against me.

I feel like someone has thrown a bucket of water over me. I'm absolutely saturated in sweat. My hair is soaking and I can feel that the dress is totally stuck to me. Added to that, I have 12 stone of drenched, sated male collapsed on top of me and I'm wearing long leather boots... But none of that matters. I wrap myself even tighter around him and kiss his damp forehead.

"Oliver was only six months younger than him..." He continues in a quiet, sad voice. "I kept thinking...What if this happens to Jacob? Meningitis is so indiscriminate it can strike anyone...I can still see his parent's devastated faces...He's not the first kid we've lost, but he's the first one since I became a father. Is it always going to be this hard now, every time a child dies on the ward?"

"Oh Jake..." I whisper. "It's only harder now because you can relate to what the parents are going through, now you're a parent too. Yes, of course it will make things much harder. But it will also help you empathise. It will make you a better Doctor and an amazing Paediatrician."

He slowly lifts his head off my chest and looks at me.

"Do you think so?" He asks, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

I stroke his gorgeous, earnest face. "I know so. I know you will work even harder now to be the best Doctor you can possibly be...But just remember, with the best will in the world, you can't save everybody."

Jake nods solemnly, then finally, FINALLY, his face settles and his features relax. I can feel the tremor move through him until it dissipates out of his toes. And he's still inside me. He looks down at me and for the first time this evening, he smiles his glorious all-dimples-all-worshipping smile, that I love so much.

"Oh sweetheart," he whispers. "As long as I have you, Jacob and my parents, I can take on the world. Your love and support will carry me through everything."

I smile up at him. "Para siempre." I whisper back.

He beams, then registers our positions.

"Jesus Alexa!" He pushes himself hurriedly off me. "I'm so, so sorry sweetheart. You must be so uncomfortable."

I shake my head at him. "It doesn't matter babe, I know how much you needed that. Hopefully you haven't  TOTALLY destroyed my dress..!"

He gently eases out of me and rolls to the side. I gingerly bring my poor legs back together. Oh they're going to kick off beautifully with pins and needles any time now...Jake seemingly reads my thoughts and moves to ease off each boot, tossing them carefully to the floor, then gently peels down my sodden thigh-highs, his fingers massaging down my legs as he does. I groan in appreciation and he smiles. Once they've joined my boots on the floor, he helps me to sit up and we wrestle the soaked dress off me somehow, giggling every time it decides to stick somewhere. With the dress in a heap on the floor too, he reaches over and grabs a packet of wipes from the bedside cabinet and together we cleanse the sweat off each other, our hands massaging each others skin through the soft wipes, until there is a pile of them on the floor too. Oh, that's going to be fun to tidy in the morning, but right now I don't care. Right now, I want him again...

"What?" Jake whispers as he catches my look.

I arch an eyebrow at him and give him a sexy little smile. He gapes at me.

"Are you serious? You want more after all that?" He gasps in surprise.

I sigh. "I don't want more. I want you. I want you to make love to me. No heels, no costumes, just me and you connecting again. What does Christian call it? Vanilla sex with no bells and whistles!"

Jake grins. "As long as the vanilla comes with lashings of imaginary whipped cream and chocolate sauce!"

"Always!" I laugh. "So... you up for it?"

He smirks at me and cups my face. "Oh sweetheart," he breathes. "The day I can't make love to you, is the day I stop breathing..."

He kisses me, wrapping his arms around me and rolls me over, so I am sprawled on top of him.

"Seeing as I have crushed you for the last twenty minutes, I think it's only fair you go on top this time..."

I smile adoringly at him and stroke his face. "Aww, my darling fiancé. Always so considerate."

He smiles up at me. "That's because I adore my beloved fiancée and I can't wait to make you my wife."

I lean down and kiss him directly over his beating heart. "And I can't wait to call you my husband."

He strokes my back as I continue to softly kiss his chest, gently dragging my tongue across his skin and teasing his dark, erect nipples. He has the most perfect, muscular chest thanks to his regular gym sessions and martial arts training and I'm glad it's now pretty much healed. I'm looking forward to coating it again, in spray cream, chocolate sauce, golden syrup...

His hands move into my hair and begin to gently massage my scalp as I continue my slow exploration with my tongue. I can feel him pulsating under my chest and I move so that he is captured snuggly between my breasts. He inhales sharply and groans loudly, his grip on my head intensifying slightly. I smile proudly to myself in the knowledge that I can give him so much pleasure. I never thought I'd have the confidence to do anything like this to a man. If someone had told me last September that not only would I enter a loving relationship with Jake, but I'd move in with him, leave my job to take care of his child and be engaged in the space of a year, I'd have never believed them! Jake said last month that this had been the best year of his life. Well it has also been mine. Bar none. Apart from bumping into that arsehole Paul and those God-awful hours where we thought we'd lost them, I wouldn't change a thing.

"Alexa," he moans. "I need to be inside you sweetheart. Pleeeaaaasseeee..."

Almost reluctantly, I slide northwards towards his face and I reach down for him. One swift push and he is buried inside me, eliciting an impassioned moan from both of us. Oh this is nice. It's been a while since we made love like this. Slowly, gently, savouring each other. Since Jacob's arrival, we've had to fit in our sex life around him either being at school or asleep and there's usually a rushed undertone to our sex now. It is a period of re-adjustment for all us, and his needs will always come first, but I hope Jake and I never lose this connection or this need to lose ourselves in each other. Having any kind of physical contact with him, is like a drug for me. Even if it's just the touch of his hand on my skin. It's as necessary to me as breathing. My mouth finds his and my tongue gladly delves into the warm, moist depths, where his eager tongue is waiting for me and joins in the ardent dance.

Oh God, I love him. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone. He is my world, my life, my soul-mate. And he has given me something so, so precious. His son. His son to love and care for as if he was mine. And hopefully, someday, Jacob will drop down the barriers and let me in totally. I know I will never replace Manuela, but I hope to come close...

I pull up gently. "I love you so much, Jake Martin," I breathe, desperate to reiterate it to him.

His eyelids slide open and his dark eyes glow like hot coals, with love. "And I love you, my beautiful, beautiful sweetheart. Para siempre."

I grin at him. He's stolen my line, but before I can admonish him, I feel the waves of pleasure start to wash over me and I come, gazing adoringly into the glorious, dark, melting depths of his eyes. He gazes lovingly back as he joins me, whispering his love for me against my lips, and holding me close.

 

 

*******

 

 

Something wakes me. I feel panicked and reach over in the dark for Jake. He is crashed out next to me, snoring soundly. Well, a traumatic twelve hour shift and two mind blowing orgasms will do that to you. I relax, settle back down again and close my eyes.

"Papa..?"

SHIT! JACOB!

Jake continues to snore next to me.

Crap! I don't want to wake him, he's exhausted.

In the next breath, I am out of bed and dressed in just my nightie and knickers, I tiptoe into Jacob's room.

"Papa..?"

"It's me, Jacob." I begin as I walk gingerly towards his bed and turn on his bedside light. He is sat up with his head in his hands.

"Want papa," he sobs from behind his hands.

I can feel my heart being torn from my chest at his rejection.

Should I just go and wake up Jake?

"Jacob," I begin tentatively. "Papa's asleep. He had to work really hard yesterday and he's very, very tired. I don't want to wake him unless I really have to. Please honey, let me help you."

After what feels like an eternity he lifts his head out of his hands and looks at me with his daddy's dark eyes and says nothing.

We've hit an impasse and what happens next could make or break us. I have over ten years of experience and qualifications with children. I've dealt with worse situations than this when it has come to managing children's behaviour and made it work. I can do this. I take a deep breath...

 ...and ignore all my knowledge and experience and go for blackmail instead...

"Jacob, if I wake papa now, he's going to be too tired to play with you tomorrow and I know you want him to help you build a huge Lego fort. In fact, I spoke to papa earlier and we were going to give you a surprise tomorrow..."

He frowns at me, his dark eyes burning through me.

"What's my surprise?" He whispers.

At last! He has thrown me a lifeline. "Well...Let's just say it might involve taking you to a certain shop..."

He gasps and his eyes light up. Christ, he really is a miniature version of Jake...

"Pembertons?" He asks hopefully, his mouth breaking into a reluctant smile.

I shrug, very noncommittally. "It all depends on whether you let papa sleep and let me help you."

He stares at me and I hold my breath. Then, just when I feel like I can't take the silence any longer...

"Okay."

Now it's my turn to stare at him. Has he just agreed to my help?

SHIT! DO SOMETHING, IDIOT!

"Good boy," I breathe as the withheld air escapes my lungs. "Tell me what can I do to make you feel better. Do you want a drink of water? A story? Do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?"

BRILLIANT ALEXA, JUST KEEP BOMBARDING HIM WITH QUESTIONS!

He ignores all my questions. "Are we going to Pembertons tomorrow?" He persists.

I rub my chin, so he knows I'm thinking. "Mmm...I usually talk better when I am lying down..."

In the blink of an eye, he's shifted over in the bed to make space for me. Beaming, I get up off the bed and join him under the covers. My arms ache to hold him to me, but I daren't push my luck. I lie on my back and he looks at me optimistically. I can hold back no longer.

What is it with these Martin men that I find impossible to resist?

"Okay, yes, it was my idea to take you to Pembertons and maybe get you a few things to go with your fort and then I thought we could all go to McDonalds for lunch..."

Before I can continue, he slides across and rests his head on my boobs and slips his arm around my waist. My breath catches and tears spring to my eyes. It's the first time he has ever initiated any affection towards me. I slowly bring my arms up, gently put them around him and stroke him. He doesn't move and the tears start to fall freely from the sides of my eyes.

"Oh Jacob," I gulp. "I love you so, so much honey."

He lifts his little head and looks at me in surprise. "You do?" He whispers.

I wipe my eyes. "Of course! I've loved you from the first time I saw you on Skype! I would do anything for you - including chasing the horrible nightmares away." I take a deep breath, not wanting to run before I can walk, but unable to stop myself. "Talk to me honey, please. Tell me what your nightmares are about and I promise I'll do everything I can to make them stop." I plead.

He bites his lip and looks downwards, whilst I continue to gently stroke him, willing him to speak.

"I dream that papa dies and that I am all alone."

OH. JESUS. CHRIST.

I can feel my heart slam in my chest. The poor, poor, darling boy. I move my hands and shakily cup his face.

"Oh Jacob..." I breathe. "I'm so sorry, honey. With everything you've been through...I can understand why you would have nightmares about this. I sometimes have nightmares about it too."

Jacob gasps and looks at me. "Really?" He whispers in quiet astonishment.

I nod. "It's my greatest fear that something will happen to your papa...but honey, it's only natural to worry about the people you love. You want to keep them safe and with you at all times...but it's not possible. You've gone through so much already...losing your abuelo and nanna, then losing your mama...it's a horrible, horrible thing to go through." I stroke a stray tear away from his cheek and sigh. "But your papa is big and strong and...God forbid something terrible happens to him, you won't be alone. You'll have Abuelo Joe and Nanna Krystal and Uncle Tony, Aunty Maria and all your other Uncles, Aunties and cousins in Spain." I take a deep breath. "And you'll always have me."

His little worried face frowns in thought, then his lips twitch in a trace of a smile and he nods, understanding.

I stroke his dear little face. "Me, papa, abuelo, nanna and all your family in Valencia will always be there for you honey. And one day when you're big and strong like your papa you'll have a family of your own and your own Niñito. You're NEVER going to be alone Jacob. I promise." I say earnestly.

Suddenly he throws his arms around my neck and buries his head under my chin. I gasp in surprise, but I automatically wrap my arms around him protectively and I know for sure here and now, I would give my life for this child. This poor little boy who has been through and lost so much already and was too worried to tell his papa, his deepest, darkest dreams. I kiss his forehead and inspiration strikes me.

"Jacob...do you know what a dream catcher is?"

"No," he whispers into my neck.

I stroke his back. "I made them at the club with the children last year. I'll show you a picture in the morning. We can get all the materials we need from the Craft shop tomorrow whilst we are out and me you and papa can make one for above your bed". I take a deep breath and begin the story. "Long ago, in a place called America, people who were known as Native Americans used to make them..."

 

*******

 

I turn in my sleep and reach out for her. My hand doesn't find her, so I stretch a little more. Still nothing. I shuffle forwards in my sleepy haze, as my hands continue to search. There's nothing, and her side of the bed is cold...

I awake with a start, moving across the bed. She isn't there. I listen for any sounds, but there are none. Where is she?

JACOB!

I'm now fully awake and jump out of bed, stumbling into the pile of clothes on the floor and only just avoiding getting spiked by those wonderful boots. I slip swiftly out of the room, into Jacob's bedroom and my breath catches in my throat. In the dim light from his nightlight, I see the most beautiful sight...

My darling Niñito is wrapped around my beautiful sweetheart and both are sleeping peacefully.

If I've seen anything more wonderful in my twenty three years, I can't remember it. Oh God, please let this be the breakthrough I've been hoping for. I know his lack of affection towards Alexa has been totally killing her, though she'd never admit it. He's polite and he's friendly towards her, but I have had to keep prompting him to give her hugs and kisses, when he does it freely with me, mum and papa. Alexa has no idea how much I've been talking to him about it, when it's just the two of us together. He assures me he likes Alexa, but I want him to more than just like her. She deserves to be loved by him, because she LOVES him. She genuinely, genuinely loves him and I couldn't have wished for a better person to fill in the awful void in his life left by Manuela. Deep down, I know she reminds him too much of her. She has the same soft, calm ways. He has an open wound, but Alexa can be the soothing balm he needs...if he'd just let her in.

Oh God, I love her. I love her so, so much. All those nights I lay awake thinking and fantasising about her, are nothing in comparison to how wonderful she really is. I never thought in my wildest dreams she'd still be an untouched, unkissed, unloved virgin at thirty-six and the way she has developed since we met up again, is incredible. We have this amazing chemistry, which results in the most spectacular sex I have ever experienced. Christ, I hope I haven't ruined that Wench outfit! That was just mind-blowing. I look forward to many more dressing up sessions! She is the ultimate woman for me. I can't imagine EVER being with anyone else. And hopefully in the not too distant future, my beautiful sweetheart, my most darling fiancée, will be mine to have and to hold forever.

Christ, I really want to take a photo, but I'm sure to wake them. He must have had a nightmare and I was too out of it to hear him. Looks like my beloved, managed to resolve the drama as she always does. Wish I knew what was causing his nightmares though, but he won't tell me. He says he can't remember, but I know it's a lie. I just hope he doesn't dream about the time on that bloody boat. I'm still having trouble dealing with it myself...

Oh God, I love them. I love them with every fibre of my being. Jacob is going to grow up with two parents who stay together and who make him the centre of their world. He's not going to get sent away to boarding school like I was. Thank God, he never had to go to a nursery. I HATED my nursery. Okay I was probably a brat, but all I can remember is constantly being shouted at and put on time out. No one was ever nice to me. Well, except for one lady. But it was such a brief encounter, so long ago, I'm not sure that I didn't actually dream it...

Well, I can't stand here gazing at them for the rest of the night. It's barely 2am and I'm still knackered, thanks to that dreadful shift and the mind-blowing sex with Miss Insatiable Wench 2013...What should I do? Wake Alexa and risk waking Jacob too, or just go back to bed? Alone.

Christ, I HATE sleeping alone...

 

 

 

HOT. So. Sooooo, HOT. 

Something heavy is on my chest...

CAN. NOT. BREATHE..!

I jolt awake and take in a large gulp of air. My eyes spring open and frantically look round. Where am I? I'm in bed, but this isn't my room...Something murmurs gently against my neck. I look downwards and make out the little face in the dim light. Of course! I came to help Jacob with his nightmare. He is wrapped around me, fast asleep, his head on my chest and his little hand is entwined in mine. My heart fills with a combination of love and joy and I go to hug him but I can't move my other arm.

OH MY GOD! I CAN'T MOVE MY ARM! Something is weighing it down!

I tilt my head gently and squint in the darkness. I make out a familiar, gorgeous face, asleep on the pillow. Jake must have come looking for me and decided to join us. I can now feel his protective arm, slung around us both, holding us close.

I am squished under their weight. Sweat is running in rivers down my spine from the combined body heat, in the single bed. I really am, beyond uncomfortable.

 

AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER.

 

**************

 

 

 

 

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