TRAINING THE COUGAR *warning explicit content*

**Love Story with explicit content **
Shy thirty-something, Fifty Shades obsessive and One Direction fan Alexa, was hiding a traumatic secret from her past. As a result, she'd put up personal barriers and kept friends, colleagues and men at arm's length. Then one summer, Jake Martin appeared all too briefly in her life. He was handsome, clever, kind...and only eighteen! Nothing happened during that Summer, but now five years on, fate had ensured their paths crossed again. Could this traumatised Cougar put the past behind her and could Jake be the one who finally teaches her how to love?



"Sweetheart, there's a fundraising Summer Ball for the NSPCC coming up. It's going to be full of medical professionals and their plus ones, so it's probably going to be a total bore, but as one of the trainee Paediatricians, I'm obliged to go. Will you come with me?"

It was early June and they had just finished a cottage pie* for dinner, that Alexa had made.

"Of course I'll come with you! It sounds fun." She smiled.

"I doubt it," Jake groaned. "It's fancy dress."

"Cool!" Alexa said excitedly. "Is there a theme?"

"Only you would get excited about dressing up!" Jake said in exasperation. "No, there's no theme...apparently the organisers couldn't decide on one. I've got a black cloak somewhere from a Halloween party we had for the kids on the ward last year, so I'll just go as Harry Potter again."

Alexa choked on her Pepsi Max. "HARRY POTTER? You can't go as bloody Harry Potter!"

Jake frowned. "And why not?"

"Because you're not ten years old! Besides, who would I go as? Hermione?"

"I was thinking more of...Hagrid..."

Alexa threw her napkin at him and he caught it deftly and laughed.

"Okay...not a fan of the boy wizard then. What do you suggest - and I warn you now, I don't do costumes. I'm not exactly a huge fan of dressing up."

"I never would have guessed," Alexa said sarcastically. Then she brightened up suddenly. "I've got a great idea who you can go as! Do you have a tux?" She asked, excitedly.

"Yeah...I had to get one for my graduation. Why?"

But Alexa was already out of the kitchen. She returned moments later with her iPad. After a few taps, she turned it around to show Jake. On the screen was the cover of the second in the Fifty Shades trilogy - Fifty Shades Darker - with a picture of an ornate silver mask on the front sleeve.

"You've lost me," Jake said in confusion.

"Honestly Jake, I'm beginning to think you don't listen to a word I read to you! The mask - it's from the charity ball Christian and Anastasia went to. Anastasia wore a navy dress and this mask and Christian wore..."

"...A tux. I remember now. Was that when he put those silver orgasm balls up her?"

"Oh, so were listening!"

"Just to the good bits," Jake said with a salacious smile.

Alexa shook her head in irritation. "So...what do you think? We just need to get you a simple black mask from Ebay and you just have to wear your tux. Think you can manage that?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "Yeah...So we have to look at getting you a fancy silver mask from Ebay too?"

"Actually...I already have one..."

Jake's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I got it from the Poundshop last Christmas. They had a whole party section for Christmas and New Year and it reminded me so much of Anastasia's mask, I couldn't resist it." She said blushing.

"When have you EVER managed to resist something from the Poundshop?" Jake chuckled.

Alexa beamed. "Probably never!"




Two weeks later, Alexa was zooming breathlessly round to Jakes house, her navy chiffon dress pulled up to her thighs, so it didn't get in her way as she drove, waves tamed with lashings of hairspray and make-up to a minimum as she didn't want to sweat it off under her mask. She was already sweating enough as it was. Sue had chosen that night to call an impromptu staff meeting to discuss new courses she wanted staff to go on and Alexa couldn't think of a good enough excuse to get out of it without mentioning Jake, so she had had to sit restlessly through the hour long meeting and now she was running late. She swung her Peugeot into Jake's cul-de-sac and brought it to a stop with a screech in front of his house. Grasping her mask and handbag, she shot out of the car, stumbled up the driveway and used the spare key to get into the house.

"Jake!" She called breathlessly. There was no sign of him. "JAAA..."

Footsteps at the top of the stairs made her look up.


Jake stood at the top of the stairs, in a fitted black tux, with a white shirt, black bow tie and a sculpted black mask. He looked like a cross between James Bond and Zorro. Alexa felt her jaw drop as she gazed up at him in wonder.

My own, personal Christian Grey has come to life...WOW!

Jake slowly descended the stairs, his fiery black eyes not leaving hers. His lips were pulled into a sexy smirk, seemingly enjoying the fact that he had turned his girlfriend into a statue. A gawping, drooling, highly aroused statue.

When he arrived at the last stair, he reached for her hand and kissed her across the knuckles, sending what felt like volts of electricity through her.

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart," he whispered against her skin, his warm breath causing every fine little hair on her hand jump to attention.

Alexa swallowed. "Do you have any idea how much I want to push you onto the stairs and fuck your brains out, right now?"

Now it was Jake's turn to gawp at her.

SHIT! Did I really say that out loud?

Alexa desperately tried to get a grip of her raging hormones, but she could feel the blood pounding round her head, her breaths coming in quick sharp pants and her arousal begin to seep out of her.

CHRIST! This Fifty Shades role play is sending me into meltdown...

"Oh Alexa..." Jake murmured in a low growl, reading her need and pulling her against him. He pulled at her lips with his and kissed her deeply. His hands slid over the chiffon of her dress and then he was pulling up the hem and running his hands up her hold-ups, moaning softly as he found her bare skin at the top, then louder as he felt how wet she was. He slid two fingers inside her knickers and his thumb circled her as his fingers glided inside her slick heat.


She whimpered and ground shamelessly against his hand, then with a flick of his thumb she detonated, clenching hard around his fingers as she shuddered in silent release. Her head lolled forwards against his broad chest and Jake held her against him with one hand, whilst carefully easing his fingers out of her with the other. She shut her eyes and inhaled his comforting musky smell, wrapping her arms around his waist and held onto him as she spiralled down from her unexpected orgasm and regained the feeling in her legs.

"Is that better, my insatiable little Wench?" He whispered against her forehead and she felt him smile.

Alexa sluggishly tipped her head back and looked at him through hazy green eyes, still dilated with pleasure.

She flushed a deeper shade of pink. "Seeing you dressed like was a total sensory overload. You are my ultimate fantasy, Jake." She breathed.

"Oh sweetheart," he sighed, stroking his fingers down her flushed face. "I love hearing you say that. I'm delighted that I can affect you so much. I could see how aroused you were getting, the closer I got to you. I had to get you off, otherwise you'd have been uncomfortable all evening."

Alexa smiled. "And no need to use any silver balls!"

"Christ sweetheart, if you'd had the silver balls inside you, I'm sure you would have self-combusted in the hallway!" He laughed. "Now - are we going to this ball or would you really prefer to fuck my brains out on the stairs, because to be honest, I know which option I prefer!"

Alexa smiled sheepishly. " would be a shame not to go, after we've made all this effort, but as soon as we get back, I promise we are going to rub the pattern off this carpet!"




The function room at La Maison Country Club was decked out in fairy lights, streamers and balloons. The tables were covered in crisp white tablecloths, sprinkled with black and silver sequins, and all had a sizeable clear vase full of fairy lights, holding large black, white and silver faux ostrich feathers. A chequered dance floor had been created in the middle of the room complete with a large hanging glitter ball. Alexa was starting to feel nervous as they made their way to their table. She had never met any of Jake's work colleagues before as Jake wasn't huge on socialising, much preferring to spend his free time alone with her. On one level it probably wasn't healthy, but on another level, he spent so much time with these people at the hospital anyway, it was probably a good thing.

"Fuck me, it's the Lone Ranger!" A man dressed in a Thor costume exclaimed as they stopped at the table. "Where's Tonto?"

"The same place your hammer's going to be very soon," Jake growled.

Thor laughed. "Seriously Martin, who are you meant to be? An undercover secret agent?"

Jake smiled. "A tool like you wouldn't understand." He pulled Alexa forward. "Tom, this is my girlfriend Alexa."

Thor stood up and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you at last, Alexa." He smiled. "Have you come as the Ice Queen?"


"OH MY GOD! IT'S CHRISTIAN AND ANASTASIA!" Squealed an excited Wonder Woman joining them at the table.

Jake turned to her and beamed. "See, she's on the same page. Get with the programme, Nelson!"

Tom shook his head. "I still don't have a fucking clue who you two are meant to be..."

"That's because you haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey!" Wonder Woman said in irritation. She put her drinks down and offered Jake her hand. "I'm Carla his other half."

Jake shook her hand warmly. "His better half! Lovely to meet you Carla. I'm Jake and this is Alexa."

"Hi! Oh my God, your costumes are just genius! I wish I'd thought of that. Come and sit next to me Alexa. Can you believe we have to wait until next February to see Jamie Dornan play Christian? Maybe Jake could give us a preview!"

Oh if only you knew...




The table was soon filled with Jake's various work colleagues and their plus one's. Alexa couldn't remember everyone's names, so ended up just calling them by their characters. As well as Thor and Wonder Woman, they had been joined by Captain Jack Sparrow, Batman and Robin, Jake and Neytiri from Avatar, a pair of Smurfs and for all intents and purposes, a woman who seemed to have come as a pole dancer in a peroxide blonde wig, black lace basque and a short black skirt that barely covered her stockings. Alexa was glad of the mask as it gave her some anonymity, plus she was able to chat to Carla whilst keeping a close eye on the tart, who had been eyeing Jake hungrily since she'd sat down. Thankfully, Jake had placed a protective arm around her shoulders as soon as they had taken their seats and seemed totally oblivious to the man-eater sat opposite, as he chatted to Tom.




They had enjoyed a delicious buffet, followed by various cheesecakes and cupcakes which were all washed down with cold, crisp white wine. Then it was down to the formalities, whilst they heard speeches from various people associated with the NSPCC, plus some medical professionals and then watched a short film about the work of the NSPCC on a large screen behind the decks.

"You okay, sweetheart?" Jake whispered in her ear, during the the film.

Alexa nodded at him and smiled. "I'm sat next to the sexiest man in the room. Of course I'm okay!" She whispered back.

Jake gave her a salacious grin. "You're only as sexy as the woman you are with," he growled kissing her earlobe. "The DJ will come on once all these formalities are over. We can stay for a couple of tracks then go whenever you want. I believe there's a stair with our name on waiting for us!"

Alexa squirmed in her seat and squeezed his thigh.

Oh Jake, at this precise moment in time, I'd have you on the chair you're sat on, never mind the stairs at home...

She leaned over to him. "Don't bother getting undressed. I want you fully clothed...including the mask." She whispered huskily.

Jake inhaled sharply. His left hand squeezed her shoulder, whilst his right hand stroked hers on his thigh.

"Oh my naughty little Wench," he breathed, running his tongue subtly down the shell of her ear. "I cannot fucking wait..."

Polite applause broke out in the room and they were jolted back to reality as they realised the film had finished. The lights changed colour and DJ Funkmeiser sprang to life, starting with a banging track from Avicii.

Carla shot up. "Oooh I love this!" She held her hand out to Alexa. "Come on Anastasia, let's go and tear the floor up and leave the boring farts to talk medicine!"

Alexa looked at Jake and he held his hands up in surrender. "Go and enjoy yourself, sweetheart. I'm not much of a dancer."

Really? A body like that and he doesn't dance? I need to remedy that at the earliest opportunity...

Carla weaved them through the tables where others were also heading towards the dance-floor. Alexa positioned herself where she could still see Jake and began to dance along to the music. She saw Jake smile at her and then Thor leaned in towards him and Captain Jack got up and took her vacated seat on the other side of Jake. DJ Funkmeiser started pumping out tune after tune as Alexa and Carla continued to dance and were joined by the smurfs as the dance floor really began to fill up. She lost sight of Jake due to the crowd around her and the songs began to melt into each other.

"I NEED A DRINK!" Carla shouted in her ear after a while.


Grinning, Carla took her hand again and led them through the throng. She suddenly felt Carla stiffen and she stopped and looked towards their table. Sat tossing her peroxide wig and laughing flirtatiously with both their partners was the pole dancer.

Thor seemed to be enjoying the attention, by the way he was staring at her impressive cleavage. Jake at least, was looking uncomfortable, even under the mask.

"Who the fuck is she and what the hell has she come as?" Carla spat.

"No idea on both counts. She looks like some kind of pole dancer."

Carla turned to her. "You're far too nice. She looks like a prostitute and a cheap one at that!"

As they got to the table, the pole dancer threw her head back and gave a loud raucous laugh, making her ample chest jiggle dramatically.

"Her laugh is as fake as her hair," Alexa whispered.

"And her tits," Carla growled.

As they approached the table, she leant forwards and placed her hand on Jake's arm. Alexa froze.

Okay Gollum, get your fucking hands off my precious!

Jake shot up off his chair making her hand drop away. He held his hand out to Alexa and beckoned her to him. Alexa frowned.

Why don't you just come to me and get away from the slut?

Reluctantly she made her way round the table to him, as a furious Carla headed pointedly towards Thor. As Alexa reached him, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her tightly to him, kissing the top of her head.

"Jane, this is my girlfriend Alexa. Alexa this is Professor Stevens."

Professor Stevens? Holy Shit! SHE WAS HIS BOSS!

"Hi," Alexa squeaked, hiding her horror behind the mask.

"It's nyshhh to finally meet the gurl whosh captured the heart of one of my mosht talented team membershh!" She said, slurrily.

Great! She was pissed too!

Alexa managed a weak smile. Jane reached out and tugged Jake's sleeve.

"I've high hopesh for thish one. Very high hopesh." She smiled crookedly at Jake.

Okay Gollum, you can stop with the pissed flirting. AND STOP TOUCHING HIM!

Alexa felt rage bubble up inside her. It was definitely time to go. She squeezed his arm and Jake looked at her.

"Time to hit the stairs." She whispered.

Jake beamed at her then turned towards the others.

"We're heading off," he began.

"NO!" Carla squealed from where she was exchanging angry whispers with Thor. She made her way over to Alexa, took her hand and pulled her to the side out of earshot. "Please Alexa, don't go yet. Our mini-bus is booked for 1am! Please don't leave me to cope with this for the next hour. It will only end badly."

Alexa looked over at Jake, who was looking at her in concern.

Oh God I want to get him home...but I can't leave like this...

She took a deep breath. "Carla, I understand I really do. I want to leave because I want to get Jake away from Professor Stevens. I'm worried she's that pissed she'll try anything and she keeps touching him which is seriously winding me up!"

"I don't want her anywhere near Tom either! Honestly, is that any way to behave? But we're stuck here for at least another hour as a gang of us all chipped in for a mini-bus. I can't even get him on the dance floor as he can't dance!"

Alexa frowned. "I know! Neither can Jake! So what's the alternative, we sit here for the next hour, whilst she gets more pissed and more outrageous with our men? I don't think I could cope with that."

She stole another look at Jake who was now talking with Jane and Thor, a pained expression visible on his face despite his mask. Even Thor now looked uncomfortable. Then inspiration hit Alexa.

"Carla, go over to Tom and demand he spends the next hour dancing with you. I'll do the same with Jake. Jane is far too pissed to even stand, so she can't follow us."

"He won't do it. He hates dancing." Carla said dejectedly.

"Does he like sex?" Alexa asked.

"Well, yes of course...what are you suggesting?" She said worriedly.

Alexa swallowed.

It has to be the wine talking...

"So tell Tom if he comes and dances with you for the next hour and doesn't leave your side, you'll fuck his brains out when you get home. Isn't that better than sitting at the table with Professor Pissed for the next sixty minutes?"

Carla gaped at her. sounded better in my head...

Carla suddenly lurched at her and put her arms around her, giving her a hug. "I think you really are Anastasia Rose Steele underneath that mask. You have her balls!"

Not yet, but part of me wants to see if I can order them online...

Carla flew off towards Tom and Alexa sidled up to Jake.

"Are we going now?" He asked in anticipation.

"Umm...not yet..." Alexa pulled him away from the Professor. "I only wanted to go because of the way the Professor was flirting with you and touching you."

Jake cocked his head slightly to the side. "Alexa Welch, are you...Jealous?" He asked with a smirk.

"If that's why I want to rip her arm off and beat her with it, then yes, I'd say I was jealous. Incredibly so."

Jake looked at her in astonishment and then smiled adoringly. "You have nothing to be jealous of sweetheart, I promise." He ran his thumb over her lips. "Do you really think I could fancy someone like her, or any other woman in this room for that point? The sun rises and sets with you Alexa. No one even comes close."

Oh Jake...

"And you are my world and everything in it Jake." Alexa whispered lovingly. "But it's not you I don't trust. Carla's the same - terrified that Jane is going to do something inappropriate to Tom and Carla will lose it with her. But they can't leave as they're in a mini-bus with a bunch of others, that doesn't arrive for the next hour." She gave a deep sigh. "We can't leave now Jake, it wouldn't be fair. But we have to get you and Tom away from her, so you're going to have to join us on the dance floor for the next hour."

"But I can't dance!" Jake exclaimed.

"Neither can Tom apparently, but Carla and I will teach you both. Pretend it's Strictly Come Dancing."

"Strictly Come Shuffling, is probably nearer the mark." Jake groaned.

"OY! Christopher!" Tom shouted across to them. "You ready for this dance-off?"

Jake bristled. "It's Christian you ignoramus!" He then grinned at him.  "And I am SO going to whip your arse at dancing. You've just been served, mate!"




Alexa took both Jake's hands in hers as they found a space on the dance floor. It was a little less crowded now, as a lot of people had already called it a night.

"Take a small step forwards with your right foot," Alexa instructed over the music.

Bemused, Jake did so. Alexa then stepped forwards into him with her left foot, aligning their hips together. Still holding his hands, she placed his left one in the small of her back and then placed her freed left hand on the nape of his neck. Finally she took their intertwined right hands and placed them over his heart.

"THIS is how we're going to dance?" Jake hissed, so only she could hear. "All I've been thinking about for the past four hours, is fucking you on the stairs...and now we're going to spend the next hour with our hips grinding together?" He took a deep breath. "This is going to be torture!"

"Think of it as foreplay!"  She hissed back, giggling.

"JESUS! Don't giggle, laugh or do anything else that will make you vibrate even more against me!" Jake groaned.

"Get a grip, Martin!" Alexa chastised him with a smile. "Use your martial arts discipline!"

Jake squeezed her hand and lowered his lips to her ear. "I am going teach YOU some fucking discipline as soon as we are back home!"

WHOA! Oh yes please...

Alexa gave an involuntary shiver of pleasure and smirked as she heard Jake's moan.



"I could quite grow to like this dancing malarkey," Jake said as the DJ announced that he was going to play the final song - "Kids" by Kylie Minogue and Robbie Williams. "You have changed my opinion on so many things Alexa." He smiled down at her.

"For the better?" She asked, as their bodies continued to sway together.

"Yeah, pretty much. What I can't work out is, if I really had the wrong view of things, or it's because you make everything so enjoyable, I can't help but like them!"

Alexa beamed. "So you'd be happy to dance with me again?"

Jake's hand pushed into the small of her back as he held her harder against him. "Oh sweetheart, I'm happy to do anything that involves you pressed up against me!"




Jake and Tom headed to pick up the girls' coats from the cloakroom, whilst Carla and Alexa headed off to the toilets.

"Thank you so much for staying Alexa. I really think I would have lost the plot if you'd gone!"

Alexa squeezed her hand. "I'm glad I did. Jake now wants to try dancing again!"

"So does Tom! But I think that's got more to do with the fact he's getting laid tonight!"

They both laughed and headed into the cubicles.

When they were washing their hands, Carla turned to her.

"I've just realised...I don't have a clue what you look like! Take your mask off."

Shit! Not now...

"Oh Carla...I'll show you a photo. I've had the mask on for five hours, I'm sure my face has melted underneath!"

Carla put her hands on her hips. "Oh no you don't Miss Steele! If you and I are going to be friends, I wanna see your face! And don't even THINK of rolling your eyes at me!"

Alexa couldn't help but smile. She'd never really had a girlfriend and although she had only just met Carla, she felt she'd found a kindred spirit.

"Okay," she sighed. "Prepare yourself..."

Alexa put her fingertips of both hands on the cheekbones of the mask, pushed it up and rested it on the top of her head.

Carla looked at her, stunned.

Holy shit! Am I that bad?

Alexa looked in the mirror. Apart from a bit of smudged eyeliner and a pink, slightly sweaty face, she'd actually fared quite what was the problem? She turned back to Carla and opened her mouth to speak.

"You really are Anastasia Rose Steele," Carla whispered. "You've got the hair, the eyes and you're beautiful."


Alexa blushed. "You're far too kind Carla, thank you. But Anastasia had straight brown hair, blue eyes and am sure was much prettier than me. She was definitely younger!"

"Yes but...there's just something about your features. You could definitely pass for her. You and Jake almost make the perfect dopplegangers! You just need to dye his hair!"

Alexa laughed. "I'll put it to him...Dunno how he'd feel about going ginger!"

"Christian had copper hair!"

"I know! But Jake reckons E.L. James was just trying to make ginger men attractive!"

Laughing, they exited the toilets and as they made their way to the foyer, they passed Jane. She was sprawled on Captain Jack's knee, laughing loudly, whilst he ran his hands all over her. She was wearing his pirate hat and her basque had slipped almost indecently low.

"Jesus," Sophie whispered with a shudder.

"Talk about lucky escape," Alexa answered.

The turned the corner and saw their partners chatting by the glass doors.

"God, about time!" Tom complained as they approached. "Everyone's already the on the minibu...Fuck me, Alexa!"


Tom was staring at her. Tearing his gaze away, he turned to Jake.

"Punching way above your weight there, Martin!" He laughed, then turned back to Alexa. "I was convinced you were a minger under that mask!"

Carla punched his arm.

Oh right! I forgot to put it back in place!

Jake grasped her around the waist and pulled her flush against him. "She's stunning isn't she?" He asked looking directly at Alexa, his eyes meltingly soft. Alexa felt herself blush under his adoring gaze.

"You are one lucky bastard!" Tom laughed. He took Alexa's hand and kissed it. "Pleasure to meet you again, Alexa. Make sure you keep him in line!"

Alexa grinned. "I always do! Lovely to meet you too, Tom."

Carla pushed him out of the way and hugged Alexa. "You even blush like Ana! So text me, yeah? We'll meet up for lunch in the next couple of weeks and hit the sales!"

"Christ! Women and shopping!" Tom groaned. "Can you leave the poor sods alone now and just get on the bloody minibus woman!" He said in exasperation pushing a giggling Carla out of the door. "Jake, I'll see you Tuesday, mate. Night all."

Smiling, Jake and Alexa waved them all off on the minibus. As Tom was pushing the sliding door closed he shouted towards them.

"Oh - and by the way Martin. If that's the way you two dance, I'd love to see you fu..."

The door slid closed and the minibus drove off, leaving behind a grinning Jake and a mortified Alexa.

Seriously, time to go home...NOW..!





500g mince beef or lamb

1kg potatoes peeled and chopped

1 one medium sized onion chopped finely

2 sticks of celery and two large carrots chopped finely

400g Can chopped tomatoes

Tablespoon tomato purée

2 tsp dried herbs of your choice

Milk and butter


Cover potatoes with water add a large pinch of salt and bring to the boil. Cook until tender, then drain. Add enough milk and butter to form a mash and mash until smooth. Check seasoning and add salt and pepper to taste.


Add a tablespoon of cooking oil to a frying pain and bring it up to a high heat. Add the veg and sauté for 5 minutes and then add the mince. Fry everything well until the meat has browned, then add in the tomatoes, tomato purée and herbs and stir well. Bring everything to the boil and remove from heat. Preheat oven to 200•C/180•F/Gas 6.


Place into an oven proof dish and spread over the mash. Fork lines into the top and bake for around 30 mins or until top is lightly golden and mince is bubbling.


Bon Appetite!













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