This is Me

This is me. The real me. The past I rarely share. The secrets I've hiden. My joy. My hurt. School. My friends. Everything.
This, this is me.


27. :'(

(3-20-13) I swear I'll get better at putting the date!

Ok. So yeah. Bad week. :(



So our school is doing little mermaid. I auditoned. I thought I did good. But then I got a chef. #3 chef.

I have no lines.

All I do is sing les possions.

Pretty big downer for someone who's like me and sees words as an exscape for life.



Why my voice is important

I have a big fear of public speaking. Plays are differant, you can't see your audience. But public speaking... Ouch. I spent a month learning a speach.

I got over my fear (mostly) and I read a speach about bullying. It was for a contest.

I made a bunch of people cry. It wasn't my goal, and it was kinda like "Woops?" I just talked about how I felt when I was bullied in fifth grade and stuff.

I had a good feeling I'd win. I was hopeing, deep in the center of my core, in my heart, in my soul, that'd I'd win and go on to the next round.

Then I lost.

The goal was to write about why your voice is important. The speches were all supposed to be titled, why my voice is important. You picked a topic and told how you could help this topic. My topic was bullying and how to prevent it. I also addmited how I wanted to kill myself at one point.

3rd. Place went to a girl you spent 4 minutes talking about why you need a voice.

2nd went to a girl who talked about why the arts were important.

1st. Went to a girl who talked about why giving little kids acsess to phones/laptops/excess tv was bad.



Good news was I got to see Thad. He was one of my friends from the school paper when I went to Edgewood.

I was always considered cool at edgewood because I was friends with the popular, older kids.  Lexi, Thad, Adam. But at a school with 100 kids, and like 3 fights a year, it's pretty easy to be popular. It's easy to be one of the smartest kids at the school.

I think the reason big crowds overwhelm me is because the most people I ever saw at one time was 100. And that was school. And I was taller then half of them. And friends with all the "popularish" kids. Really they were just older so everyone assumed they were cool. Really they were all sorat nerds. Lol. I mean Thad was. That boy is SMART! I'm expecting him to be a scientist. Lol, or a mini captain america. He looks just like the guy that plays captain america now! He didn't used to though.

Oh and I talked to the guy I like, Austin, for more then 3 minutes without wanting to run away. :) That's good right?



Oh well. Back to my depressing week.




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