This is Me

This is me. The real me. The past I rarely share. The secrets I've hiden. My joy. My hurt. School. My friends. Everything.
This, this is me.

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12. I feel tears, but they wont fall.....

(12-14-12)

Yea..... Ik.... Another sad chapter.... I'm sorry. There is something bringing me to type this...

I mean, can't work on my project cuz I don't have microsoft word on my laptop, and I'm so tiredddddd....

I feel depression. Gosh I swear I'm bipolar. I'll be happy one minute, depressed the next.

And my dream has me freaked.

So like, I was dating Lucus in it. And  our relationship was one of those adorable ones. Yea know the ones..... I know about them from movies.... That's it..... :\

Well Kirstin(1nna my bffs) was dating this guy. She dumped him, and Lucus dumped me. I asked Lucus why and he was all like "I was dating you to get to Kirstin. Not sorry about it!" And I'm like mad and I yell "Ohkay! Great! THANKS FOR BEING A BUTT!"

And like we had a field trip to D.C and once we left D.C we were going to New York. (IDK) and like we left for dc at like 8pm. And we had to sit a guy with a girl. IDK why! But I sat with Tanner. Ash sat with Chan,  Ty sat with Karren, and Lucus sat with Kirstin. I was like telling Tanner bout my and Lucus's fight and break up and stuff. Me and Tannner r like close so like I have my back on the window and my legs over his lap. They are like bent over his lap. And like at 11ish I'm like crying into his shoulder silently and he has his hand on my waist and his other hand stroking my hair, trying to calm me down cuz half of the bus is sleeping. (Only people awake are Karren, Tyler, Kirstin, Lucus, Tanner, and Me) Well like Kirstin and Lucus are like makeing out and like they stop and they notice me and Kirstin is all like "Woah. Slut alert!" And I look up and everyone awake is looking at her. And she goes "Sam! You shouln't get oversomeone that fast. Gosh, you're such a slut!"

And Lucus laughs and like a couple of people who were like awake after Kirstin yelled slut alert laughed. And I'm just like quiet and I like cry. and Like Tyler screams "Sam A SLUT? HECK NO! KIRSTIN YOU'RE THE SLUT! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FLIPPING DUMPS YOU'RE BOYFRIEND FOR YOU'RE NOW EX-BESTFREINDS BOYFRIEND! AND YOU'VE HAD LIKE 13 BOYFRIENDS THIS MONTH! YOU'RE THE SLUT!" and like alot of people are awake now and they like laugh or go "Ohhhh" or "It just got personal." Crap like that. And Kirstin gets all mad.

And like Karren is all like "Sam IS NOT a slut! She's had ONE boyfriend. WHO DUMPED HER FOR ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS! How in the world does that make her a slut!?!?!"

And Kirstin starts trying to fight us. And Ashley just like back hands her. So Kirstin is like "ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH ME OR THE B****!" And Ash says, "If Sam is the b****, then Sam. But you're the b****!" And then Mrs. Sipes is like "KIRSTIN LUCUS! GET OFF THIS BUS NOW!" and she strands them in the middle of nowhere and I hug all my friend that were defending me, then wake up.

And I wake up and say "WHAT THe HECK!" Kirstin wouldn't do that. So why did I dream it? Ugh. My dreams make no since. EVER.

 

Omg. I swear I have a little ghost stalker. I mean, I like him. He makes me feel safer. But IDK who he is, or what his story is or anything. Sometimes I hear him whisper my name, or he'll be whipsering something and mid sentence it just fades away. Or you hear him(Yes. From voice you know it's him) whispering, but don't know what he's saying. Today I felt him like grab my sholder. Idk who he is... But Ik he's here ya know?

 

I am sorry but I won't be updateing much or possibly at all this weekend. I have this project due Tuesday and I'm nowhere near done. :( Sowwy. UGH! i'm tired..... Luv ya guys.

 

:( Sadness ):

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