This is Me

This is me. The real me. The past I rarely share. The secrets I've hiden. My joy. My hurt. School. My friends. Everything.
This, this is me.

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1. My Past

 

Kindergarten- I remember very little of kindergarten. I just remember doing something(Something about a note. I don't really remember) that made Abram hate me. I don't remember what it said. All I know is it made him hate me. He became my worst enemy. I tried to be his friend of course, but by 3rd grade I'd given up. I couldn't get him to stop hating me. I remember Marcia and Merklin too. And Mya and Drew. And Abby and Grace. And Austin, the dude that was in love with me. And Noah, one of my closest friends. And painting the purple teddy bear that I lost(But it's been 8 years so I have no clue why I'd still have it). And Anna. I sortof remember Anna.

 

First Grade- Again, I remember very little. I remember my best friend, Mya Thomas. She was super nice. And she had an awesome twin brother named Drew. I also remember Zachary Kerbs(Zach, if you see this, I know I spelled your last name wrong. Sorry :) I remember the first day vaguly. I remember the bus stop. D.J, another good friend, was on the same bus as me. I also remember when D.J feel off the bus. But what I remember best was the playground with Mya. Watching America's Funniest Home Viedos with Zachary. Going to Mya and Drew's house. The movies with D.J. Talking about cats with Collin. I had other friends. Lauren,(You'll hear much more about her) Lacie, Hailey, Davion, Julia, Eboni, and Verna. But, I don't remember them well. I don't remember any storys about them.

 

Second Grade- Now, I had the same teacher for first and second grade, so the memories get mixed up. I remember Hailey and Aaron and Collin leaveing our class. I remember the first time I felt worthless. I remember Mya helping me feel better. I remember our teacher dressing up as an m&m because the class had been good for a really long time. I remember Cameron. That boy was hilarious. I remember Chole, my cat, dieing. How I felt terrible. I remember little, yet again. My memory of these times is horrible, because the bad stuff hadn't begun yet.

 

Third Grade- Now is when it gets hard. I remember afew good things. I remember Lauren and I becoming best friends, because we were the only ones the other knew in our class. I remember when Garrett tried to chair surf. I remember the cheeto in Jacob's shirt. I remember Jalen, Lauren, Garrett and I becomeing good friends. I remember Valentine's day. The box decoration contest, me winning. I remember Jenna moving to town. Her becoming a good friend of mine. I remember laughing so much, just not about what. I remember playing tag EVERYDAY! I remember becomeing friends with some of the "Big Kids". Then I remember the bad things. Feeling worthless all the time. Alexa and Abram joining forces to ruin my life. Making fun of me everyday. Getting in trouble because something another kid said. Being made fun of because I had a Winnie the Pooh coat(That was a hand-me-down. But it fit, and I thought it was cute). Loseing sudent councial because I wasn't "cool". Mya going into the other class.  Being asked to sit at the popular table, feeling accepted. Then after about a week I realized they were taking what I was saying, and using it against me. I remember Uncle Joe dieing. I remember feeling worthless over and over. I remember wanting to die. I remember two good friends fighting over who got to hang out with me because they hated each other. I remember ignoring them both for a week. I remember falling off the jungle gym. I remember feeling like crap.

 

Fourth Grade- I remember Mya and Drew and Zachary going to Lapel. I remember Jamison. How much fun I had with him. I remember Jenna moving. How I cried for 20 minutes. How Jayce showed me all his scabes(It was gross. But he was funny, so I ignored it). Getting bullied by Abram, again. I don't remember much else. Except the fact that Jalen moved in down the street. I remember playing volleyball with him. Playing on his slip-in-slide. Baskettball, soccer, catch. We did all kinds of stuff together. I went over to Lauren's house alot. One of my favorite memories of that year was around Halloween. Jalen snuck up behind me in a Saw mask. So to get back at him I had one of our halloween decorations turn on and growl at him, which scared him cuz it was right next to his face. Then he had his foot right next to a hand sticking up out of the gound. When he noticed, I died laughing.

 

Fifth Grade- Jalen moved to APA. Me, Lauren, Garrett, and Hailey all went to North Side. Sadly Abram went with us. He also had a hatred of me burning through his core. So much hate, he PAID a girl to hit me. And she hit hard. Lauren and I stayed in the same class. Jamison went with us too. Mr. French's 5th Grade. Irronic thing bout Mrs. French, she knew spainish, lattin, english, and sigh language, but she didn't know french. I remember getting my first crush, Charlie. I remember how he never said if he liked me of if he didn't. I remember Jamichel. He was in LOVE with Lauren. I remember when he ate toothpaste and Jamison lead him to believe he would die. How much Lauren and I laughed. I remember Ari(LaughLikeNiall is her movella name). I remember how me and her became besties. Justin Bieber, I'd like to thank you for giving me a great best friend. I remember eating pancakes in class. I remember Pancake the fly. (May he Rest In Peace :'(. I remember makeing up a fake laungae with Ari. I remember Leacher Poolick(Inside Joke. Ari'll get it). I remember the fake love letters to Charlie. I remember Ari getting nervous and saying Katie wrote them. I remember Katie being an awesome friend and going along with it. Saying she wrote them, even though she had no clue what the notes even said. I remember him haveing to sit next to Katie right after that. I remember Isaiah giving me a sillyband (hot pink car) for no reason. I remember Devon writing in his hair with pink highlighter because he wanted pink bangs. I remember Skylie(another of my BESTEST friends). I remember the song Cooler Then Me(Mike Posener). How I sang along with the radio, and Skylie did too. How everyone stared at us. Some with shock, others with wonder. I remember CACTUS! I remember writenign notes to Ari in art. I remember the comercials with Lauren and Skylie. I remember ours being completely dorky. I remember the bounce house with Charlie. Him being a complete idiot, me trying not to make a complete fool of myself. How we spent about two hours in the gym. I remember Jamichle sining "Oh Christmas Tree" in April and Isiah screams, "IT IS APRIL!" and Jamichle says "I can spred the joy of Chirstmas all year long!" and Isiah says "BUT NOT IN APRIL!" I remember reading Where the Red Fern Grows and crying my eyes out in the middle of class. I remember Charlie laughing at me, and that making me laugh. I remember 5..7..5 and making Charlie think Me, Ari, and Chivas were going to eat him. ;) L0L. I remember the song "I just wanna run" by Downtown Fiction. How it was my favorite song. How me and Ari used it to make fun of Charlie because he was almost always running. I remember the day me, Chivas, Ari, and Charlie sat together. How we never stopped laughing. I remember Kendal. The mystery boy whose name I made up until I found out his real name. I remember watching the Christmas Carol. I remember going into Garrett's class to watch it. How everyone made fun of certain parts. How we watched the Sorcerer's Stone on the last day. How my favorite song played in it, (Secrets by One Republic). How I sang it and Devin looked at me shocked. I said what and he just smiled and poked me. (He wanted to start a poke war, But I'm am the poking queen, so I won). How he wore my mood ring and it said he was in love. How me and Ari made fun of him. How he said "The stupid thing is broke!" then we laughed more. How Ari put the ring on and it said she was in love too. So I take that time to help Ari with the fact that she likes him by screaming "IT'S A SIGN!" How they both laughed.  How Devon put his hat and Yullisa(this chick that liked Devon) got super jelous. How I stole his hat and hid it. How it took him like an hour to find. How after he let me wear it. (It was a seriously awesome hat.) Oh, and I remember mine and Ari's hid out in her house. How we wrote a song, then it sounded like Enchanted by Taylor Swift. But it was still pretty good. We called it Be Mine-

"AND IT'S IT'S IT'S! AND IT'S IT'S IT'S! IT'S WHEN YOU BECAME MINE MINE MINE! IT'S WHEN I ASKED YOU TO BE MINE MINE MINE!"

 

Sixth Grade- Last year. The year Ari left me. The year I meet Ashley and Kirstin and Tyler. The year I meet Chandler. The year Charlie and me became close. The year me and Ari talked on the phone EVERYDAY! The year I was coragus enough to ask out a guy. Kaide. Kaide Borton. How I almost cried when he said no. How Tyler said he almost said yes but Seth told him not too. How everyone laughed when I actually did cry at lunch. He was my second crush. I wasn't really used to it yet. What did you expect me to do? Get rejected then automatically stop liking him. And when you're told the guy you like likes you, you usually do something! I didn't think all 4 of them were lieing! But I guess that doesn't matter. By the end of the year I'd liked like 7 guys. Oh, I remember when Ash and Ty started dating! I never thought they'd break up. But the Saturday before 7th grade Ash came over and she told me they broke up. We played with this stuff called wonderdough and I spilled water on it and it stained the porch. Now there are green stains on the porch. I remember getting stuck in Hailey, Devin, and Caleb's love triangle. I guess it was ok, because everyone came to me to see what was going on with them, but I was confused because each one had differant stories. I remember the day at the mall with Hailey, Tyler, Caleb, and Mia(Hailey's sister). How Tyler told Mia not to bye from the cup machiene because she'll get the stupidist thing in the world and Mia screams (Ps The cup machince is in THE VERY MIDDLE of the mall) "I'll get aids!". How I went(In Tyler's words) "Totally Black Ops" following Hailey and Caleb to see were they were going. I remember Mia taking my angry bird.    >:( I'll get him back Mia... You'll see! I remember Hailey's little sister, Victoria, attacking us, so we threw candy canes at her. I remember the tiger song, the badger song, the narwhal song, the harry potter song, and the flying squirrel song. I remember going to the dances, and how everyone just ran around in circles. (Yea. The music sucked). How I meet Holly Black. How I gave her a story I wrote. How all my friends that read it said it was good. Even a kid that didn't like me liked my story. How there were rumors that I had aids. How I got so depressed that I cut myself once. How Charlie and Chandler helped me though it. How I never told anyone else. Well, untill now. How I acsedently hit Kirstin in the face with a book(Sorry bout that girly). How the teacher was messing with me about giving me a referal, and I didn't know she was kidding. How I cried. How I cussed a couple times to fit in, then felt completly horrible about it, because it wasn't me, and it wasn't right. That was when I accepted I'm differant and I will always be an outcast. A misfit. But I have a big group of misfit friends who love me for who I am and don't give a fudge that I'm not "cool" or "popular". They just love me.

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